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Original poster

Do you celebrate how long you’ve been together and your wedding anniversary or just the latter?

117 replies

JusWunderin · 30/04/2024 12:17

I’ve been with DH for 10 years in August and our first wedding anniversary is 3 weeks later in September.

I saw a post recently where a lot of people said they no longer celebrate how long they’ve been with their partners but only their wedding anniversary’s.

I’m not really sure it feels justifiable to have a celebration for 10 years together and then another 3 weeks later for our anniversary so I’m think I’ll just combine the two and celebrate both on our anniversary.

But I’m interested to know whether anyone else celebrate both, or just one?

OP posts:
Lampzade · 30/04/2024 12:37

We celebrate the date we got together.

MulticolouredSloth · 30/04/2024 12:38

Our anniversaries are only 4 days apart so we tend to celebrate them together. Which for us means a card and maybe a meal/takeaway if we fancy it. We had been together 8 years when we got married so seems weird to not acknowledge those years.

Beebumble2 · 30/04/2024 12:44

We celebrate our anniversary, cards and lovely meal out. We avoid going anywhere because our children are adults and it’s in the middle of the school summer holidays.
This year we’re celebrating our 50 th anniversary, but don’t want a fuss, so were having a meal with DCs, DGCs and possibly a sibling or two.

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Events & celebrations
Ladyj84 · 30/04/2024 12:46

We always go away for a couple of days each wedding anniversary actually everybody I know pretty much does the same thing

fieldsofbutterflies · 30/04/2024 12:48

We don't really celebrate either.

MsRinky · 30/04/2024 12:49

We got married on the 10 year anniversary of getting together, so we celebrate both (but on the same date!)

SleepingStandingUp · 30/04/2024 12:49

JusWunderin · 30/04/2024 12:36

@RustyBear i love that idea! I think because 10 years together is such a long time and a bit of a milestone (a decade of tolerating eachother without leaving 😂) that I feel a bit sad to not celebrate it and ‘just’ celebrate 1 year a few weeks later😯

I suppose there’s no harm in acknowledging how long we’ve been together at the same time as out 1 year anniversary. Not that anyone except us actually cares 😂

Acknowledge it to each other, but some nice cakes and get in a drink. We didn't do much more for our 1st anniversary tho either, are you planning a big celebration?

TulipBluebells · 30/04/2024 12:50

I celebrate everything! Life is too short and doesn’t have enough reasons to celebrate. Sometimes we will just got for lunch or I’ll say ‘today is X day’ and we will talk about happy memories. Sometimes we go all out and go abroad etc.

Pipsquiggle · 30/04/2024 12:51

Wedding anniversary only - a card. We might go out for a drink. But that's basically it.

I can't remember when we 'got together' it was about 20 years

reluctantbrit · 30/04/2024 12:53

We were together for 9 years (minus 2 months) when we got married. For a while we acknowledge both dates but over the years it's now only our wedding anniversary.

And even that is now properly celebrated between us when it's a bigger one, We did something for us for our 20th and I plan a weekend away for the 25th in 2 years.

ringoffiire · 30/04/2024 12:53

We usually acknowledge the day we got together in that we both know it and will say 'oh, it's that day today' but no cards etc.

The wedding anniversary is the one we celebrate.

SkaneTos · 30/04/2024 12:53

I am not in a relationship myself, but my parents celebrate three dates:
The date of their first date, the anniversary of their engagement, and their wedding anniversary. Just between themselves, but I think it's really sweet. They give each other flowers and go out to dinner. They have been married for almost 45 years.

BirdsofAmerica · 30/04/2024 12:54

I remember when we got together, but not our wedding anniversary, which my SIL finds horrifying. I don't even remember reliably which month it's in. We don't celebrate either.

FiveTreeHill · 30/04/2024 12:54

If you want to celebrate 10 years together celebrate it. Life's to short to limit the celebrations

Personally I feel celebrating our wedding anniversary is more a celebration of our relationship, so it includes celebrating the years we've been married as well as the years we've been together

TextureSeeker · 30/04/2024 12:57

Dh and I have been together for 20 years and married for 12. We acknowledge the anniversary of our first date most years, we forget our wedding anniversary most years. Celebrate what you want to celebrate though, nobody else even needs to know about it.

