50 and becoming boring - anyone else resonate?

[theartfuldodger100]

This weekend I had the chance to go away (UK) with friends. I binned this off because I would rather be at home. Home in my comfy joggers. Home having a spring clean and looking forward to giving the house a good clean and making it smell nice and feel clean and sorted. Home so I can go on long runs. Home so I can have a BBQ (weather permitting!) and my choice of food (whereas being away and going to restaurants I am limited to the menu choices). Home so I have all my creature comforts around me. Home in my safe space. and own bed.

Is this peri ?

am I becoming boring ?

anyone else resonate ?

It's odd isn't it. Because if you're in your early 50s people don't want to be told to look ahead and prepare, put things in order, for when you're 70+. That said, perhaps one should not be too enthusiastic about getting used to a way of life that you could also easily do in your 70s, if you see what you mean - you have time to live like that later down the line, if you see.

What might you do in your 50s that you may not be able to do later on in life?

That said, the past hangs heavier in your 50s. It can be hard to multi-task in the sense of doing lots of things during the day, to flit. When you're younger you can spend time prepping for something, some enjoyable activity, and it seems okay, but older and you only notice the prepping, chances are.

All those books that are going to change your life - I mean, too late now isn't it.

I will never fly again

Cannot be fucked with any of it

May watch even more tv though (tv is amazing now, so much good stuff on )

The main thing is recognising what makes you happy and doing it, not going along with what everyone else is doing or is expected of you.

I'm 56 and out all the time, I love it. I also enjoy a couple of days at home but could stay in every night and all weekend.

Love travelling, eating out, pubs, cinema, theatre. Both DCs have left home in the last few months so it's just me and DH. Thankfully he feels the same at the moment, but I also like being out or on hols with friends.

I’m not sure age has anything to do with this op! I was a home body aged sixteen! I know someone in their 90s who still lives to travel!

Too late? Not until you are dead.

I agree with this (and fortunately so do most of my friends). You’ve got your 70s to stay at home and watch TV. Now is the time to travel to new places, visit cities you’ve not been in before, go to interesting bars and eat good food - all without worrying about getting a babysitter. A a weekend doing housework would be my worst nightmare.

I think it's more about being able to do what you want.
I'm 53 with a 15 yo at home, working full time.

I've been a lone parent for a long time. For quite a bit of that I was I was not well emotionally.

Youngest is older now and I have TIME. There are loads of things I want to do that I haven't been able to while raising a family (not a complaint, just factual). I don't want to wish his life away, but I do see my peers who had their children younger really having a great time and I do feel a bit green.

I have friends overseas I want to visit, my peers can spontaneously decide to go swimming in the river, I have 4 billion jobs I need to do on my home.

I can see that in as little as 10-20 years I may have health issues (hopefully not, I am in fine health atm) and I really don't want to get to retirement age and realise that I can't do all these things.

So no, I don't think I am becoming boring.

I will never fly again

I am so over flying. Unfortunately there are just a few more places I'd like to tick off, but planning on getting those done within the next 10 years. By 65 (at the latest) I won't be doing long haul again for sure.

I kind of get what a pp was saying in that why do things in your 50's that you could do in your 70s. Conversely though, none of us know how long we have. So why "force" yourself to do things in your 50's if you're not enjoying them. Time goes by so fast that if you wait until you're 70 to just relax and potter, well you could be dead by 75! (if not before).

At the same time, some people do find they have more energy once they're retired. So I think it's also possible that some people might well feel more like doing things once they reach stage.

I think this is success tbh - you are happy at home and with your own family.

Boring is the new exciting.

I have gone absolutely the other way too! I am always out and travel a lot. Enjoying the freedom after years of childcare.

I hate flying too but planning a big inter railing trip for my 50th. I am feeling the urgency to do as much stuff as possible after years of being too poor and putting kids needs first at all times.

I mean staying in to clean instead of doing anything more interesting is unfathomable to me

I should have said, for me it isn't peri as I had quite an early menopause.

My anxiety disorder probably has more to do with it but I have always been an introvert. Saying that though, in my twenties and thirties I partied hard and got the t-shirt!

But op maybe cleaning and using this time to get her house in order so that she can go and do more interesting things. And even if she isn’t, and she’s just taking pleasure in taking care of herself and the space that she inhabits, that’s fine too. We’re not all the same thank heavens. We are allowed to find satisfaction in different things.

I’m already like this and I’m 36 😁
I am very happy to turn down any invitation or activity that I don’t feel will genuinely contribute to my happiness. It’s liberating.

I’m still a few years off 50 but I’m with you already OP. I like pottering, playing word games, going for walks in the countryside, listening to informative radio programmes and baking (and eating) cakes. I don’t care what other people think about it.

Yes, definitely. I'm 49 and used to be adventurous. I married an adventurous man. He is still adventurous but I'm happier pottering around at home.

There's still too much of the world I want to see, and more I want to take the teens to whilst we can.

We go out to all sorts of things quite a lot. I find it fun, usually, odd dud but even then it's generally a funny memory.

Same age.

I like a weekend at home but wouldn't like to think of it as the norm. Not yet anyway, perhaps in our 70s.

I agree with @AgentProvocateur .
You're in your 50s not your 70s.
I'm 52 and am always planning holidays and trips away. There's a whole world out there.
I love my home too but can't bear being cooped up.
Not criticising you, if you're happy with your life then great but it wouldn't be enough for me.

If it's any consolation- I am very early 20s.. and these are all my ideas of fun

• a whole house blitz done in one day
• clean crisp bedding (ESPECIALLY after a shower and a shave 🤣)
• food shopping alone
• not having to get dressed for the day
• going to bed as early as I like

You're not boring at all, you just like your own company and your home comforts 🩷

I’m 55 and the opposite, I say yes to every invite I get, I wish my friends wanted to do more. I love to travel with my DH or on my own. Next month I’m off to Switzerland to meet my American friend. I love days out, lunches and dinners out, trips to the cinema and seeing new places.
I love my home too but know it’s always there to go back too and it’s even nicer on the evening after a night out.

OP, I do try to keep up with friends for this exact reason. I expect to have more energy for them once I've retired and don't want to find myself socially isolated, but it's hard not to give in 100%. I love being home in the clean and quiet.

Is this because you are very busy going out, working etc the rest of the time? So this feels a treat? That’s different from never doing anything other than that.

I wish I liked cleaning house. My house is a pit. I also have the problem of my friends not wanting to do as much as me.

Do it on your own! So.o theatre/travel/exercise is great!