Would you have spent more or less on your wedding?

[NoImRenlea]

H2B and I are fortunate to be able to afford a nice wedding but i am wondering if we’d regret spending so much money. We already own a house and have children who are saving for too, and they already have good inheritances from other family members saved away.

one venue I have seen I absolutely love but it’s at the top of what I’d comfortably spend. But the cheaper options look a bit sad compared to the lush venue.

we are the last ones of our friends to get married so everyone would be really up for the party, and I want a big thing celebrating with everyone

we’d still have money in savings leftover after and none on credit cards etc

did anyone regret spending money on a wedding? Or wish you’d spent more?

I got married in my garden at home. Cost about £3k with food, free flowing drink, marquee hire as well as tables and chairs, crockery, and the chap who married us etc. That was 22 years ago. Fabulous and relaxed day.

We spent more on our honeymoon 3 months later. I still don’t think I could spent tens of thousands on one day even now. Travel yes.

Much less. I wouldn't have bothered.

But…. I quite like my friends?!

😂

There are such miserable buggers on here about weddings!

If we had our time again we would have chosen registry office. It cost way too much and robbed us of a good start. We didn't get any help with the cost (despite my own parents having their wedding which didn't last paid for them). We could have done with the money for a bigger house deposit. More fool us. Least we are still together and happy, we have PTSD over the cost haha.

I regret the bits I scrimped on.

Overall I think we got good value on the venue, it wasn't the flashiest nor cheapest but we liked it and the pricing felt reasonable, albeit still a lot of cash.

I then tried to shave a bit here and there on the hairdresser and photographer in particular and I regret that.

We spent 4k (not including honeymoon) in the early 2000's. It was a lovely day, although I enjoyed the honeymoon more.

I regret it.

My wedding was great and not hugely expensive but I wish we'd got married rather than had a wedding.

We got a family member to do the photos and honestly I think that people's phones would have done a better job.

I was glad I did my own hair and make up on the day - I feel like I looked like me.

My dress was a typically heavy bridal dress - I regret buying that... It was gorgeous but it was a pain in the hole on the day. Remember when you are standing still in an air conditioned bridal room it's very different to throwing shapes the dance floor on a hot day. I was sweating in places I didn't know sweat glands existed I'm also not a train person. The dress I picked had a train and the plan always was to alter it to remove the train. Persuaded by my unofficial MOH and dressmaker I kept it, because it was stunning. But such a pain. It got stepped on every 5 minutes, and the whole venue ran out of safety pins to keep it out of the way because the hook button thingy pinged off somewhere.

If you've kids coming, it's worth doing something that will entertain them - we had a bouncy castle the venue provided and a kiddie bar tab so we barely saw them. Then when the DJ started they joined in with us.

We were quite old fashioned about it - got married before kids and quite young, and our parents paid for it! We barely paid for anything.

If we were doing it now, we'd probably have something smaller and would obviously pay for it ourselves. Because our parents paid, we had a list of people who had to be invited. I don't regret having them there or anything, but if I was doing it now, I wouldn't invite most of them. I might even elope tbh! Our kids have savings etc, but even still, I'd feel wrong spending a lot on a wedding at this stage in life. I don't know how much help my kids might need in the future etc.

I actually prefer the second option OP, looks more romantic.

We spent a lot on ours, which is weird because we were very against spending loads of money ‘on just 1 day’, so we had a ‘wedding holiday’ and got married in St Lucia.

The wedding itself only cost about £3k but then we paid for our closest friends and family to come for the week. I don’t regret a penny, I’m actually sad that we didn’t take more people. But then we are in a pretty unique financial situation.

We got married last Sept, spent approx £10k all in I think - Registry office wedding with limited numbers, then a huge party at our local pub - they did the most amazing food for us, 2 x buffets over the day, my friend and sister made the cakes, the money was spent on the amazing food, photographer (also a friend but v professional so worth the ££), and hiring car racing simulators (DH is a petrol head) and bouncy castle for the kids - another friend was a Dj and did a fab set in the evening, another came with an oompah-type band (DH is v proud of his German father).
Meant we could invite all of our friends and families, and it was just an amazing and perfect day for us all.

Very informal, but very personal to us - perfect day all round.

