On holiday and having a nightmare with food

[FoodAnxiety]

Is anyone else like this? I feel like a freak, I feel like I'm spoiling everyone else's holiday.

I have anxiety around food and vomiting bugs, so I'm super-careful about where we eat, checking TripAdvisor ratings, etc. and being easily put off restaurants.

So we're in Italy - should be easy enough to find nice restaurants here?? But I'm so hesitant to eat out in case we get food poisoning, and I'm really fussy about where we eat.

Help me - how can I deal with this so I can enjoy holidays and not affect my family?

At the moment I feel so useless, so stupid that I just wonder what the point of me is.

Bizarrely, lots of Roman restaurants don't do basic veggie pasta sauces! Lots of seafood, prawns, clams etc.

Are your family already used to it? I have had various food issues, I have taught myself to eat 'normally' now in public, if my children are there, but couldn't for a long time. In bad periods, my family were very used to me coming out for company, chat and a juice while they ate out, with me eating at home later.

Would something like that work, or would it freak the kids out? You just there to enjoy the atmosphere, they all eat, you eat something 'safe' from a shop back where you're staying? Sounds a lot more fun for everyone that way. And you'll eat better if your not stressed too.

That’s sounds really tough, I would defo try to get some help for it when you come home. Issues around food and fear of eating are so easily passed on to kids etc but even for your own sanity it best something you try and deal with. There are a lot of usual culprits when it comes to food poising so steal clear of those, along with ice, tap water etc if you’re unsure of the establishment. Italy is great, lots of Italian pizza and pasta options are veg by default and very little risk of food poisoning. Hope you get through it okay x

The biggest nightmare with food in Italy is how to stop eating it!!!!

Don't know if you use Instagram Reels or Tiktok but I found those a lot more useful for finding safe restaurants or takeout places compared to Tripadvisor. TA reviews are rarely accurate and the vast majority of places get over 4 stars. I found great restaurants by searching the city I was in plus "food" or "restaurant" on Tiktok. You get the currently most hyped or viral spots and you can guarantee that the food is fresh because tons of people want to eat there. You will also get an immediate video impression of the food and can make your own mind up based on that.

Sorry. Thread had moved past that idea while I was writing it..

Thanks! Sensible points. We had bruschetta for lunch.

There aren't many local restaurants that do basic tomato sauces. Most are meaty or clans/prawn/fish. And DS is vegetarian, and a bit fussy...

I already do all that. Doesn't always help. Maybe it is time for CBT.

I’d be seeking some counselling when you get home. You can’t live like this. I actually think it’s better to eat anything and build your resilience up. I’ve eaten everything all over the world and never had food poisoning.

I had a similar but not the same problem a couple of years ago. I had something that prevented me from swallowing properly and made eating solid food very difficult.

I can't count the number of times I just couldn't eat, it was awfully embarrassing, but no one else minded or cared (when eating out I mean). I coped by ordering very small meals like a starter that was easy to swallow, had that as a main and I could eat a soft dessert.

It's gone now for the most part, but I look back on those days as awful. I dreaded going out for a meal as most of it would end up in my napkin discreetly to be disposed of or in a takeaway box for eating later, which I never did. I feel for you, even though your issue is different, it has the same effect.

I'd suggest ordering like I did, and picking at it so as to be part of the group/family, and filling up back in the room when more relaxed.

You must be way overthinking the restaurants OP - you’re in ITALY. Why does there have to be veggie options for DS? Let him eat what he wants and YOU eat a breadstick or chips.

The majority of tourists in Rome will also not speak Italian, why do you find your DH lack of Italian stressful? Do you need to speak the language of every place you go?

It sounds like you are taking control with food to make up for the lack of control/perceived failures you see with DH. That’s dangerous disordered territory. You sound like hard work but I do think you need help, definitely visit GP when you get home.

Could you ask the restaurant to leave the fish out of the tomato based sauces? They must have vegetarian options.

honestly CBT made a massive difference to my life, you've got nothing to lose by giving it a try.

I went to Rome with severe food allergies and ate out all the time - everyone spoke English and were extremely accommodating. It's one of the best places to eat in the world, and feels so safe.

With anxiety, it's the overthinking that paralyses you. I didn't do a huge amount of restaurant research, just went into ones that looked nice, asked about allergy protocols and then ordered. The more you search, the more you tie yourself into knots.

Romes most famous pasta dish is just cheese and pepper. Its irresistable. And veggie

Another simple dish that most roman restaurants do is aubergine parmiagiana, tomatoes and aubergine, sometimes with cheese but not always

I found most places had a simple tomato sauce pasta.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, I hope you manage to still enjoy your holiday. You can ask for a pasta al pomodoro pretty much anywhere even if it's not on the menu. What about cacio e pepe pasta (pecorino cheese and pepper), that's a classic Roman dish without meat that's everywhere.

When we were in Italy with my (adult) niece who has sensory/ anxiety issues around food, she just asked for tomato pasta in every restaurant even if it wasn’t on the menu. Every single one was happy to oblige. (We also did this in Paris for her too).

Hi OP. I live in Italy too and can't remember ever having food poisoning! Don't worry too much about the menu - most restaurants will do you a plain tomato sauce or something else if you say he's vegetarian. Artichokes are in season now and are delicious in Rome. Honestly, most restaurants won't bat an eyelid if you ask them to leave out the meat.

Eat veggie pastas and pizza and the aubergine dish, plus tomato and mozzarella salads and garlic bread and focaccia

Dd is a vegetarian coeliac and finds Italy really good, I agree if you ask anywhere to make alterations to the menu they will normally be able to come up with something acceptable.

You must be in a different part of Rome to where I was last weekend. I stayed near the Spanish Steps and found it very easy to avoid meat and seafood!

On a purely practical basis I have a weak constitution as opposed to my DH who seems to have an iron stomach. I'll get symptoms within an hour or two of eating something dodgy. When travelling if I feel a bit iffy about meal/location I have coca cola with my meal. Also a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in water tends to do the trick.

Keep to hot foot and avoid ice, shellfish is best avoided too

I saw you're in Rome! Try Trapizzino which is famous street food style place that does pizza bread pockets filled with various sauces/stews, including vegetarian options. Also try Supplizio which does deep fried rice balls, absolutely 100% food-poisoning safe. I believe both are chains and have several locations. The ones we went to were all close to Trastevere.

You have my sympathy, op. I was like this for a very long time. I was well aware of what hard work I was, I hated it as much as the people I was with. I remember existing on margarita pizzas for a week in Rome about 20 years ago. It’s still a “safe” food for me.

I don’t recommend my method of getting over it (seeing toddler DD through two years of chemotherapy - as exposure therapy goes, it’s effective, but brutal). I did have some hypnotherapy sessions though, which I think helped a bit. I also gave up coffee when I noticed the caffeine has a pretty extreme effect on me. Also this book was fairly helpful: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0956516645/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Stop beating yourself up. Find some safe foods that you can manage, keep some bags of crisps in your hotel room, drink plenty of water, and try to relax and enjoy the rest of your holiday.

If you're really struggling, there's a Hard Rock Cafe. Not traditional Italian fare, but my kids enjoyed it 🙂