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Original poster

How many cousins have you got and do you see them/keep in touch?

230 replies

NiceDayatlast · 20/04/2024 12:19

I have seven cousins. I see one occasionally via another family member. Other than that, I seem to have lost touch with them apart from a Facebook happy birthday message! I used to enjoy big family get togethers but there haven’t been any in recent years. Do you see your cousins regularly?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 20/04/2024 23:22

66 first cousins. (Both parents came from large families.)
Many of us on one side keep in touch via FB or phone. It's informal. Some people post a lot, some not so much. Some are closer than others.
On the other side, we have a family FB group and also keep in touch via phone.

AmyandPhilipfan · 20/04/2024 23:22

I have 8 first cousins. Three on one side, 5 on the other. The three on one side I see once, occasionally twice, a year at a family get together. But we are quite friendly when we do meet. Two of them are quite active on Facebook so I see bits and pieces of their lives on there.

Of the other 5, three live in the same town as me but I rarely see them. Occasional family get togethers. Again, they do post on FB so I see bits of their lives on there. The other two live miles away and I never see them. One is active on FB so I see what she's doing but the other isn't so I have no clue. Those two are the oldest as well so I didn't really know them as a child either as they were teenagers when I was born.

My husband couldn't tell you how many cousins he has or what their names were. His dad comes from a Catholic family of multiple siblings but although my husband occasionally saw various aunties or uncles he only really remembers 3 cousins from his childhood and hasn't seen any of them for years. Every few months I see one of his cousins and chat with her and when I tell him he has no clue who I'm talking about.

My daughter has eleven cousins but some were adults when she was born so she's never had much to do with them but I'd like to think she will at least know who they are as she grows up! She also knows the children of 5 of my cousins and I hope she'll continue to have some kind of relationship with them as she grows up; particularly as 4 of them are very close in age to her. I didn't know any of the children of my parents' cousins when I was growing up. I do think FB has been useful in keeping my family relationships going when in previous generations they might have fallen by the wayside.

flippyflappy · 20/04/2024 23:24

0 - Both my parents were only children

OldTinHat · 20/04/2024 23:32

No cousins.

Linnet · 20/04/2024 23:39

On my dad's side I have 11 first cousins 7 of which I've never actually met. I keep in touch with one through Facebook.

None on my mum's side but I do have 12 second cousins on my mum's side I have met them all but only see two of them on a fairly regular basis.

Jesusmaryjosephandtheweedon · 20/04/2024 23:45

5 on mams side, 2 of them are stateside so I see them once a year, other 3 live near enough see them maybe 10 times a year. Around 20 on my dad's side, see some of them regularly but all at least once a year as we organise an end of summer party with bouncy castles for kids etc. Big on family here so we've kept up the relationships..some of them are like siblings, others I'd be less close to.

seaweedhead · 20/04/2024 23:47

15- I see 12 of them once or twice a year usually. It helps that we're quite close in age, there's only 12 years between the oldest and youngest.

BlueThursday · 20/04/2024 23:50

I’m one of 11 and we seem now only to see one another at funerals

ManagedMove · 20/04/2024 23:52

So many. A couple have died now but I think maybe 20 in total first cousins. There's big age ranges so I'm close in age to some of their children than them. I speak to two generally. One a lot, we spent a lot of time together growing up and talk at least every couple of weeks. The other sporadically, we were closish growing up but honestly I struggle to find things in common now. After that there's a few I see occasionally at family things but the rest generally not at all or only at funerals. They're honestly just strangers really.

Pallisers · 21/04/2024 00:29

BlueThursday · 20/04/2024 23:50

I’m one of 11 and we seem now only to see one another at funerals

we realised the same a few years back and started organising a cousins get together every couple of years. It is really nice.

honeyfox · 21/04/2024 00:36

I have sixteen all on the same side, two have died fairly young. I'm on friendly terms with about four I would see regularly enough. Three live overseas and we're not really in touch. Another is special needs, I would see him as often as I can. Another few are quite a bit older and I don't see them often. One I don't know at all.

Ironically enough because my mother was an only child and a lot older than most of her cousins, I am a lot closer to some of the second cousins on her side than to my own first cousins.

BlueThursday · 21/04/2024 00:41

Pallisers · 21/04/2024 00:29

we realised the same a few years back and started organising a cousins get together every couple of years. It is really nice.

