Get to an age where you think "Well the best has past?"

[Sooooootired01]

Or is it just me?!!
I'm 43 so my "best years" well and truly behind me!

@Sooooootired01 this is how I felt when I had depression, just no excitement about the future. Early 40’s and loving life now, maybe speak to your GP

@Seasidesavvy Thank you. I was prescribed meds for my anxiety when I was going through child custody battles but I've had to come to terms with that situation. Things are supposed to have moved on by now.
I don't want to take anything as to me it just feels like a sticking plaster - the reality is life is just a bit crap and is only going to get worse, not better.
I must try to feel grateful for what I have ❤️

I agree with this, it's about finding your purpose at different stages in life. I've been through youth, had lots of fun in my 20's, did the marriage, house and bringing up family part. Now separated, in a flat, new job/boyfriend, meet more when friends and have new interests. I'm enjoying this stage. Certainly not over! I'm 48.

@Timetocheersme I don't know, it feels over. Realistically I'm just waiting for things to get worse until I die.

You're 43. Assuming you're in decent health, if you want to make some money, make a plan and focus on it, and you can make it happen.

Aw op, on reading your replies back, I see that you've had a lot on your plate + you're not enjoying your job and feel skint. Life can be hard, I felt a bit like you a few years back but on reflection it was because I was unhappy in my marriage. If you hate the job can you look for something else? Easier said then fine, I know. I was a ta in primary school for a while and I felt mentally exhausted every day. It wasn't for me.

I really do not think this is about your age OP. I think you are just going through a hard time. Acknowledge that and try and find bits of joy where you can.

@NoisySnail I'm going through a "decent" time tbf, or at least I should feel that way?
Lost my sons half of the time when they were just 3 and 6 after an absuive marriage so surely this should be my best life now?!

Why is it going to get worse? I don’t understand the defeatism.

@cardibach I'm going to get older, my kids will leave permanently, my parents will die. List goes on...

@Sooooootired01 When you have had a really hard time you are just in survival mode. It is when things get better you have the "luxury" to feel the feelings from your hard time.
But you work through your feelings and it does get better.

I’m 59. All that has happened. Kids may leave permanently but you are still allowed to see them. Relationships with adult children are very enjoyable. Yes, it’s sad when parents die, but it’s the way of things…it needn’t make your life worse. I’m the happiest I’ve been for ages.

@Sooooootired01 it is tough parents and other people dying. That is what I am struggling with. But I wish I could go back to my early forties. It was when I was happiest.

@NoisySnail I should be over it by now; it went 50/50 ten years ago! They're 14 and 16 now (and I see them even less). I should be OK with it!

The feckers come back!! Elder two left, and came back. Eldest saving for a house deposit, late 20s. Second mid 20s is being fully funded by the bank of mum and dad for a course abroad. Youngest is in uni and has never left.

Be careful what you wish for lol!

@Sooooootired01 there is no should about it.
But maybe you need to start making plans for the future?

There's no reason not to believe that the best is yet to come. Your life is what you make it.

@Tel12 I still find joy. But I do not think the best is to come. Too many loved ones have died and more will die.

Your loved ones wouldn't want you to think like that.

As I said, my parents and other loved ones died upwards of 20 years ago, and I still miss them and wish they were here. I don't know how you define "the best". You can still go on to have good times in the future, when the grief subsides a little. I think my "best time" was when I was in uni, but I couldn't deal now with the lifestyle I had then!

I'm sceptical that there is a "best time" - there's always issues no matter what point you are at in your life.

Sure many good times lie behind you. My mum loved to entertain, and we had so very many happy gatherings of immediate and further out family. I miss those. That connection pretty much ended on her death. I hope to replicate that with the younger generation, just as she did.

Many good things still lie ahead of you. I take joy from my children and their achievements, and maybe in time grandchildren. I look forward to retirement and freedom! I suspect that could be the best time in my life and I just hope I have good health to enjoy it.

NoisySnail · Today 13:17
@MrsSkylerWhite you are a better person than I am.”

Maybe, maybe not. We just have different mindsets.
My start in life was terrible. When I reached adulthood and got away I had a choice. Positive or negative. I chose positive. It really has been that simple ever since.
Again, I am sorry for your losses.

NoisySnail · Yesterday 18:46
Not everyone in their sixties is running and being very active. And not everyone can.
I always feel in these threads that my life is a failure as I am not fit and healthy. And only those running marathons and lifting weights are valid.”

Unless you have a medical condition that dictates you can’t, maybe go for a walk tomorrow?. Walk 10 minutes around the block. If you feel ok, do it again the next day, whatever pace suits you. If you’re still feeling ok a week later, add another street or two and take it up to 15 minutes, easy as you like.

I did that 10 years ago. Couple of years later I entered and completed a walking marathon. I had been very unfit and overweight when I started.

Late 30s/early 40s were my 'best years'. The best age as you're still young looking but know so much more.

@MrsSkylerWhite I am sorry you had such a bad start in life. I am not wallowing in misery. I try and find joy and make the most of my life. But I find it hard that I now have no family outside my nuclear family, Everyone is dead from my small extended family. I just wish one of them was still alive.

@MrsSkylerWhite I do go out for walks. I have bad sciatica, seeing a physio for it next week. I can not think of anything more agonising than jogging or running.

I don't know about young looking. I think I look the best I have in years. I see photos of me in my 40s and 50s and cringe. I didn't always have a hairstyle that best suited me, and some of the clothes I wore then I wouldn't be seen dead in now!

I've lost a lot of weight in recent years naturally. As I've got older, I don't have the same appetite. At my heaviest (many years back) I was 14st. Now I am 9 and a half stone. I've got a hairstyle that suits me so much better. I have no grey hairs yet. I've found my sense of style, and people compliment me on it. With makeup on, I don't think I look my age. That's what I'm told anyway. I have two DDs who would soon tell me if I was dressing inappropriately etc!

I don't give a shit what people think about me any more though, and that is very liberating. Plus I am looking forward to being my own boss in retirement. I am very close to my children, who are all establishing themselves in their careers, and I have many friendships going back decades.