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Original poster

Do you have a best friend?

97 replies

mermaidin · 19/04/2024 08:40

Just turned 39 three days ago I feel it gave me some wisdom and a mature outlook 🤣.
My mum says it's to do with the zodiac, I'm not convinced 🤨 but it would be nice if it's true!
Anyway, it made me think...
I don't really have a 'best friend'. I know that's a juvenile term but my siblings all have one. The one who's basically part of the family and whom we all love. But I don't have such a person.
I have friend sure, but not on the same level.
I wish I did. I'd love to. My life has meant a lot of moving around so friends come and go. Some I'm closer with of course. But I don't have 'the one' bestie. I thought I did a long time ago but life happened and we're not close anymore.
I'm slightly jealous of my sisters and their 'best friends', who are essentially closer to them than I am as they spend more time with them.
It's fine, I love their friends too, well apart from one but anyway! It made me wonder..
Do most people have a 'best friend'?

OP posts:
Whatsinthiscrumble · 19/04/2024 08:41

No I don’t

ShirleyPhallus · 19/04/2024 08:42

I’m 40 and have 2 “best friends” and 2 very close friends (all from the same group)

female friendship is very special and important IMO

but I am sure you’ll get lots of responses from people saying their “little family” is all the need. Missing out hugely imo

spacehoppercommuter · 19/04/2024 08:43

Yes. I have other friends too but my best friend is like a sister to me. She's the person I would call if everything went to shit and I know she'd always be there no matter what.

PaperStarred · 19/04/2024 08:44

No, and I always think it’s a sign of a slightly juvenile personality in those who do.

Windsofchange99 · 19/04/2024 08:46

I have a close friend but shes 13 years younger than me, so half friend, half little sister type set up, plus she lives down South and I'm in the Midlands. I have a few friends but not a best friend as such. I know what you mean OP. I wish I had that best friend too 😔

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 19/04/2024 08:48

I have 4,I'm very fortunate.

EventuallyDecluttered · 19/04/2024 08:51

I have a lot of close friends but none of them that I could single out as a best friend. Some of mine still fall into the category of close even though I might not see them or even speak to them for weeks or months at a time but they'd always be there for me and I can tell them anything and obviously that is reciprocated. Some of them do have a best friend. I sometimes wish I did, but am pretty OK with how things are.

Moonlitwalk · 19/04/2024 08:53

but I am sure you’ll get lots of responses from people saying their “little family” is all the need. Missing out hugely imo

Agree. I have a best friend- she is awesome and my life is hugely enriched with her in it

BringMeSunshineAllDayLong · 19/04/2024 08:54

I have some close friends but not one I am especially close to. I haven't since I was about 13!

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 19/04/2024 08:59

I have two best friends I guess because we were best friends at school and the title sticks. We meet a few times a year now and WhatsApp intermittently. Although we were inseparable in to our thirties. We all know each other's family/ grew up in each other's homes etc.

Ihateboris · 19/04/2024 09:04

Nope, in fact I don't really have any close friends. I don't like to get too close to people as I'm a bit of a loner. I much prefer my own company or that of my dogs. People can be draining and needy.

Devilsmommy · 19/04/2024 09:06

No best friend and no other friends either. So you're doing better than me 😉

TheGreatestSecretAgentInTheWorld · 19/04/2024 09:09

I have two best friends, but they don’t fit the descriptions described above. We holiday together, have meals, and do all that stuff. I’m not the kind of person to bare my soul to anyone, though. And neither are they. They aren’t “like sisters” but I value their friendship immensely. One of them was a friend at university, and the other had a child at nursery with my child.

fancyfrogs · 19/04/2024 09:12

I'm incredibly lucky that I have 5. I could go to each one of them with absolutely anything and adore them all equally. I don't know many others who are lucky enough to have the same close group setup, we met in school so a long time nowSmile

BouleDeSuif · 19/04/2024 09:13

I have two. They're both fabulous humans and I love them.

LaWench · 19/04/2024 09:14

I do. We met at baby group 15 yrs ago, she's amazing. We are completely opposite personalities, she is woo, religious, generous and loves to chat to strangers. I am a cynical, sarcastic introvert but weirdly it works.

2chocolateoranges · 19/04/2024 09:16

I have 2 best friends, one a mum friend who I met when our now 22 yr olds were weeks old and another who used to be my boss but we get on so well, I know I could phone either at any time and they would be there for me and vice versa,

SleepingStandingUp · 19/04/2024 09:21

Not to your definition but I have five friends from high school, so thirty years of friendship. We're there for the big stuff and the small stuff albeit on Messenger and meet up when we can which is increasingly annually. But we'd all be there for each other when we needed it, in that way and familiarity and comfort they're like family but maybe cousins not sisters.

I have a bestie from work years who I was inseparable with in our single twenties but it's harder now. I'd still drop anything for her if she needed .e but we have five kids between us, two with additional needs. Our friendship transcends needing to be in touch constantly.

I think the "like sisters, part of the family" stuff only generally happens with friendships predating adulthood

AmaryllisChorus · 19/04/2024 09:27

I don't. I used to think I wanted one but in reality, I think I'd find it suffocating. Always having to keep track of one other person's wants and needs on top of family. I have a hunch that we attract the levels of friendship we are genuinely comfortable with.

Twice, when I had really big problems I turned to a friend who I have always been on polite but warm terms with - known each other for years but never ever met for a coffee and gossip. I've never even been to her house in twenty years! But she was the one who understood. At other times, if I've needed emergency childcare, I've turned to very different friends and at times, people I don't know that well chose to turn to me. I love having a diverse friendship group, not one bestie. Are you sure it's what you want?

Augustus40 · 19/04/2024 09:32

I prefer a variety of female friends. I would find a bestie a bit too claustrophobic and intense.

Highfivemum · 19/04/2024 09:32

I really dislike the term best friend at my age (45). It reminds me of school and the little clicks. I have a few really close friends but I don’t regret to them as best. I recall about ten years ago when all the BFF came into play and a friend who I at the time considered to be my best friend said to me she was so looking forward to going on holiday with her best friend ( our other friend) and even though there was no malice in it it hit me like a thump in the chest and I was back at school again. Now I just have good friends.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 19/04/2024 09:33

Whatsinthiscrumble · 19/04/2024 08:41

No I don’t

Ditto, other than family and never had sine leaving junior school

Dearg · 19/04/2024 09:38

I have several close friends, who are welcomed into our home whenever they drop by, without calling first ( very unMN) , could stay over, bring pets etc.
But there are probably only 2 to whom I would unburden my soul without feeling judged. Sadly I no longer live close to them.

Other than that, my dog is a good keeper of secrets ( that may seem frivolous, but actually, telling him everything on a walk really does lift the gloom. Pretty sure his only judgement is food- based).

DirtyCheeseBurger · 19/04/2024 09:40

I have collected a few. One from school, a couple from university and one from the baby days. I also have a good group locally who I see most weeks. I adore them and my life would be immeasurably poorer without them.

Thequeenofwishfulthinking · 19/04/2024 09:42

I have three best friends that I have known for many years - one since age 11.

I have other close friends and many other acquaintances.

I had a very good friend who sadly passed away years ago.

I have been a single parent for many of my adult years and friendships have been prioritised after my children and close family.

I think it’s important to have people you can trust around you whether they are family, friends or a partner.