Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Do you have a best friend?

97 replies

mermaidin · 19/04/2024 08:40

Just turned 39 three days ago I feel it gave me some wisdom and a mature outlook 🤣.
My mum says it's to do with the zodiac, I'm not convinced 🤨 but it would be nice if it's true!
Anyway, it made me think...
I don't really have a 'best friend'. I know that's a juvenile term but my siblings all have one. The one who's basically part of the family and whom we all love. But I don't have such a person.
I have friend sure, but not on the same level.
I wish I did. I'd love to. My life has meant a lot of moving around so friends come and go. Some I'm closer with of course. But I don't have 'the one' bestie. I thought I did a long time ago but life happened and we're not close anymore.
I'm slightly jealous of my sisters and their 'best friends', who are essentially closer to them than I am as they spend more time with them.
It's fine, I love their friends too, well apart from one but anyway! It made me wonder..
Do most people have a 'best friend'?

OP posts:

CautiousOptimist · 19/04/2024 19:57

@ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea
Yes, fair point.

My closest friend referred to me as her 'best friend' in her speech at her wedding when I was her maid of honour it occurs to me.

We've known each other over 20 years and have helped each other through a lot.
So I suppose I do have one, I just never call her that as the term just isn't for me.

For those who do have a 'best friend', how did you decide that's what you were? If you've been best friends since you were children, I totally understand. But if you met your best friend as an adult, I can't imagine that conversation. Did you discuss it one day or just suddenly start calling each other that? Genuinely curious!

AmaryllisChorus · 19/04/2024 20:29

SleepingStandingUp · 19/04/2024 09:44

Does it have to be either or? It isn't one friend to the exclusion of all else

Show quote history

No it doesn't, that's true. But it can be harder to have a wide group of friends if there is someone in your life 24/7. I'd feel obliged to include them in everything.

Cuckoochanel80 · 19/04/2024 20:32

One good friend, real friends are hard to find.

MummyMamaMe · 19/04/2024 21:30

I have a friend who I have known since we were 10/11 years old 😊 We probably only see each other around 2-6 times a year as she’s a very busy person but it’s never awkward when we do eventually see each other!! We have never fallen out and I don’t think we ever will. If anything happens in my life and I need her I know that she will make the time to see me or have a long phone call about life and I always feel better after talking to her 🤗 So it’s not the type of friendship where we see each other/talk all the time but I know that she will be there for me and that is all that really matters in the end isn’t it?

jobsjkfo · 19/04/2024 21:35

I've been with my husband since I was a teenager so he's been my best friend really, I know that's not what you mean, but we've moved around a lot together, we don't live where we grew up and as such I've never really gotten very close to another person since because I've always had him. He's awesome though so I'm fine with that!

Jokl · 19/04/2024 21:38

I do. I have a group of four wonderful women who I’ve been very close friends with for a very long time but one of them is my ‘best friend’. We’ve been friends for 25 years, since the start of primary school, and she’s my go-to, still. We were each other’s maid of honour, we’re godmother and ‘auntie’ to each other’s children, all that jazz. They’re all special to me, and I adore them all, but she’s my one.

SaltySeaBird · 19/04/2024 21:40

I did, and the friendship meant so much to me. Just recently something has changed and I can’t figure out what. We’ve been best friends about 15 years but the last 6 months there is a rift and tension. I tried to broach it and it made things worse. We know every element of each others lives and the only significant thing is we’ve both changed jobs (we’ve never worked together, just both happen to have changed jobs this year).

I'm struggling with the change in our friendship and don’t want to get this close to anyone again as it’s worse than a relationship break up.

HoobleDooble · 19/04/2024 21:44

I did but she died suddenly and unexpectedly a few years ago. I have a few really close friends but nobody will replace her.

WWLD · 19/04/2024 21:57

Two (although I don't use the term 'best friends'). Known them for 26 years and we'd do anything for each other. I also have 2-3 other very good friends I could call in the middle of the night (and vice versa). I'm a very lucky person.

SnobblyBobbly · 19/04/2024 22:00

I always did but recently realised it's actually just an 'oldest' friend as in reality I'm probably closer to my next door neighbour these days 😆

Vettrianofan · 19/04/2024 22:40

Ihateboris · 19/04/2024 09:04

Nope, in fact I don't really have any close friends. I don't like to get too close to people as I'm a bit of a loner. I much prefer my own company or that of my dogs. People can be draining and needy.

