My 4yo DS has been learning Spanish for 6 months now, but he hasn't even mastered how to say 'please' in the language. I think that's poor for four.
It's not very well known about, but Elaine Paige and Tina Turner once collaborated in writing a gripping thriller novel. All the critics described it as... a very compelling read.
I Shazammed a fax machine and it came up with Minnie Ripperton.
A creepy bloke at work insists that every woman he meets describes him as 'a real looker'.
Well, they actually all use the word 'voyeur' - but he says it means exactly the same thing.
I finally resigned from my job as the triangle player in a reggae band last month, as I'd got so sick of it after 20 years. It was just one ting after another.
Musical Youth are as popular as ever and are still touring the country every year, but one thing they point-blank refuse to do is to travel south on the M5 whenever they're in Devon.
They always insist that they must pass the Duchy on the left-hand side.
Talking of which, a huge classic pop revival festival was planned to be held on the banks of the river Tamar, but sadly, the idea had to be scrapped, after The Jam and Cream couldn't agree who would go on first.
A similar event that I helped to organise nearly ended in disaster after an enormous fight broke out backstage between Steps and Jamiroquai and they very nearly came to blows.
Luckily, I managed to get between H and Jay Kay.
I went to a livestock auction a number of years ago and I was pleasantly surprised to bump into the Chuckle Brothers there.
They were going to meet a ewe.
I remember the good old days when I could walk into a supermarket with £5 and walk out with a trolley containing six sirloin steaks, a frozen turkey, 2lbs of premium Swiss cheese, two really decent bottles of wine, a crate of beer, three loaves of bread, eight pints of milk, a big box of posh chocolates, 4 2l bottles of Coke and a family sized Black Forest gateau.
There's no way I'd ever be able to do that nowadays... they all have cameras everywhere now.