On holiday and having a nightmare with food

[FoodAnxiety]

Is anyone else like this? I feel like a freak, I feel like I'm spoiling everyone else's holiday.

I have anxiety around food and vomiting bugs, so I'm super-careful about where we eat, checking TripAdvisor ratings, etc. and being easily put off restaurants.

So we're in Italy - should be easy enough to find nice restaurants here?? But I'm so hesitant to eat out in case we get food poisoning, and I'm really fussy about where we eat.

Help me - how can I deal with this so I can enjoy holidays and not affect my family?

At the moment I feel so useless, so stupid that I just wonder what the point of me is.

Eat vegetarian

I’ve been to Rome a few times, granted not for a couple of years, but we found plenty of places that served vegetarian pasta and pizzas etc for my fussy middle child.

As a fussy eating vegetarian, who doesn't speak a word of Italian, and who recently returned from Rome, I think you are massively overthinking the 'difficulties'. Everyone spoke English and it was very easy to get vegetarian food

You need to be kind to yourself. You have a mental health challenge that makes eating out very difficult. Try to accept that for now, amd.focus on finding food that your ds and the rest of the family will like.

What does your ds want to eat? I have never been in a Roman osteria/trattoria that does not do 2 or 3 veggie pasta options.

Also, hygeine standards in Italy are much higher than in the UK, in general.

I'd step away likes of TripAdvisor.
I've made that mistake before. Even ones with high ratings end up with posts from disgruntled customers claiming the food was dreadful, the service was bad and they all got stomach issues afterwards.

Go out.
Choose somewhere which seems popular, especially if it looks like locals are there as well.
Look at a menu in the window.
Look at the things you can see.

Then you chose what you can eat 'safely' and let the rest of the party select their own.

And to be fair I've only had food poisoning in holiday once. It was in a really quite fancy restaurant. Dd and I had scallops - everything was the same for both our meals, including sides and drinks. Dh also had scallops as part of his meal. I was the only one ill - I think I was just unlucky and got a bad scallop - I know myself stomach is also more sensitive to these things, due to medication, so it takes less. It was just a case of bad luck, and it's happened once despite several years of different holidays around the worlld.

Used many public and cafe/restaurant toilets in Italy??

Have you ever thought about seeking some therapy? This sounds like heightened anxiety based on a not very real risk. In the meantime, try and stick to 'safe foods' and take a deep breath. You are not going to ruin your kids holiday, especially if you are mindful of how you phrase it.

Try to cope as best you can then come home and get some therapy.

You cannot dictate food whilst on holiday.

You need some help , primarily so that you don't transfer your fussiness onto your children.

I'm also in Italy.

The best restaurants serving the freshest food in Rome will be serving carbonara, amatriciana or cacio e pepe.

The best Roman vegetarian dishes will be artichoke based, and they're in season. I also had the best homemade spinach and ricotta ravioli ever near the Pantheon.

Fish places will be more expensive and Rome isn't that well known for its fish restaurants. Here I eat shellfish all the time, but unless I was on the coast in the UK (for example) I wouldn't risk it. Here it's very very fresh.

You can't wrong in Trastevere and just outside the Vatican I can recommend Arlu'

I've lived here since 1994 and never had food poisoning. I've also never eaten in a restaurant in a tourist hotspot like Rome where the staff don't speak English. A lot of restaurant staff aren't Italian anyway.

Get some therapy.

I have this issue too. If it helps, I went all over Italy eating pasta and pizza at cheap places and was absolutely fine. The water is fine too, very clean. Just don’t eat seafood.

Also look into your need for everything to be perfect. And coping mechanisms for when it isn't.

Lol! It’s an experience in itself.

Agree with poster above who says to be kinder to yourself. You’re not a bad or difficult person, just struggling a bit with your mental health right now. Some therapy sounds like a good idea when you get home but for now you can only cope as best you can.
I’m sure it won’t be ruining your kids whole holiday if they go out to eat with their dad without you (that’s the anxiety talking!). And they are unlikely to care if you order the same dish every night or stick with just a few restaurants.
Hope the suggestions others have made for ‘safe’ foods has helped and you’re able to enjoy the rest of the holiday!

Ahhh @FoodAnxiety you want everything to be perfect and say DH is no help. You're putting yourself under so much pressure here. I wonder why you feel the need for it to be so perfect? I wonder why DH doesn't step in and help (would you be OK with this if he did)?

I have similar feelings to you just not as extreme, but it's because I feel I can't be ill as DH will moan and will step up but grudgingly (he has anxiety too) and I'll have to deal with the emotional fall-out. I think if I had a calm DH who would deal with it OK, I'd be much better!

I wonder therefore if it's about your relationship as a whole? Maybe some history of how you felt unsupported when ill previously?

If I'm wrong and just projecting, ignore me! It's great to hear others on here talk about how fab the hygiene is in Italy though. 😊

This is not normal, OP. I've been to Rome multiple times and never got food poisoning. I have never checked a hygiene rating for a restaurant in any country in my life.The food in Italy is so easy. Just let your family choose the restaurants for the rest of your stay, then sort out some therapy when you come home.... you can't live like thus.

Thank you for being so understanding! Such a helpful post.

Honestly you would ruin my holiday. My pleasure is eating out

Italy has really high hygiene standards. YABU

Just order hot simple food. Well done steak and chips is near impossible to get food poisoning from

I'm sorry this anxiety is so debilitating for you, it sounds really difficult. I hope that you feel able to look into some help for coping with it when you get home, that way a positive can come out of the stress. I also just wanted to add that I'm veggie and have never had food poisoning (despite some probably questionable restaurant choices) 😊 I think you'll be fine, especially in Italy- I hope you manage to get some nice food x

I understand, different underlying reason, IBS, but same anxiety about where and what to eat. Plus was always the one having to make suggestions and suit everyone. And I do sometimes wonder what the point of me is. Be kind to yourself, practice breathing and I hope you find some nice places.

I understand why you might not want to eat in a restaurant yourself, but what I don't understand is why you went back to your hotel/apartment, and left the rest of the family to eat out. Could you not have stayed with them but eaten nothing - just said you weren't very hungry or something? By leaving, you made it much more of an issue - almost like stalking off in a strop.

And why bother eating out at all if you are afraid of food poisoning? Just go on self-catering holidays.

I didn't ask if I was being U.

I'm glad I'm not on holiday with you. Way to make me feel even worse. I hope you feel better.

Thank you - I appreciate it.

Just stick to the blander stuff or pizza and I’m sure you’ll be fine.
The only places we’ve got sick from food abroad is the USA which have a much higher incidence rate than the U.K. and presumably Italy, and once when my Dad ate some shellfish of some kind straight out the sea in Greece. So just avoid doing that ;)