Prob less than £10k all in actually, prob closer to £8k for the full day.

We spent about £500 including dress, suit, registry office and an afternoon tea for four.

I don't regret it but there's no way I'd have spent more anyway. I'd rather my money went on other things personally.

Helicopters weren’t some sort of flex - it’s not connected to a road so there aren’t many other transport options! All I can say is that it’s the private estate of a good friend and not a public wedding venue - our ceremony took place in their chapel of ease. The family like their privacy and don’t court attention so I’m not going to give a name or location, sorry.

If you love your venue then go with your heart. You sound as though you’ve used your head and all your other finances are in the right place: you can afford to go with your heart now. But look for savings where there’s sensible and where you don’t think you’ll actually notice.

I'd spend less as wouldn't marry him!

In reality we spent £5k and that included honeymoon and honeymoon suite. On top others paid for reception, flowers and bells to be rung. This was 1999.

It is so shortsighted to spend five figures on a glorified party.

Might be a case of compromises if you're uncertain about spending so much. We had our venue, menu and choice of clothes, but compromised on other things, ie basic wedding cake, flowers, someone I know drove me to wedding venue (this was one of the nicest things as we had a great chat on the way), no bridesmaids/matrons of honour).

I wish I'd spent more. My wedding was lovely but numbers were restricted and I would have loved to have booked a venue where we could have accommodated 30 more people for the whole day. I still regret only inviting some friends to the evening - I wish they had been there all day. There are some people I wish we'd invited who weren't included at all. I wish our friends had brought their kids (I told first-wave friends their kids were invited but that if they didn't want to bring them, we'd use the space to invite other people and none of them brought them - I expect I offended them, looking back, although no one said anything). I wish I'd offered my single cousin a plus one.

But I got divorced after three years so probably good we didn't spend too much.

I have run a venue and there is a reason why we charge more for weddings.
A wedding is usually double if not more the work for staff. The pre-visits (we then can end up with no job as they go somewhere else),the special requests, the number of emails beforehand, the decorations that cause more damage, the complicated lay outs and change of layouts (often 3 - the service, the meal, the evening do). More tables for things like the cake and the second buffet. Dealing with lots of external companies (sometimes three caterers (wedding breakfast, evening buffet cake), letting in things like ice-cream stalls or photo booths or chocolate fountains, a band and a DJ. The drunk people who start drinking all day, wedding carriages, expensive cars that need their own parking spot. Dealing with the stress from the bride and the groom and the PILs. It is so so so much more work.

I think that you get personal benefit from the first dozen or so people who you have with you on your wedding day, everything thereafter is you being generous enough to share your happiness with other people. It does cement or reinforce bonds for lots of us but you don't get to enjoy lots of time with every single person who is there.

We spent about £4k 20 years ago.
We had a mate DJ, another one took photos. My sister made the cake, my BIL grew the flowers on his allotment and we held it in mums friend garden under a marquee. We did buy all the booze (unusual around here!).

It was lovely. I would probably have now instead order a couple of massive curries and saved a £1k on catering and used it for a longer honeymoon.

I didn't pay for my wedding. My in laws and parents spent an obscene amount on our wedding to impress their friends. I still cringe thinking about it.

If I were you I'd start by thinking about what's really important to you - the number of guests? the dress? a glamorous venue? Try to think about what you'll regret missing out on and that might give you a good place to start with budgeting.

Also, be true to yourself! Are you someone who has always dreamed about your wedding? Do you throw birthday parties for yourself most years? I'm not really someone who had ever cared about these things, so I was never going to want a big wedding. But you might be different and you don't want to live with regrets.

Spent about $200 getting married in Vegas, however spent about £12k on the holiday overall traveling around California and that was completely worth it. I wouldn't swap that holiday for a wedding in a million years

My wedding was around £15k, in 2018, which at the time I felt was totally reasonable and still have no real regrets about spending.

However, now that I'm separated and in the process of divorcing, if I ever re-married I'd never spend that again. I don't believe having the wedding I wanted made my marriage any better, and for the right person I'd get married in a bin. The marriage wasn't about the wedding, and didn't match the lovely day we all had, if that makes sense.

On your first go, have the wedding of your dreams and ideally it's the only one, cynicism can come later 😂.