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Original poster

Crashed my car feel suicidal

75 replies

fsgsuduforbbfkrk · 09/04/2024 20:51

36 weeks pregnant was trying to reverse out of a car park as too narrow to turn and crashed into a brand new bmw. Was on the way to mau for reduced movements and pains so think I’ve just been so stressed I’ve somehow not seen it even though o was actually looking in my mirror to reverse. My mum left her number because I didn’t have a pen and needed to get to mau and is dealing with it because Ive asked if she can just let me know what the driver says as I’m stressed enough about high risk pregnancy to add this to the pile but I’ve come home from mau and just feel like I can’t cope. I’ve already been speaking with consultants saying I’ve been feeling suicidal and have had zero help other than them saying they’ll write a letter to my gp but I feel pushed to the edge with this I just can’t see past it. My excess is £470 which I don’t even remember signing tbh I don’t know why I’d ever have such a high excess but obviously I have. Driver phoned and was apparently nice but said it’s a new car so she’ll be getting it fixed and when I looked at paint damage costs for bmws it’s about £300 which I just don’t have - I lost my job before I qualified for smp so my income is basically pennies. I’m so depressed. Either I’ll have to shell out hundreds cash to avoid insurance or she goes through insurance and my premium will sky rocket and then I probably can’t afford to run my car anymore. I know it’s my own fault but I genuinely didn’t see the car. Just can’t see past this anymore I feel so sad at how shit I am at everything

OP posts:
Overthebow · 09/04/2024 20:57

Sorry op you don’t need this stress now. I would go through the insurance, let them handle it all and worry about it later. At 36 weeks you don’t need to be dealing with it yourself now.

CherrySocks · 09/04/2024 21:01

It was an accident and nobody was injured.
Chat to your mum about it.
You are seeing it out of proportion.

InferiorDesign · 09/04/2024 21:04

Let it go - it was an accident, your insurance will cover it, and I bet your insurance premium won’t skyrocket as much as you think.

Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well.

coldcallerbaiter · 09/04/2024 21:07

I have reversed in to multiple cars and walls, the ppl were in their cars too, which was way worse than empty, way way worse. I felt bad, as I was embarrassed and felt silly as I did not see them, you can have a blind spot. Forget it, once the Insurance has sorted it, you will not even think about it again.

Hellocatshome · 09/04/2024 21:08

It was an accident no one was hurt. Let the insurance sort it out thats what its there for. As for feeling suicidal before this. Dont wait for your consultant to write to your GP. Go to the GP tomorrow tell them you feel suicidal (write it down and pass the receptionist the note if you dont want to say it in front of others) stay there until the GP sees you.

Hols24 · 09/04/2024 21:09

Don't panic, these things happen. Sorry to hear how you've been feeling.

TheHouse · 09/04/2024 21:09

@coldcallerbaiter

Multiple? Jesus. I mean you just sound careless to be honest. There’s no need to me hitting into multiple cars or walls unless you have some serious special awareness difficulties in which case suggests maybe you shouldn’t be on the road.

MajorFaff · 09/04/2024 21:10

Hellocatshome · 09/04/2024 21:08

It was an accident no one was hurt. Let the insurance sort it out thats what its there for. As for feeling suicidal before this. Dont wait for your consultant to write to your GP. Go to the GP tomorrow tell them you feel suicidal (write it down and pass the receptionist the note if you dont want to say it in front of others) stay there until the GP sees you.

I think this is excellent advice. Please remember that your mental health is exceptionally vulnerable when you are pregnant. You don't have to be feeling like this, please get straight to your GP. If they can't help you for whatever reason then ask for them to tell you where you can get support, immediately.

SleepingisanArt · 09/04/2024 21:15

OP - you need to tell your insurers about the accident (it's usually a requirement of the policy). Then leave them to deal with it.

Please contact your GP urgently to discuss how you are feeling. Your Mum is probably really worried about you too so it's for her as well as you (and the baby).

madmumofteens · 09/04/2024 21:18

Oh OP as long as you and the baby are ok it's just a car and can be fixed look after yourself 💐

Shiningstarr · 09/04/2024 21:19

You say it was a brand new BMW? You will have no choice but to go through the insurance as the repair costs will be a lot. Was there a dent aswell as paint damage?

I have a brand new BMW and it honestly costs so much when anything needs doing. So I would just try and get the money together for your excess. Can your mum help you?

Hope you're ok, honestly not trying to make you feel worse , just trying to be factual.

coldcallerbaiter · 09/04/2024 21:20

@TheHouse
3 cars backed in to and 1 wall, I scraped the side of the car twice in narrow areas too. They all had circumstances like trying to avoid something or blind spot, but still my fault. This is over 30 years. I am actually a good driver, driven all over the world too, no accidents. Reversing minor dents are my speciality.

AnitaLoos · 09/04/2024 21:20

Oh lovely. This is very sad to read. It’s just a car. Nobody died. Everyone makes mistakes especially under stress. It sounds as if you’ve got a lot going on. A difficult pregnancy, losing your job. It’s not easy. Do you have a partner? Please talk to your GP and your midwife asap about your feelings. There is help available.