Show quote history

We are so scattered about it would be hard but it’s definitely worth reaching out to some of them at least to try catch up.

Highfivemum · 21/04/2024 00:42

I literally have no idea. I am scared to go on a DNA site as I may have hundreds.
have managed without any so far so in no rush to find any. I do kind of envy all those huge families where everyone lives close and gets on.

KatPurrson · 21/04/2024 00:45

Four. They are all on my dads side and all
his family dropped out of my life when my parent’s divorced, so I never see them.

I met a couple of them when I was little but he other two were born after my parent’s split up.

garlictwist · 21/04/2024 00:57

One. She lives an hour away and is ten
Years older than me. See her once a year at my parents house for an annual meet up. She's perfectly pleasant and we make small talk but she's more of an acquaintance than she is family.

Charlie2121 · 21/04/2024 01:11

5 I think. I’ve not met any of them for at least 40 years. I may have seen them when I was a toddler but can’t recall that. I don’t even know their names or where they live. I assume some of them have had children but again no idea who they are either. We’re not a close family.

Charliecatpaws · 21/04/2024 01:15

MakeTeaNotWar · 20/04/2024 12:42

64 first cousins. Dad is 1 of 14, Mum is 1 of 8. I live in a different country so see them rarely.

Wow! That's a hell of a big family

madamepresident · 21/04/2024 01:57

6 on my mums side - were extremely close when younger but now rarely see each other due to life etc and living far away.

I miss it as they were like my brothers and sister s growing up and we were all pretty close on age.
I have barely no relationship with my (step) dad's family.

Nat6999 · 21/04/2024 01:57

6 cousins, four I haven't seen for years, my uncle took his life in 1974 & they live in Somerset. Of the other two, one died in 2017 & the other one since my dad died has ghosted us. My brother & I are the youngest of our generation, my dad's sister & brothers were 17, 15 & 11 years older than him, his youngest brother was killed during the war flying with bomber command age 20. My mum is an only child.

BellsaRinging · 21/04/2024 02:55
  1. We're not really close unfortunately. 4 were brought up abroad (3 in Aus and 1 in the US). so we didn't see each other more than a couple of times growing up. Later in life I met up with 2 of the Aus ones, who are near my age ans worked here for a bit. I also worked in Aus and we get on well, bit are not what I describe as close given distance and time
The other four are based in the UK and Europe and I'm close to one and see her a couple of times a year. They're all much younger though (think 15-20 years younger, due to big sibling age gaps in my parents' generation, so we never had that close cousin relationship that I would have liked.
sashh · 21/04/2024 05:20

On my mum's side 4, two live in Australia and I'm more in touch with them than the ones that live in the same town as my dad.

On my dad's side 5. I hardly see them but we are in facebook contact and went to their own children's christenings and naming ceremonies. There's a big age gap though, I'm 16 years older than the eldest on my dad's side.

At my first primary school I was in the same class as my second cousin and another 2nd cousin was in the same year.

When we moved my mother basically cut us of from the one in the same year and his brother and sisters, the one from the same class my mum kept in touch with her parents and sister.

VenetiaHallisWellPosh · 21/04/2024 07:28

I have 7. I live a long way from all of them. I have their addresses and send a Christmas card each year but that's about it. My parents are more interested in them than I am.

NoDramas · 21/04/2024 09:22

This thread prompted me to do a head count and use all my fingers multiple times!

46 first cousins with 23 on each side. I'm one of the older ones and although I lived in a different country when we were young, I would say I loved spending time with my cousins as a child when we visited my parents' home towns.

I was an adult when a lot of the younger ones were born.

I have zero active relationship with any of them now. I don't do Facebook etc. I don't live where they live. I don't feel sad about that. There's no animosity. It is what it is. Perfectly cordial at any family gatherings in recent years. Perhaps this says more about me...

rickyrickygrimes · 21/04/2024 09:26

Amazing to read of the huge numbers of cousins. My children have 1 cousin! We are both from 2-sibling families in the last couple of generation. My SIL has one child, my sister has none.

Perfectpots · 21/04/2024 10:42

rickyrickygrimes · 21/04/2024 09:26

Amazing to read of the huge numbers of cousins. My children have 1 cousin! We are both from 2-sibling families in the last couple of generation. My SIL has one child, my sister has none.

Am also amazed, as mentioned i have 3,
DH has 3

Our DCs have 2