Crashed my car feel suicidal

[fsgsuduforbbfkrk]

36 weeks pregnant was trying to reverse out of a car park as too narrow to turn and crashed into a brand new bmw. Was on the way to mau for reduced movements and pains so think I’ve just been so stressed I’ve somehow not seen it even though o was actually looking in my mirror to reverse. My mum left her number because I didn’t have a pen and needed to get to mau and is dealing with it because Ive asked if she can just let me know what the driver says as I’m stressed enough about high risk pregnancy to add this to the pile but I’ve come home from mau and just feel like I can’t cope. I’ve already been speaking with consultants saying I’ve been feeling suicidal and have had zero help other than them saying they’ll write a letter to my gp but I feel pushed to the edge with this I just can’t see past it. My excess is £470 which I don’t even remember signing tbh I don’t know why I’d ever have such a high excess but obviously I have. Driver phoned and was apparently nice but said it’s a new car so she’ll be getting it fixed and when I looked at paint damage costs for bmws it’s about £300 which I just don’t have - I lost my job before I qualified for smp so my income is basically pennies. I’m so depressed. Either I’ll have to shell out hundreds cash to avoid insurance or she goes through insurance and my premium will sky rocket and then I probably can’t afford to run my car anymore. I know it’s my own fault but I genuinely didn’t see the car. Just can’t see past this anymore I feel so sad at how shit I am at everything

If the BMW driver can get a quote for repair, ask them is there anyway you could pay it off weekly/monthly and set up a standing order? They might be okay with it if you explain your hardship...

My friend hit a deer and damaged his own car and his premium shot up (not sure what would have happened in your exact scenario).

@coldcallerbaiter it’s not just you. I have parking pillar blindness. I’m always grazing the side of my car, multiple body shop paint jobs.🥴

Let your insurance deal with it OP, it won’t be that bad.
Speak to your midwife about how you are feeling.

I mean, as much as the post wasn’t sugar-coated they’re not wrong.
Once or twice fair enough, but if they’re bouncing the car off all sorts the bus may be a safer option!

We have a neighbour who is constantly clipping cars in the street and it’s such an inconvenience to everyone else.

hey you know, its not the end of the world. Yes its come at a difficult time but thats what your insurance is for. It could’ve happened to anyone. At least everyone involved is unharmed. Could your mum/other family help you out with the excess in the meantime? X

Just remember cars can be replaced, people can’t 💐 best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy x

This is really small stuff and you can't let it get you down.Thinking back to my pregnancies I remember loosing flexibility to the extent where driving seemed quite difficult. You're bound to have been anxious about your appointment so I wouldn't worry about it unnecessarily.

I did a similar thing, 35 weeks pregnant. I authorised my Mum to speak to my insurance company on my behalf due to my circumstances and she sorted everything. Could this be an option?

Please get urgent support as detailed in other posts. Sometimes things seem overwhelming, especially with anxiety in pregnancy, but it will pass and life will take on a new focus soon enough with a beautiful baby.

I was under the impression that you only need to pay the access if YOU want to make a claim for damage to your car .
If the other lady wants to claim from your insurance for the damage to her car that is covered by the third party element of your insurance and therefore you need not worry about paying an access .
If you are pregnant and then likely to be on maternity leave for a year , you may not be driving much anyway for a while so don't worry about a high premium. If you have no claims protection again that will mean there will be minimal effect on your premium next year unless you have had multiple claims in the last 5 years .

Honestly it's not worth stressing over it . I have been driving for 14 years and never had a single claim against me and my premium is till pretty high but you just cough it up and make it work .
Get seen for the suicidal feelings, if you can't get an appointment at the GP, see your midwife . If you get nowhere with them , you can always present at A/E ( they have seen it all before don't worry ).

Good luck and lots of hugs . Just think how time will fly and in a few weeks you will have your little bundle of joy alsleep in your arms . It's the best feeling ever , I promise .

Is your baby ok? That's all that matters. Things like cars are replaceable you and your baby are not.

@WildBear If the BMW driver can get a quote for repair, ask them is there anyway you could pay it off weekly/monthly and set up a standing order? They might be okay with it if you explain your hardship

Why wouldn’t they just go through insurance? They will have insurance and that’s what it’s for. No one in their right mind would go running around trying to get it fixed themselves and make payment plans with someone. It’s simple. They use insurance, and their insurer contacts OP to see who her insurer is and they just sort it out insurer to insurer and OP pays the excess if necessary. That’s the way insurance works.

