What’s your view on swearing at/infront of your DC’s?

[Hellohihola]

Today I witnessed a mother shouting at her young child (2/3) “sit down or you will not get any f fruitshoot” whilst loading her shopping into her car.

I actually asked her to mind her language as I was walking with my two young DC’s but.. is this common?

Are parents ok with swearing at/infront of their DC’s? A few people I know do.. am I the minority?!

not a judgement thread! Just would like to hear opinions!

I try not to, but I have to admit when my 11yo suddenly slammed on the brakes of their bike and I rode into the back of them, they did learn the new phrase “Jesus fucking Christ” 🫣

hilarious 😂 you can’t help but laugh!

I will never ever swear at my child. But he's definitely heard me say 'fuck sake' or similar a few times and maybe even repeated it 🤐 so now I try and control it.

I was in the swimming pool changing room once with my daughter when I heard a mother unleash the worst tirade of foulmouthed abuse AT her child that I've ever heard. My cousins were all farmworkers and their conversations were liberally peppered with bad language. However, she put them to shame.

I was starting a new teaching job the following week - imagine my horror when said woman was introduced as my new TA.

I never would, and don't like others doing it. I tell DP off on the rare occassion he swears in front of dd. A friend was strangely impressed when their young child (3 I think) used 'fucking' in a sentence to their grandmother. I really didn't get it.

I have sworn in front of my children. It’s not something I’m proud of and I apologized to the children. It’s never acceptable to use bad language in the presence of children. It happens but it’s not ok.

Their father swears with emphasis and the children repeat him. He does it to get a reaction from me so I correct the children calmly, force them to write 10 lines and 10 alternative adjectives they could use to describe their frustration as a consequence.

I don’t swear in front of or at my young children. Mainly as I think it is horrible to hear children swearing and mine are like sponges so I know would copy me.

I swear a lot, but never at or in front of children.

My swear filter weakened in the lockdowns when they were 7 & 9. They have a strong foundation in expressing themselves without swearing and we have a strong rule about not swearing at people.

I quickly learned at secondary school that I had to upgrade my vocabulary as twee responses like "buzz off" were a golden ticket to get aggro and therefore haven't been too concerned about exposure to swearing in the junior school years, but avoided exposure to swearing when they were young and learning the basics of communication.

What the hell is wrong with both of you?

By asking her to mind her language you were not only inviting a confrontation, you were drawing attention to something your kids most likely would have otherwise forgotten 2 minutes later. So awful as she sounds I really wouldn’t do that again should you find yourself in a similar situation. But as for your actual question, I wouldn’t swear AT anyone, I don’t use swear words in conversation with DC but I will swear whilst talking to another adult even if they’re within earshot, or myself if it’s a real FFS that really hurt moment.

I swear infront of my children now they are older. I wouldn't swear in front of other people's children because I am well aware people usually don't share my opinion. My children don't usually swear badly unless telling me something that is relevant to use the word, daughter likes to say "bloody" a fair bit.

I just can't bring myself to be bothered. It would be an entirely different story if I heard one of them calling someone fat, ugly, stupid more so than them saying "fucks sake" when they drop something. They are able to identify when and with whom it is appropriate. They are great kids.

I think swearing In front of children is not good at all but swearing AT children is horrendous/despicable.

I have overheard parents swear at their kids and I feel so sorry for the children.

No, I hate to hear people swear in front of their DCs. I swear like a trooper but never in front of my (almost adult) children. I would never have sworn in front of my parents either, they would have been mortified.

This is so abusive if real. What the hell?

I feel sorry for children who are brought up listening to parents swearing. They learn to use those words then get told off for using them at school.

Yes exactly. I don’t really understand how parents justify it if they swear around their kids and then their kids swear. They can’t exactly tell them off as they’re doing it themselves!? I think it’s unfair on the kids.

I try hard not to swear but do admit it does sometimes slip out (driving usually)

I did occasionally swear around mine when they were younger, usually from complete frustration. Happy to say they are all grown up now and I rarely hear them swear. DD ( 18 years ) did come down stairs on Xmas morning in an offensive t-shirt and i made her remove it immediately !

Oh I remember a veeeeery lengthy conversation with DD about "bloody". I eventually agreed that if her finger is actually bleeding yes she can say "bloody finger".

I always thought I would never swear in front of my DC, but I have, it’s usually if I’ve dropped something etc, I’ve never sworn at them though. My eldest wrote a list of Lenten promises for us all and decided mine should be not to swear (I honestly didn’t realise I swore enough for that!) Day 2 and she scribbled my promise off the list because I’d broken it! 😳 . It’s something I need to actively stop myself doing, I feel like I hit my 40s and turned into a different person.
Neither of my DC swear themselves.

This exactly. We had lots of children who swore in school then the parents were horrified and claimed they'd never heard that language at home.

My favourite was a little boy whose mother claimed the bad language he was using must have been picked up at school. Chatting to him one day he said "Do you know Mrs X, my mum's real name is Sarah but I call her Swearah because she always does it at home" Turned out his father was a road rage swearer too so the poor child was hearing it everywhere.

@PaperDoIIs and @Hungrycaterpillarsmummy

yes it’s horribly abusive. I’m in Texas so I have to be extremely careful with how I navigate cutting his access back. My children are older at 8-12 and the abuse from him got worse post divorce.

I did the coparent therapy which fell apart because he kept lying so now I have it that we parallel parent. I finally have the children in therapy and various problematic things are being shared like their therapist managed to get it out of them that daddy told them not to tell me or their therapist anything that happens in his home, just mommy’s home.

I do not swear in front of my children as a regular thing. The last time I swore was when I nearly killed us all because a driver decided to emergency brake in the middle of the highway doing 80mph. I managed to swerve and avoid 6 cars that ended up in a nasty accident. I screamed SHIiiiiiiT while managed to not kill everyone while crossing 4 lanes of traffic to avoid the cars in the accident and the other cars on the road who were also trying to avoid driving into the accident.

My children’s bad language has bothered me a lot. I’m a liberal conservative and believe in good manners. Last year my youngest child told me ‘Daddy’s right, you are a motherfucker’. I was so shocked by the bad language and it confirmed that he was badmouthing me to the children.

I don’t really understand how parents justify it if they swear around their kids and then their kids swear. They can’t exactly tell them off as they’re doing it themselves!? I think it’s unfair on the kids.

I just wouldn't tell my children off for swearing in the way I do. I never swear at people, and I don't swear as part of conversation (as in, I don't swear casually as part of a sentence "it was fucking annoying" etc), but I might say shit if I break something, for example. I also don't swear in situations where it's not ok. So, as long as my children follow those same rules (basically don't swear at or about people, and don't swear out of the house), I wouldn't tell them off because it just doesn't bother me.

Reading some of these replies, it's very clear why some of the children in the school I work in will call me a cunt/whore/motherfucker/dickhead, you name it, for having the cheek to ask for something like homework.