Do you have an office/spare room?

[BurstingSeams]

If you have an extra bedroom that you have turned into an office, do you still have people over to stay?

We're looking at two flats, both smaller than where we are now, both new-build.
Flat 1 - 142 square metres, looks on paper to be a better quality, three bedrooms
Flat 2 - 155 square metres, looks to be not as good quality e.g. floors as the other, four bedrooms

We're currently in a 3 bed, one of the massive plus points for DH being that there was no spare room so we couldn't have guests his IL's to stay. However, DH can now wfh and his office is set up in DS's bedroom. I think we should go for space over quality/location (views are better although shopping etc will not be).

If you have an extra bedroom that is an office, do you have it set up to let relatives stay or is it acceptable to have it only as an office and not make room for guests?

When you say prioritise location what do you include in that? View or amenities?

Flat 1- nice view from the balcony looking over city, facing residential road
10 minutes walk up a steep hill from bus stop (MIL worried she'll have issues in the future) bus 4x per hour,
corner shop 5 mins walk away,
large supermarket 30 mins walk away, 30 min bus back + 10 min walk.

Flat 2 - not such nice view as lower down, balcony facing the road, residential area 20mph speed limit, not a through road,
max 5 minutes from bus 4x per hour
10 min walk to train station,
corner shop at station,
large super market 15 min walk

Are they the same train, supermarket etc? Doesn't sound like there's much in it in terms of location then, although the longer trip from the supermarket would be wearing (I'm soft as we have a car though).

For me, location is about being a stroll to a naice town, being able to walk to get milk or go out for dinner etc. Also a short walk to school. But everyone's priorities are different.

I have a 'multi-function' room. It has built in wardrobes with a dressing table in one corner - this has been turned into my home office space. Ditched the bed - now have a sofa bed for occasional guests - I have fold out picnic tables if a bedside table is needed. Floor space is now a yoga studio. TV / monitor screen on the wall which I connect my laptop to.

My ironing board lives in there as well.

I just roll up the yoga mat and roll out the sofa bed if I have guests.

I agree with the pp who said utilise the room for your day to day life rather than around an occasional guest staying. If circumstances change in the future, re-assess it then.

"(MIL worried she'll have issues in the future)"

I'd also like to add that this is such a massive non-consideration for you. In the future? So you should revolve your living circumstances around what your MIL might need in the future? Nah, sod that.

So, I suggested a second sofa (sofa bed) and DH is not happy. He would want it only as an office with a comfy chair in there. I think that means his objection is potentially having the space for guests to stay rather than preferring flat 1. That's ok I think. If DC want friends over they can have a blow up or camping mattress on the floor.

@DatingDinosaur I don't think it is really? To live somewhere that MIL wouldn't be able to walk to (especially as they have offered to act as guarantor for us) in a few years seems short-sighted.

@CelesteCunningham yes, the same supermarket. Both have more or less the same journey time to school, although flat 2 has more options as they could also take the train. Flat 1 would need bus into town (18mins) for restaurants. Flat 2 has one in the village and a 11 min bus ride or 3 min train into town.

Mine is just an office. I live by most of my family but if friends came to stay I would give them one of the kids bedrooms/they would share with me/kids would share with me/sofa.

The problem is you WANT (or feel obliged to facilitate) your parents to stay and he doesn't. That can't be resolved by arguing about things like nice big chairs and how many other people have sofabeds.

If either of you end up pushing for a 3 bed just to avoid this argument, you'd be absolutely shooting yourselves in the foot. Try to keep some perspective. A separate office is a Good Thing, especially as little ones grow into teens.

We have a Murphy / wall bed in ours, which is also my office. It made a lot more sense than having a double bed taking up most of the floorspace all the time.

It totally depends on your lifestyle. Our social lives and our friends are very important to us, we have people over for dinner and drinks a lot which usually ends in them staying over because it’s suddenly gotten to 3am. If you want to actively dissuade overnight guests then “no space” is a non-arguable excuse.

Our 4th bedroom is my permanent office that doubles as guest room when needed. it’s big enough for a large desk and decent sofa bed.

i would say prioritise having an extra space when you have teens, for being able to go and watch tv or whatever.
we have a large kitchen diner that’s separate to the living room, which is great for when you don’t want to be around gaming, tv etc.

more space is always a good thing.

If either of you end up pushing for a 3 bed just to avoid this argument, you'd be absolutely shooting yourselves in the foot.
I think DH is hiding this reasoning behind "the view".

honestly, I always feel like we have no space. I can't use the computer in the evening because the main one is in DC's bedroom and DH doesn't want the light on in the living area after dinner. I can only see problems arising from this as the DC get older, stay up later and want to watch tv or do stuff in the evenings. (I can't watch tv unless it's something DH wants to watch). Neither can I sit and read a book if it's not on my e-reader.

He sounds exceptionally rigid. I live with an autistic husband and child and they are both more accommodating than this.

Things like having light if you need to use a computer, and sometimes having your choice of TV, shouldn't be things you either have to fight for or live without.

I wonder if factoring in a second "living" space would be wise especially as the children get bigger. Could be just a TV in the corner of your bedroom and some big cushions on the bed, or a corner of the office.

I would go for the one with the spare room and make it an office space with sofa bed if you can. Day to day is far more important than odd guest. If your parent needs a better bed then you can always do a kids room swap for when they come, so visiting parent goes in kids room and kid goes on sofa bed in the office for a few days.

Please tell me this is because you don't have enough room/s at the moment and not because your OH is a controlling arse.

Doesn't want the light on after dinner?

Can't watch TV unless it's something he wants to watch?

Anything else he gets the last word on? What flat to buy maybe?

Hopefully I've read your post wrong but if I haven't, you've got bigger problems than what flat to buy.

We converted part of the hallway into a study once it became clear dh was going to be full time wfh.

For him it has the downside that when we go in or out, we walk past him.
For me it has the disadvantage that, as it's too small for a door, we can all hear him talking on the team calls. What is it about Teams calls that makes him talk three times louder than normal?
The disadvantage for him is occasionally I reply to his loud questions...

But it's a million times better than when he was first home and working in the kitchen-diner.

@DatingDinosaur yes, because we literally have one large room (hall, living, dining and kitchen) and then the bedrooms and bathroom.