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned as only skimmed the comments- YOU DON'T PAY ANY EXCESS IF YOU DON'T REPORT ANY DAMAGE ON YOUR OWN CAR. PLEASE JUST CONTACT THE INSURANCE COMPANY AND THEY WILL FIX HER CAR AND YOU PAY NOTHING.
Please don't worry x

It sounds like your stress levels are high and your hormones are all over the place 😔 I’m sorry everything looks so bleak at the moment. I promise it will get better. ❤️‍🩹

I'm sorry you're so stressed ❤it's just a car. Do you have a partner who could help with paying? Or could you mum loan you the money?

What??!!!

Absolutely no way!!! So the BMW owner has to stump up the cost for repairs in the meantime? How do you know they can afford that?? Because they have a BMW?

I have a newish one and there's no way that would be happening!!!!!!

Oh OP, these things seem huge at the time but in the grand scheme of things they're not important.

Have you checked that you are receiving everything that you are entitled to financially? I'm guessing you're not with the Dad? If so make sure you get a claim in for maintenance once baby arrives.

Look after yourself OP, I've been there with the high risk pregnancies but you're nearly at the finish line will your lovely baby x

Haven’t actually read responses yet but she’s made a claim. So I’m going to have to take out credit for the excess and probably lose my car because insurance will go up won’t it. Dont understand why she couldn’t have got a quote for it to be fixed outside of insurance it was literally a scratch of paint. Seriously just want to end it all

I don’t even know. I’m having daily ctgs and weekly scans because of slowed down growth and reduced movements and I have gestational diabetes which is up and down all the time. I’m so fed up and sad. This is my last baby and I really wanted to just feel happy and relaxed and now 2 weeks before my section I have this to deal with. I feel so sad

It’s advisable to go through insurance as the car will get checked for structural damage too which can’t always be seen. It’s a new car so they will want it done properly. They may also get a hire car with their insurance whilst they wouldn’t if they did it without going through insurance. However, insurance is now dealing with it so please stop getting stressed about it now and let them sort it. You have bigger things to concentrate on at the moment.

I understand. My dream pregnancy nothing went right every thing was what I didn't want but she was fine. I'm keeping you and your baby in my prayers. You are not alone.

Just take three deep breaths. Apparently proven to reduce stress hormones in your body.

You are worrying about things that might not happen. We all do it, no criticism. Phone your insurance company and they will explain if you have to pay excess, I don't think you will. Your insurance may not go up or not noticeable amount, everyone seems to be going up at the moment. I've spent years thinking it was points on your licence and claims mattered and recently competing quotes with friends or really does seem like a magic 8 ball is basis of calculation.

Your local area probably/might have a crisis number you can call. Try googling your borough plus mental health crisis/spa. If you are still in hospital ask for a referral to perinatal mental health.

How was the assessment, is everything ok?

@fsgsuduforbbfkrk you normally only have to pay your excess if you're making a claim for damage to your own car.

Check your policy but this should be the same for you.

That’s good atleast about excess but I’ve just looked at compare the market to see how much it would be with a claim on and looks like an extra £130 per month minimum and it already wasn’t cheap. I’m going to have no car and 3 kids and I don’t even have a pram that I can get on a bus with because I have a double. Can’t stop crying

Hi OP

I would give your insurance a call and talk it through with them, see if you need to pay any excess (I don't think you do if it's for another car, I didn't have to in a similar case)

It seems really stressful right now and I don't down play how you feel at all, something similar happened to me when my daughter was a newborn (although the other party was also at fault)
I genuinely felt like I couldn't focus on anything, was so down and depressed feeling and worrying so much about it all

Ended up being an extremely drawn out process, this was over a year and a half ago and it's still not noted as a fault fully on my insurance yet (it's my insurance company dealing with it)

I think what I'm trying to say is that although it feels horrendous now, the feeling will pass. You'll still be able to keep the car - have a look on comparison sites and see how much it goes up with a fault
Chances are you don't pay the excess unless claiming for your own car so try not stress about that.

As others have said, hand it over to your insurance and go back to focussing on yourself and your baby as best you can

You only pay excess for your car to be repaired....let your insurance company sort out the other car

It was an accident, this is what insurance is for just let them deal with it. The price increase for renewals might not be as bad as you think if you shop around, I have "written off " a car before and it didn't make much difference to my premium