MNHQ
ClaraMumsnet · 09/04/2024 21:21

We're so sorry you're feeling this way, OP.

We can see that you've already been given good advice and support from other Mumsnetters, but we just wanted to add some links to organisations which may be able to give you some help in real life too.

First of all, here's a link to our Mental Health resources. There are many organisations listed which can provide you with some support. If you're feeling very low, you can contact the Samaritans, any time, by emailing [email protected] or by calling 116 123.

You can also get help from a text service called Shout 85258. Its trained volunteers are available all hours of the day and night to listen and support you to get to a calmer and safe place. It's a free, confidential, anonymous service for anyone in the UK and it won’t appear on your phone bill.

And finally, here's a link to Mind's pages on Tips for everyday living and How to improve your mental wellbeing.

Please do think of reaching out to your consultants again and letting them know you're feeling worse. If you feel like you might hurt yourself, it's really important to get urgent help by calling 999 or going to A&E.

Sending good wishes, OP.
We really hope you're okay.

Mental Health Webguide | Mumsnet

A guide to information and services related to mental health support. Find reliable organisations and support services here.

https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health

biscuitnut · 09/04/2024 21:27

Oh op, nearly every driver has a prang at some point or another. I know I have!! This is why we have car insurance. Just report it and let it go. You are massively magnifying this into a catastrophe when it really isn't. It happens everyday. Nobody was hurt and accidents happen. Please stop beating yourself up x

Oooeeeoooaa · 09/04/2024 21:30

TheHouse · 09/04/2024 21:09

@coldcallerbaiter

Multiple? Jesus. I mean you just sound careless to be honest. There’s no need to me hitting into multiple cars or walls unless you have some serious special awareness difficulties in which case suggests maybe you shouldn’t be on the road.

Wow.

Whattodowithit88 · 09/04/2024 21:34

Your tail spinning so much you can’t see the wood through the trees, buts that ok, it’s understandable your feeling emotional and upset about it, might you really don’t need too. It’s the height of everything at the moment for you but the reality is this was just an accident, these things happen and although it’s going to hurt the purse you will just mange money wise somehow. It probably just feels worse that it is because your being too hard on yourself.

TheHouse · 09/04/2024 21:37

@Oooeeeoooaa

I wasn’t responding to the OP. It was to the poster who said they had reversed multiple times into cars with people in them.

gamerchick · 09/04/2024 21:37

coldcallerbaiter · 09/04/2024 21:20

@TheHouse
3 cars backed in to and 1 wall, I scraped the side of the car twice in narrow areas too. They all had circumstances like trying to avoid something or blind spot, but still my fault. This is over 30 years. I am actually a good driver, driven all over the world too, no accidents. Reversing minor dents are my speciality.

Dude. Get a car with beepers man. I'm sure that's what saved me on occasion.

OP breathe, this isn't the end of the world. Let it go through insurance.

You probably should shop around for something with not such a high excess though.

I'm sorry you're so stressed..I hope you find some peace soon.

rwalker · 09/04/2024 21:41

Generally if you don’t claim for your car but they just claim for there’s you don’t pay an excess

PragmaticWench · 09/04/2024 21:41

Please call your community midwife team tomorrow, or the mau, and tell them that you're having extreme thoughts and need urgent support. If you don't feel able then please ask your Mum to try and access the midwife mental health support team. They are there for you.

Please also don't worry about a car, or insurance, none of that matters as much as you and your baby.

stayathomer · 09/04/2024 21:43

Op when I was a similar stage of being pregnant with my first I hit a car and traffic light. All that matters is you and your baby. Your mum is sorting it and the insurance should be able to help and give you breathing space, especially if they know your situation (pregnant). For now ring one of your friends or talk to your mum/relative for a chat and get some rest. Take care x

Beebumble2 · 09/04/2024 22:15

Sorry you’re having such a difficult time.
I also hit a new car when i was pregnant. I hit it in the back at traffic lights, the driver was very angry!
That was a long time ago. In time this incident will pale into insignificance and you will have a beautiful baby. Take care of yourself.

Piscesmumma1978 · 09/04/2024 22:16

I did this op. I must have been around 36 weeks and reversed out of a parking space without checking my mirrors. I just didn’t check. I reversed into a car and it needed fixing.

Dp arranged all of the insurance and that was that. You’ll soon feel better about it, the shock is the worst I think.

I religiously check my mirrors now. It’s 10 years after!

You and baby are fine which is all that matters xx

Mischance · 09/04/2024 22:22

Remember - no-one was hurt and you have your Mum taking on all the practical stuff.

The world is still turning and it is a small thing in the great scheme of things. You will look back on all this one day and smile - it will be a tale to tell at dinner.

Take a deep breath and get a good night's sleep. Insurance companies deal with this sort of thing all the time. You can only see the worst case scenario at the moment but will feel better when it is all sorted out, which it will be.

Concentrate on your pregnancy and staying well. That is what is important.

Take care.