On holiday and having a nightmare with food

[FoodAnxiety]

Is anyone else like this? I feel like a freak, I feel like I'm spoiling everyone else's holiday.

I have anxiety around food and vomiting bugs, so I'm super-careful about where we eat, checking TripAdvisor ratings, etc. and being easily put off restaurants.

So we're in Italy - should be easy enough to find nice restaurants here?? But I'm so hesitant to eat out in case we get food poisoning, and I'm really fussy about where we eat.

Help me - how can I deal with this so I can enjoy holidays and not affect my family?

At the moment I feel so useless, so stupid that I just wonder what the point of me is.

Sorry Op, that does sound like hard work.

Just don't eat meat and eat at reputable restaurants.

Chips are very very hard to get food poisoning from. As is bread. And wine Stick to those maybe? Sorry this must be tough for you.

If it reassures you, I live in Italy, the risk of food poisoning is very low. In fact in the 20+ years I've lived here I've never had it nor heard of anyone I know of having it and that includes eating raw meat, raw eggs and fish often. Hygiene standards are very high here. Where are you in Italy?

I do that already. Thank you.

Did you not predict this is how you would be?

Sounds hard work tbh.

I don’t know if this is a problem that can be solved in the next hour honestly. I’d be very cross if I was missing out on lunches and nice dinners on holiday because of you being too fussy. Can’t you just order the veggie option or order some chips and let the family eat?

I don’t think a normal reaction is to wonder ‘what is the point of me’, sounds like you have something else going on OP.

Eat veggie, far less likely to get food poisoning if no meat involved. Shouldn't be too hard in Italy, lots of lovely pasta.

Remind yourself that you're not in a developing country or anywhere where food hygiene practices are particularly poor, you're about as likely to get food poisoning in Italy as you would be in the UK.

You will be fine in Italy. Their food is super fresh and made to order. If you are really worried, stick to pasta and pizza, they make the best in the world so you can’t really go wrong. Also their pastries are lovely and gelato.

We're in Rome. That's good to know, thank you.

I feel so guilty for ruining the dc's holiday. I had been looking for restaurants this eve and dh was no use, so when we went out I was already stressed. I ended up coming back to our room and left them to it.

As a PP says, it’s not something that is going to be solved while you’re on holiday. Have you tried CBT for your anxiety around food? If not then that’s something you can look into when you get home. I’m not sure what to suggest in the meantime though, can they eat out without you?

You aren't restricting what everyone else wants to order are you?

Let them have what they want.... you can nibble on a breadstick.

It’s not entirely unreasonable to worry about food hygiene. I think most people try not to think about it whereas once you start to fixate on it, then you can’t stop those sickly anxious feelings.

I’d stick to bread and oil, pasta with vegetable sauces, soup and garlic bread. Hot/fresh food - it’s hard to imagine how they could really go wrong.

Failing that could you fill up on fruit, salad and bread bought from a local supermarket so that in restaurants you don’t need to eat much at all?

DD has food anxiety and I know how hard it is to control. Can you stock up on snacks to have in the hotel and just have a drink (or nothing) when with the family?

I think thats ok to be honest, that is a way of managing this for this holiday

You can look into therapy or medication if you're not doing that already bu the reality is it might be something that you always struggle with and perhaps just having an agreement that after looking at say, 3 restaurants, that if you're still not happy with, the agreement is, ok mum goes back to the hotel/apartment and everyone else sticks with the 3rd restaurant

There is nothing worse than aimlessly wandering around looking at this place, going on to the next place, then the next when you're hungry and times getting on, plus all the issues about have they got a table anyway, is there a queue etc etc

So just accept that there is a way to manage this and then look to how you all agree long term to manage it.

You must know rationally that the chances of getting food poisoning from say some bread and a veggie pasta dish, from a restaurant with decent online reviews, in a country with excellent food standards like Italy is pretty much non existent. It’s the irrational that’s the problem and unfortunately no one can fix this for you here. Sounds really tough though, I feel for you.

This is very bad, you were so stressed you came back, instead of just eating some basics?

Please look into getting some support from your GP, and signing up to help groups when you get home, because this is really damaging, also damaging your children and that's not good parenting.

I just wanted everything to be perfect. there should be lots of nice restaurants here but it's hard to find one that has veggie options that ds will eat. I just wanted things to be perfect.

Holidays are stressful because h is a bit useless - I end up doing all the translating, speaking etc. as he doesn't speak Italian, I also do the organising, booking tickets and taxis, looking for restaurants etc.

Thank you. Good idea. We have been doing that, but I wanted some nice meals out too.

Also emetophobic here and Italy is actually one of my favourite places to visit in terms of food safety. Lots of carb heavy meals that are cooked through so there's not much to worry about. It's virtually impossible to get food poisoning from a pizza margherita or a tomato pasta.

If you're in a place that does primi, secondi etc then you can get a grilled veg side dish for a main. Ciabatta bread, butter, salami are also very safe options. (Salami is technically raw but has a much lower water content compared to ham and and extremely high salt content that effectively preserves it).

Depending on the restaurant, bruschetta is another safe option. If you see lots of salads and fresh veg leaving the kitchen then chances are their tomatoes are freshly ordered and prepared every day.

That's sensible, @soupfiend! Good plan.

I think things were easier before TripAdvisor, when we just chose restaurants that looked nice and were busy!

What is your criteria for a ‘nice meal out’? Have none of the nearby restaurants met your criteria so far?

Everyone spoke English in Rome as I recall?

Can you not just order pasta pomodoro (tomato sauce)? That tastes good, is simple, and is vegetarian/vegan. A margarita pizza could also work, or a tomato salad with some bread and olives. I have never heard of anyone getting ill from those dishes. The quality of food in Italy is so much better than here. Everything is fresher and tastes better. They take so much better care and pride in their cuisine than we do, so you’re probably less likely to get poisoned there than at home.

Yes, I know that, but thanks for pointing it out. I feel bad enough already.

🙋‍♀️ I once went on holiday and ate nothing but chips and pizza for nearly 2 weeks, it was horrible. I had cognitive behavioural therapy a few years ago though that helped me a lot, but I am still cautious. For example, I will avoid ordering what I consider 'high risk foods' in restaurants, but I a much better than I was 10 years ago.

You know the fear is irrational, but it doesnt stop you from feeling anxious. For now whilst you are there, do your research and pick restaurants based on good reviews, are they busy, does it look clean? Stick to safer options like veg based pizza, tomato based veggie pastas which are unlikely to give you food poisoning. You are also in Italy ,a well developed country where food hygiene is likely to be on par with the UK and the risk about the same.

When you are back home, I'd seriously consider booking a GP appointment to discuss a referral for CBT.