Would you have spent more or less on your wedding?

[NoImRenlea]

H2B and I are fortunate to be able to afford a nice wedding but i am wondering if we’d regret spending so much money. We already own a house and have children who are saving for too, and they already have good inheritances from other family members saved away.

one venue I have seen I absolutely love but it’s at the top of what I’d comfortably spend. But the cheaper options look a bit sad compared to the lush venue.

we are the last ones of our friends to get married so everyone would be really up for the party, and I want a big thing celebrating with everyone

we’d still have money in savings leftover after and none on credit cards etc

did anyone regret spending money on a wedding? Or wish you’d spent more?

I was the celebration of our love that mattered to us and sharing it with those we loved. We spent peanuts compared to most and I wouldn't change a thing about the day, if you are comfortable with your budget and it doesn't cause hardship then go for it.

We spent £200. I thought it was too much back then and still think it was today. Very happy marriage.

My lovely wedding was 10k 30 years ago.

It was worth every penny.

Go for it OP - it is literally the most important day of your life.

I feel sorry for my DDad who stumped up the cash for my wedding and now we are divorcing? But we spent about the right amount. I'm not into large flashy weddings. Ours was small and informal.

I had a registry office with no one and nothing after so I wish we'd spent more 😂 but we didn't have it to spend so.

Lots of people I talk to say they wished they'd spent less on the actual wedding day and did a big holiday instead especially when you have kids and house etc already.

I hear lots of it was only one day for all that money and lots of I was so stressed I didn't enjoy it didn't eat missed lots of it. I think sometimes the more you spend the more you become invested in it being perfect or going to plan which inevitably life doesn't. I think spending less and being more relaxed able yo enjoy it would be a much better plan.

For me the only important things I'd re do were having a photographer and wearing an actual wedding dress.

you won't look back at 60 at regret having all the things you both want and all the special details - but you will look back and regret not having them

I'd cut out the family dinner thing we did if we did it again (eloped) or I'd do it elsewhere. Not keen on where we ended up.

Elopement wise I don't actually know (or care) how much we spent. It was great. I'd choose a different dress. And a different ring. And would've cut a location off the honeymoon.

If a big party with lots of people is important to you, and you have the money, then why not?!

We spent 25k in 2019, don't regret it, we did save in some areas and splash out in others that were important to us so I would definitely do that.

For example, we didn't have chair covers and simple home-made centre pieces on the tables but did spend £1000 on a Photo Booth, £2.5k on the wedding video and our rings were £1200 combined

I'd decide on the important things to you and not splash out on stuff you only think you have to have at a wedding

Can you link the venues?

I think the very moment a celebration is a wedding it inflates the prices for everything. When you order the cake and book a venue for the reception could you just say it’s for a party and not mention anything about a wedding? It might keep the costs down a bit.

Top choice: https://www.botleyhillbarn.co.uk/

Second choice:
https://lainsbarn.co.uk/weddings/

Here you are ^^

I didn't spend anything on our wedding as my mum married a wealthy man who liked to splash the cash (and his own dd's were NC with him - I only later found out why) so they paid for all of it. If I had been paying for it myself, no I wouldn't have spent that much.

It was a lovely day and a beautiful venue, but it's just a party. You can have a lovely party and a special day with friends/family without spending loads. Some of the nicest weddings I've been to were in village halls with no frills.

We couldn’t have spent much less.

Absolutely no regrets about that though.

Personally a village hall is my nightmare wedding venue!

We spent about 20k, including honeymoon. Which would have horrified me at the start of the process. But feeding 90 people with nice food is expensive! And food was very important to me and I really wanted to avoid the cliche of "slightly cold roast dinner with overcooked veg"

Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. We spent money on what was important to us and left the rest (eg no DJ, just a playlist of shuffle) and had the best day possible. I think people only regret the expense of the things they don't really care about but get pressured into doing

Village hall also doesn't necessarily mean cheap, as you'd have to book everything separately. Our hotel wedding cost about the same as my BIL village hall wedding.

We spent about £15k, zero regrets. It was such a lovely day, it was great having all our friends and family there and lots of them travelled from around UK so we wanted to provide plenty of food and drink. We found hotels much better value as they usually charge you per head and that includes everything - whereas those wedding venues usually charge a hire fee, then everything else on top.

sorry I didn’t finish my message - it’s a nightmare because of the DIY aspect. H2B and I have 2 kids and full time jobs so looking for somewhere where it’s all done for us, I don’t have time / energy to be fudging around with bunting or finding napkins etc etc

Mine was about £15-20k and don't regret it
The vast majority was spent on food and drink (we had an open bar) and focused on the guest experience so was worth it - we didn't have particularly fancy extras. Also if you get married in a church you're limited to the venues relatively close by.

We spent a lot but it was so worth it and I don't regret it. Part of the reason it cost a lot was that it was in central London for about 120 people. We wanted good food (Pru Leith's catering) and plenty of booze with an open bar. Good band. Gorgeous flowers. String quartet. Oooo it was fab!
I'm the only one of three girls to get married and my parents saw all their friends' kids marry years early (I was 40), so really wanted them to be able to host a superb party. Many of their friends came from abroad. My parents contributed, but my husband paid at least two thirds.
So no, don't regret it, but I must say my husband was a very high earner.

Ours was extremely DIY. We had the reception in the same garden as my parents had theirs.

DIY is more work but it isn’t too onerous if the whole family pitches in, which mine did. It was fun and it certainly helped keep keep cost under control for what was a relatively high headcount.

We spent around 20k, I don’t regret it but if I went back I’d probably want to elope and use the money for travelling/ holidays.

It’s a lot of money to spend on a day but at the end of the day it’s your money.

Does the venue mean you can invite more people or give them a better time or have better pictures? Are you getting pressure from anyone to spend more or less?

It sounds like you and your partner have a full life and must be working really hard, and being the last to get married you’ll have seen lots of other weddings. But remember that it’s your day and nobody else’s. If you want a small backyard wedding that’s fine but if you want the amazing venue and can afford it then go for it.

This sounds amazing, where did you get married?