Get to an age where you think "Well the best has past?"

[Sooooootired01]

Or is it just me?!!
I'm 43 so my "best years" well and truly behind me!

Well you're 43 not 80... so if you want some money... make a plan to get some?

What?! I’m 43 this year and honestly every year I feel it’s getting better!

I’m finally in a career I love and we have a little more income now childcare days are over.

I look better than I ever have, yes I look older and I’m getting wrinkles and have grey hair. - but honestly, I think it looks fab. I’ve swapped youth for class and poise and experience, and it shows. (Starting HRT a year ago made all the difference to my feelings of self esteem)

And my kids! They are so clever and have so much potential, I cannot wait to see their journey into adulthood (maybe grandchildren?!).

My husband and I have settled into marriage and are true partners. In another year my youngest will be old enough to be left alone in the evening, then I cannot wait to have the freedom of cinema trips and pub quizzes whenever we want!

I am 100% certain the best is still to come.

I just wanted to add, that 3 years ago I didn’t have the career I love and I had far less money.

One day before a week before my 41st birthday something clicked in my brain and I knew I had to change something. I went online and on the off chance googled my dream job and it happened to be recruiting. I applied and interviewed the day before my birthday. I went into 41 very differently.

There’s no reason that can’t happen for anyone.

Last summer I was 2 stone overweight and I realised I had to sort it out as I didn’t want to go into middle age disadvantaging my health. I’m now at my goal weight and feel better than I have in years!

Those things only happened because I choose to effect a positive change. I honestly think that if you’re not happy, it’s not your age. You have options at any age. It’s your circumstances and (unlike age!) circumstances can change!

It’s tough with very young children, but they will get older and when they do you will still have So.Much.Time to achieve what you want. My advice would be to enjoy the stage you’re at with your lovely young family while dreaming and planning for your future. No reason you can’t achieve what you want in your 50s and 60s.

OP, you're saying that because you haven't hit your 50s yet. Your oestrogen goes out the window so you literally don't give scrap what anyone thinks of you. It's so freeing. I'm having the best sex of my entire life, earning more than I ever have and watching my children become their best selves. I can afford to travel where I want, I have a lovely home all to myself and a career that I love. More good stuff is around the corner.

NoisySnail · 23/04/2024 10:45
@MrsSkylerWhite maybe you have been luckily enough to avoid significant bereavement? I am about your age and my last two years has been full of bereavements. I am now the older generation in my family and have had friends die. It is hard”

Sorry for your losses. My husband has been at death’s door twice in the past 6 years because of a rare genetic condition that we live with. I had cancer in 2016. We’re both still here, alive and kicking. My MiL passed in March, my FIL 20 years past. My mother has dementia, not sure how long she will have, BIL has terminal cancer and we have lost several friends over the years. Not sure about my father, I haven’t seen him since I was 10 or so.

To us, though, the positives outweigh the negatives. We have healthy, happy adult children and a delightful grandchild and we embrace the thought of the future.

@TeeBee Nothing to do with hormones. You have a good life with a good career, family and money.

@MrsSkylerWhite you are a better person than I am.

@ringoffiire Haha if only it was that simple!!!

Massive defeatest attitide. At 43 I changed sectors and have become an expert in a completely new field, writing national policy.

At 46 I have just visited New York for the first time and had a ball.

I took a course earlier this year and learnt how to sew and made a cushion cover and a very servicable wash bag. I intend now to start making my own clothes.

At 55 Mr Monkey ran the fastest marathon time he has ever done and qualified for Boston marathon (a big deal in the running world).

@Ginmonkeyagain being in your forties is very different. Until menopause symptoms hit these were my best years.
Changing work sectors and retraining at 59 or 60 years old often is unachievable.

Yeah that may well be but the OP said she felt past it at 43.

Also it depends on the person. Our CEO is 60 and she joined last year from a completely different sector.

When I was 50, I was accepted into a degree course at a prestigious university. At 52 I fell properly in love for the very first time. At 58, a side hustle I started took off in a major way, such that I was able to retire very comfortably. A lot of trauma in my younger years though, so feel extremely blessed. Amazing things can happen later in life.

Fair point. 43 is very far from past it.

Your 60's are great. I started running, walking and lifting weights during lockdown and feel much stronger and healthier than ever.
I go away with friends now for 3 nights every year as my partner is disabled and doesn't really want to go on holiday, go to rugby matches with another friend. Life is what you make it.
I think you may need your hormone levels checking. You sound like I did when I was going into menopause. 🤗 x

Just turned 33 and feel the same but I know my outlook is coloured by a massive heartbreak so hopefully things will improve.

Not everyone in their sixties is running and being very active. And not everyone can.
I always feel in these threads that my life is a failure as I am not fit and healthy. And only those running marathons and lifting weights are valid.

I couldn't run in my teens, never mind my 60s! I'm fine with that! And I tried once doing weights when I first went to uni. I couldn't lift the damn thing and then someone broke it to me that they hadn't put the weights on yet lol!

Why ever not? I worked FT, started a Masters straight after returning to work after maternity leave, so I obviously had a baby, and I had two older children. My DH was also in final year of a degree, and we were both in uni on the same night for months.

It wasn't easy but I wanted to do it, and had deferred for a year because I was pregnant.

ETA I was also still breastfeeding!! And continued throughout my course!

@Runnerinthenight Do you know how many hours teachers work?!!

I’m 43 and was feeling like that til I started HRT…

Indeed I do, I have one in the house with me. Sibling a head teacher as is BIL. SIL is a retired teacher. My work is affiliated too.

I had my youngest when I was 40, and I had my elder children in various activities most nights of the week. Also had to do all school/childcare dropoffs and pickups as DH worked too far away. And I came out with a distinction!

You need to stop thinking about you can't do, and work on what you can do!

@Poppyg123 wow that all sounds brilliant, and shows it's never too late. Really uplifting

I'm in that age ballpark too and I consider you to be very lucky. I had a spate of huge bereavements coming on 20 years ago, including both parents in the space of months. I in turn was lucky, as two of my oldest friends were orphans at 19 and 21. My mum was only a couple of years older than I am now when she passed away. I do think sometimes, "what if I knew that was all the time I had left?" They got to see my children born but not grow up.

DH was 70 and I was 66 when we achieved our ambition of riding Route 66 on a Harley Davidson. It was amazing and worth all the years of saving. It's not over until it's over.