Feel that way too. People can be very draining.

Femme2804 · 19/04/2024 23:04

I never had many friends but i always had bestfriends in every stage of my life. I’m asian and i have bestfriend back home. Even though i live in the UK for 10 years now but my bestfriend back home still videocall me everyday without fail. And whenever i go back home we spend time together still like we used to. Nothing change.

i also have bestfriend in the UK. My first friend here and now we’ve been bestfriend for 10 years. We also call each other every morning. Because we both mums and she live in london while i’m in cambridge so we meet maybe once or twice a month. But during school holiday we have sleep over for 3-5 days either in my house or her with our children aswell.

karki · 19/04/2024 23:11

No, most adults I know don't have a best friend either, my sisters don't. I think I only had a best friend in primary and secondary school, so I don't really see it as an adult thing. My friendships are fluid and tend to change according to my circumstances, eg where I'm working or the activities I do, and if I stop that then I don't tend to maintain much contact beyond superficial social media. But I'm comfortable with my own company and prioritise my family so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I often read the drama threads on here about friendship conflicts and neediness and I feel quite liberated from all of that really.

Bellybootcut · 19/04/2024 23:22

I absolutely love my best friend. She's a bit older than me and she's smart, lovely, happy and was the most popular person in a huge office we both used to work in. I'm much shyer, socially awkward and introverted but we totally hit it off and do consider ourselves as sisters. I think the absolute world of her.

Westfacing · 20/04/2024 07:02

No discussion or decision was made, it's just how things develop, and best friend is not a label in the way that say Maid of Honour would be - if I were to introduce her to someone I would just say this is my friend Sally. She has friends that she sees whom I've never met, and vice versa.

The OP asked do you have a best friend and some of us just answered yes!

Vettrianofan · 20/04/2024 07:46

ringoffiire · 19/04/2024 17:08

I kind of agree with this to be honest.

I don't have anyone I would call my 'best friend'... but I don't really have any friends who have other 'best friends' either.

In my experience mature adults don't really single each other out/ label each other as 'best friends', they just show it through their actions and are there for each other when needed.

I have plenty of friends I can call on and vice versa, and I'm very happy with that.

Show quote history

This is a great way of summing it up. Actions speak louder than words. Being there when it counts speaks volumes.

Blackcats7 · 20/04/2024 07:50

No, I have a few good friends but not a best friend. Well except for my cat. She is the person I am closest to.
My ex husband was my best friend, or so I thought.

hottchocolatte · 20/04/2024 07:55

No I don't and while I think it must be lovely to have a friend who is there no matter what and has been since you were a child I also think it's a bit unrealistic as people change as they get older. I have found friends come and go depending on what is happening in my life at the time. I have friends from work (including friends I no longer work with and are now genuine friends), friends since having children, friends where I live. I believe it is more common to have friends who come into your life when you are in the same place (both single, both have children and that sort of thing) and also that we have friends for different things. The friend you call when you need to chat might not be the same friend you go to the cinema with or the friend you have a play date with (if you have children) or go running with...

kerstina · 20/04/2024 08:51

My Mum was my best friend ,she has severe dementia. I miss her terribly.
My DH is my best friend .He has been there for me for the last 30 years.

philosoppee · 20/04/2024 09:14

I have two (one I see lots of, one I talk to on the phone lots as she's further away) plus my sister who is absolutely a best friend.
Nothing juvenile about it, you don't need to proclaim it if you think that's babyish but having a close relationship with a particular person is not juvenile in the least. You're missing a trick if you think that!

MsSquiz · 20/04/2024 09:21

I have 2 people who I consider my "best friends":

My best friend from school- we've been friends for 27 years and we've been through everything together. There were times where we didn't often see or speak to each other due to physical distance between us, but it's an unspoken rule that if we ever needed each other, we're there, no question.

My Ex SIL - currently divorcing DH's brother, mother to our nephews and niece. We text every day and see each other weekly, with and without the children. She's more like a sister.

newyearsresolurion · 20/04/2024 09:25

No I don't. I have 2 'good friends ' that's it. The rest are acquaintances

Flip

1 2 3 4