CF allotment thief part 3: The ‘plot’ thickens and auditions begin for the west end musical

[YaMuvva]

Just creating one now before t’other fills up. Will post updates when I have them

Last thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5048540-cf-allotment-thief-part-2-the-battle-of-barbara-and-the-beansprouts?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Me too!

I'm in W Yorkshire so am defo up for the allotment party. I'll bring some tinnies cos I'm classy like that.

but OF COURSE the one day I am charging the bloody doorbell is the one day I could do with seeing the footage

This is why we have two batteries for our Ring doorbell.

Twentieth of May - ordering my 🍿

So did you go past the allotment?!

Stopped by to the allotment on my way back from the supermarket. There was a few people with camp chairs sitting talking so I didn’t want to go in sans Bruce Bogtrotter cake so I kept away. I could only just see from the pavement but I’m pretty sure Babs was there in a camp chair. It was hard to tell as it’s a bit off the pavement. I could just see the back of a Camilla bouffant.

I feel like that’s a really obvious solution that I’ve never thought of before 🤣

She was gathering her troops.

Yes I thought I bet she’s gathered round slagging us off and misrepresenting the situation

You just know she was telling everyone her plight! I’m interested to see how the other allotment characters behave with you and your DP.

My prediction is they’re secretly relieved. She must have a strong personality.

They’re all going to defecate in our lovely plot are they

And when they learn the real situation, they'll be digging all their shit up in remorse 😂

Yeah, DH and I bitched about the Ring 'down time' for a few months before one of us said "I know, let's get another battery!!!" and the other said "Brilliant idea!!" and a solution was born 🤣

Yep, Babs is gather her supporters and planning a sit in on 20 May. Too bad all they'll end up with is squashed produce and veggie stains on the seats of their trousers.

As long as they're vegans, it will be good for the soil.

In 'My Fair Lady' there is a line "Next week on the 20th of May I proclaim Liza Doolitle Day - all the people will celebrate the glory of you, and whatever you wish and want I gladly will do" and this could be parodied nicely. It goes on to put Enry Iggins in front of a firing squad!

It's the horses in the garden paddock threads this reminds me of.

"Hey Babs!!! You're roots are showing!!

Also..... I think Babs has officially lost the plot

If they do, don't worry, human poo is v. good fertiliser... After all, back in the day, there were barges that removed the human excrement from London and transported it down the Thames to Kent where it was used to fertilise "the Garden of England" crops... xxx

Bake that cake OP.

Go back next saturday at the same sort of time, armed with cake. Big ole grin plastered on and pull up a chair, sit down, introduce yourself and offer cake around.

Faced with unwavering friendliness and cake, the average brit will find it impossible to be rude or unpleasant. They will take the cake (the bait!) and then be stuck, you can't fight friendly.. or cake... You can commiserate with Babs, its SUCH a shame that Sally Seller screwed her over, how terrible... and come up smelling of roses (and cake).

@YaMuvva I think she's more than slagging you off she's plotting her next move. Remember she told you if you want your own land you have to fight her for it. If she isn't out by your deadline remove her stuff and leave it at her door. Although I would keep a close eye on your allotment when your DH starts work on it because I wouldn't be the least surprised if she becomes vindictive and damages the plot and whatever your DH decides to grow for taking away her sanctuary. If any of the people at the allotment say anything ask them if they have room for Babs I bet the reply is "but that's mine" reply "exactly' point made.

...removed the human excrement from London and transported it down the Thames to Kent where it was used to fertilise "the Garden of England" crops...

Nigel Farage is from Kent. This might explain why he's full of shit.

Can we secretly plot a recording device in the allotment?

The great stink of 1858. I watched a tv programme recently about this. It was nauseatingly good!

Have you considered telling the local gossip the truth? Like the local shopkeeper, post office worker. There’s always someone who is known as the local grapevine. A conversation with DP in the local shop in front of that person might just be good pr.

“You know DH, I feel so sorry for Babs, how can Sally sleep at night knowing she led Babs to thinking she had given her the plot but then sold it out from under her and didn’t even have the guts to tell her. Sally just lied to us, the solicitors, but mostly to her friend of ten years Babs. What a terrible betrayal for Babs, to be lied to by her friend, no wonder she’s so upset.”