Adoption shower ideas

[CraftyC]

I have offered to host an adoption shower for my best friend. They have been going through the UK adoption system for nearly 2 years and will be taking a 1 year old girl home mid May. The mum to be knows about the shower and is incredibly excited.

However all the ideas for games I have seen are pregnancy related. Does anyone have any ideas what games/activities I can do with the 15 guests in my house that doesn't mention pregnancy? Any other tips for hosting this shower to make it special for her?

Thanks

It’s relevant because you are shitting all over other people’s happiness.

Adoptive parents have been told in this thread that they shouldn’t be happy to be adopting, that their children will be damaged for life, and that they are “just carers, not really parents”. They shouldn’t celebrate becoming parents and that their children won’t thank them for it. That adoption isn’t a good thing.

This is really upsetting and offensive for adopters AND adoptees reading this.

I’m curled up on the sofa with my 7 year old. I AM his mum. He is worth celebrating. It’s shameful that some of you think he isn’t.

You sound like a lovely friend 💐

❤️❤️❤️

What nastiness is this? Do not want one, do not have one. Others are entitled to celebrate their momentous life events any way they please!

You and your team are very unusual.

A small family party before a baby arrives would indicate to me me (and to normal people whether involved in the world of adoption or not) that the adoptive parents has a healthy support network and that they are solidifying their friendship/community ties prior to the intense closed down period when the baby arrives.

Adoptions are most likely to be successful when the parent as well as the child is well supported. Parenting is most likely to be successful when parents look after their own needs as well as their child’s.

If you are involved in the world of adoption (which I somewhat doubt as your attitude is so odd) then if you have adoptive parents whose adoptions are derailed by holding normal family and friend get togethers then there is something very seriously wrong with the selection process that is approving these individuals.

@Purplevioletsherbert it really is offensive isn't it. My kids are amazing and had wonderful care from amazing foster carers between birth and adoption.

@Neurodiversitydoctor why the gender divide at showers? To answer that it's because adoptive mums want to enjoy as many of the experienced of becoming a mother as they are able to. If it's normal in their friendship group to have a group of female friends get together to have a baby shower then why shouldn't an adoptive mother have the same experience.

My husband went out and had a lads night before placement too. It would't been appropriate to have the traditional "wet the baby's head" night after baby arrived so he did it before .

It's one night and didn't get in the way of all the preparation we were doing in advance of placement.

I think you are a lovely friend

My youngest son was adopted and it felt so awful that there wasn't the same level of interest from friends and family as my eldest. I got 3 cards, that was it. I wanted my child to feel welcomed and celebrated as a new member of our family.

Oh my god this has blown up.

Thank you to everyone who suggested games and activities. You have helped me to give my best friend a memorable afternoon celebrating her becoming a mother to a beautiful 1 year old little girl.

Yep, I had no idea people think like this, it's awful. Thank god my friends and family are decent people who totally embraced my lovely children from the day they met them. They've been surrounded by love all their lives. And as for the poster who call us adoptive carers and not adoptive parents, well words fail me. Try telling my kids that, they'd soon give then short shrift.

The baby photos are golf the guests themselves not their parents or children?
It's looking at each guest and matching them to their photo.

It's a lovely thing you are doing OP. I hope your friend has a wonderful celebration and enjoys the build up to the arrival of her daughter.

The adult is becoming a parent. I don't see a problem with celebrating that transition.

So much nastiness and negativity on this thread. I have two friends who have adopted children recently, both as single women. Knowing that they have a support network and their friends are there to champion them is massive. There is no bigger transition in life than becoming a parent.

Oh Thank You
Your comment was a revived memory, a real Blast from the Past

Circa 1986 we done the baby and toddler things at work once.. Not sure why now but it was a bit of fun and a lot of "awwww"ing going on

We did "chug the baby bottle", and balloon between the legs waddle race at my friends baby shower, but she and I were the only ones pregnant, everyone else was there for the craic and very much enjoyed chugging White Russians and racing around the garden! 😂

A game I saw was a type of pass the parcel. Inside each layer was a rhyme where people had to find someone to pass the parcel to. It was a great ice breaker for people who might not know one another and was quite fun. I can't remember the rhymes exactly but one was something like:
Sorry chick, life's not fair... pass this to the girl with the longest hair.

Could be pass to the girl with the highest heels or painted nails or something. Kind of generic things where there will always be someone to pass to. Each person opens a layer and then eventually someone wins a prize (small toiletries / chocolate etc).

Hope you have fun!

OP, the issue you have here is that you made the heinous mistake of describing it as a “shower”. In all situations, enjoying one of them is viewed akin to murdering the Pope on Mumsnet.

I don’t have any further ideas than the good ones above, but just wanted to say that you sound like a very supportive friend, and what any new mother needs is the love and support from those close to her. It sounds like she has that, and I hope you all have a lovely day. 💐

Your friend must be soooooo excited and over the moon !

She has gone thru so much !

and to have been matched with a child is just wonderful !!!

stay away from ideas /games re baby weight as that is not relevant for her and she may not even know what her soon to be daughter weighed.

concentrate on toddlers as a one year old is a toddler, so yes nothing wrong with the friends photos as toddlers as a game thing

btw adoption day is quite some way off, that's the day it is formally approved by the Court and I believe child has to be with her for x months before she can apply for that - that's if she is in England.

@CraftyC

I'm afraid adoption brings out the worst on MN
Tell your friend that there is a great adoption board here, threads don't show as trending so we avoid the worst.
There are lots of lovely regular posters with a wealth of advice and experience to share.

Have a lovely party

I suggested this earlier — you’ve always struck me as an exemplary bunch over there!

Adoption imo should be about a child who needs a family finding one....the purpose should not be for childless people to become parents. But I appreciate my view is unpopular.

I agreed, though unfortunately people sometimes take this to the extreme and there’s pressure on the adopted person to be grateful for their adoption. That doesn’t sit right either to be honest.

And in what way is throwing an adoption shower for a friend contravening that view?

Because for it to be considered a celebration for the adult to become a parent then you need to consider the trauma to a child of being removed from a birth parent and/or the reason they were removed. I find it a bit vulgar to celebrate that.