What’s your view on swearing at/infront of your DC’s?

[Hellohihola]

Today I witnessed a mother shouting at her young child (2/3) “sit down or you will not get any f fruitshoot” whilst loading her shopping into her car.

I actually asked her to mind her language as I was walking with my two young DC’s but.. is this common?

Are parents ok with swearing at/infront of their DC’s? A few people I know do.. am I the minority?!

not a judgement thread! Just would like to hear opinions!

I've never sworn AT my children but will confess to them learning some fruity language if I've stubbed my toe, cut my finger or been cut up by some plonker when driving. Now they both know swear words aren't clever or acceptable (especially in front of grandma or teachers) but allowed in extreme circumstances 13 yo does swear on xbox but I allow it if it's quiet. Swearing has been around since dot so I don't ban it entirely. 9 yo isn't allowed although I've caught him muttered 'bloody bugger' under his breath a few times :)

No, I never sweat AT anyone. I personally just think it's a nice way to talk to someone, adult or child. I occasionally swear in adult company, but I try to never do it in front of my kids (have slipped up once or twice in the car!). I have told my 8 year old all the 'main' swear words though. They asked and I trust them not to actually use them.

I don’t swear at my child.

i have no problem swearing lightly in front of my child.

I have also never cared if she uses swear words. I just explain that some people think some words are bad and if she uses those words at school or in certain very formal situations it will cause problems. We talked about how giving that much power to words is a bit silly, but it’s the social convention so we have to go along with it.

No I don’t swear at or in front of and our older kids know not to swear in front of me, I think it’s horrible.

DH never swears, I probably swear once on five years when expressing something I'm frustrated over and never in front of DD
DD is now 23 and never heard her swear.

I don’t swear at my dc but do swear in front of them, which I need to try harder not to do. I think you should have kept out of it though, she was probably having a shit day and the last thing she needed was judgement from you. A sympathetic smile as you walked past surely would have been better.

I swear in front of my children and have no issue with swearing done in a way that isn't at anyone eg saying fuck when you break something is fine, telling someone to fuck off is not.
I don't swear at my DC.

I swear a fair amount to adults and on chat. More in a banter type of way. I hate it in front of kids. It's really disgusting and I absolutely judge parents for it. When I hear a child swear I assume it's because their parents swear in front of them.

I've never sworn in front of my children and certainly not at them.

I remember stubbing my toe and going "sh.. sh... sugarplum!". I made a conscious effort to refrain from swearing in front of DD so lots of sugarplums and fiddlesticks about.

DD (who also had limited speech and speech delay) : mummy 'early 'aid shit!".

Really kid? That's the word you decide to say perfectly?

I kinda gave up after that. I do not swear AT her though and never will.

I have never sworn at ours, but our son proudly corrected his primary school teacher to make sure she knew they’re called fucking pigeons, not just pigeons. Where we now live swearing isn’t a taboo, shit for example is an everyday word that everyone uses. I swear like a sailor in Urdu, but no one can understand us, so it doesn’t matter.

Teens here now but again, yes to swearing in front of them (less or never when they were younger though) but never swearing at them or at another person in anger.

We've talked about how it's possible to be nice to someone whilst using swear words and also possible to be perfectly horrible to someone using regular words and that it's the intent and tone which often matters more than the actual words used.

Oh, but also that they should never swear in front of Grandma unless they want to see her actually explode. 😆

I don't like swearing round my child and don't go around swearing at people, especially children. But I have had moments under extreme pressure, dealing with some really trying behaviour (SEN) and a significant amount of stresses in my own life and have lost it. I have myself said ' for the love of god, please just do the ( expletive )homework ' .

When I hear things like this I wonder, was that just a mum at the end of her rope that day. It may not be and that could be a typical daily interaction. But there are decent, kind, loving respectful mum's - like me- who sometimes, yes it's very rare, but sometimes we are just on the edge and struggling and we slip a little. My experience has made me so so much more understanding to this type of situation now. When my friends eye roll or bitch at this scenario, I'm the first to challenge them tbh. Most mums just love examples like this as it makes them feel better about their parenting.

Sorry OP, bit of a tangent. I tryy best in day to day life not to swear around child mainly as it's hypocritical to expect do as I say not as I do.

I don't really swear. I find it quite aggressive. I've got teens now. They don't ever swear in my presence, but I'm sure they do out of earshot.
However, I recently took my daughter out on a driving lesson and we've had a few near misses. We've both sworn then. Mostly sssshhhhhiiiiiittttttt!!!!

I don't swear at the littles. I swear in their presence occasionally and they know it's not ok as they are like walking swear jars "No mummy, we don't say that."

Eldest DS (teen) however, didn't tell me he'd snuck an Easter egg to bed, fallen asleep and melted it all over himself and the sheets. I was taking his sheets out of his laundry basket and as I flung it over my arm, noticed the thick brown crusty substance touching my bare skin.

I may or may not have shouted "omigod omigod what the fucking FUCK, aaaaargh it's on my arm, DS get in here now, what the fuck have you done?!!!"

Fucking pigeons 🤣🤣 amazing

It's a slippery slope. I had a friend who swore all the time. Had a child and swore at the child all the time. Child is now an older teen, is taller than her and swears right back at her. The language they use at each other is disgusting. I distanced myself from her years ago, so my DC did not think that this was normal behaviour.

Since having my DCs I’ve worked so hard to stop swearing that in a work meeting the other day I referred to something as ‘flipping awful’ and my manager reminded me my preschoolers weren’t there 😂

That said I don’t think you should have policed that woman’s swearing. They’ll hear far worse on the playground 😞

I have never sworn at my dd. I don't ever swear at anyone.

I have always been very chilled about swearing in front of my dd though. They're just words.

Understand where you are coming from, but she was aggressive and my DC’s were literally right there so I did not appreciate hearing what she said to her young DD in that manner. I said in the exact works “can you please mind your language infront of my children?” Wouldn’t say I was being harsh.. just a mother trying to protect her DC’s ears.

I usually would ignore it but I just couldn’t with how aggressive she was unfortunately! Felt really sad for her child

We are a sweary family, well me, DH and DD, DS is catching up 😄but we never swore in front of them when they were little...and did our best until they went to senior school, when they declared they had heard it all, so we stopped trying so hard.

We all have manners though and there's a time and a place.

Have never sworn AT them though, that's so different.

We do swear sometime, never sworn at my younger DC. Have to confess I called my older son 17 a dick the other day. No regrets

Thanks everyone! Just want to add I wasn’t judging this mum (I do understand we have bad days) but as a mother in a Tesco car park I felt I needed to politely ask her to mind her language please! So there was no rudeness from me (eye rolling etc) and yeah she probably felt awful after but I just don’t agree with being aggressive and swearing over fruitshoot!

im not perfect, by any stretch. I get cross and I raise my voice but I’m just totally against swearing AT children in the way I heard today.

interesting opinions though! Thanks for the replies :)

He will totally come to you one day with this when he has kids and say, I get it!! lol