ComtesseDeSpair · 30/04/2024 12:58

We celebrate our wedding anniversary (and usually throw a party, because we love parties and so do all our friends, and maximising joy in everything is the stuff of life) but one or the other of us will usually remember our getting together day most years, though only tend to mention it to the other in passing.

I think it’s up to individuals what they like to celebrate. As long as you’re both on the same page and one of you doesn’t care and the other gets deeply upset about it.

SabreIsMyFave · 30/04/2024 13:00

We've got our wedding anniversary in May and we met in October (3.5 years before we got married.) For the first probably 8 to 10 years we were together - we used to have a little bit of a meal in the October for the amount of years we'd been together - as well as a celebration for our wedding anniversary in the May of each year.

We got married three and half years after meeting. We've been together over 30 years now. We stopped the October celebration about 9 or 10 years after meeting (6 or so years after getting married.) We had 2 kids by then and other things became more important, like their birthdays, and lots of other things involving them!

Both my adult daughters - in their mid 20s now - have been with their partners five to seven years. They're not married yet (both engaged,) and they still celebrate when they met. Not sure if they will celebrate when they met when they've been married a few years. It does seem like something somebody would do when they've been married for less than 10 years. But no-one I know does this when they have been married many years. I don't even remember the date we met now. I just know it was October... Just over 30 years ago.

Jokl · 30/04/2024 13:03

We tend to remember our ‘got together’ anniversary in a ‘oh wow, it’s been x years’ kind of way, but we only really celebrate our wedding anniversary. If that, the month we married is a very busy one work-wise for DH.

justanotherlaura · 30/04/2024 13:03

We only celebrate our wedding anniversary now, although just a dinner out, no gifts or cards or anything. I do usually still tell people we've been married for 5 but together for 16 years because it feels like it invalidates the first 11 years we were together if I don't but we usually forget and don't acknowledge the day when it comes around.

perlion · 30/04/2024 13:07

We've never celebrated how long we've been together. We celebrate our wedding anniversary with a quiet meal, nothing major and it doesn't involve anyone except me and DH.
I suspect DH has no idea when we first got together. I remember it as I use it as a memorable date for security, that no one else can guess!

nokidshere · 30/04/2024 13:07

Our anniversary is tomorrow, 37yrs. We buy a card and we are toying with the idea that we might go out to lunch. Occasionally he buys me flowers. We don't celebrate when we met although do remember it was around Christmas 1984.

It really doesn't matter what date you celebrate if you are both happy with it. But I absolutely do not believe so many people 'don't remember' the date they got married. Sure, I understand that you might forget on the actual day when you are busy etc, but to not remember the date you got married is highly unlikely for most people.

mindutopia · 30/04/2024 13:15

We acknowledge both in a way, though our wedding anniversary and the date we started dating are in the same month (not same day) but a few years apart. We wouldn't really 'celebrate' either though, not really. It would be more of a 'oh, it's been 15 years today!' sort of thing. We might have a special dinner at home on our wedding anniversary, but no presents or cards or anything more than that. We aren't really those sort of people.

Thinking about it though, the date we got together is more special that our wedding anniversary, and I think we would celebrate that more if they weren't a week apart, but seems a bit over the top to celebrate both.

Peonies12 · 30/04/2024 13:17

We don’t really pay attention to the years; we just celebrate our wedding’s anniversary

Original poster
JusWunderin · 30/04/2024 13:21

This is interesting to see how everyone does it differently.

@SleepingStandingUp no, by celebrate I mean probably just a bit of a over dinner after the kids have gone to bed and then to the sofa for a movie and a glass of wine (or three)

the most we’ll do it get a baby sitter in and go out for dinner I expect. I don’t really have the energy to do any ‘big celebrations’😂

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 30/04/2024 13:22

Neither. Been married 26 years or 27 maybe. Met at the end of 1997 and married beginning of 1998 so however many years they are.

I'm just not romantic sadly. Thankfully I married an equally soulless wretch so all is good 🤣

I think people should celebrate as many things as often as they want to if it brings them happiness. God knows we all need more of that in our lives.