What is the ballpark for a cash wedding gift for a couple these days?

[Allshallbewell2021]

Just wondering the range of what people give these days.

Thanks, it's for a relative.

What about a second wedding? Do people tend to do less? Especially if the couple are pretty wealthy

I think it really does vary - not least because many married couples are not young people starting out (at least not that I've been invited to) - they are 30s+ and are in well established careers with a mortgaged house etc. They already have much of what they need for a life together.

That being said, I gave £200 to a sibling last year for their wedding.

It is a gift, not a payment to cover being there. I’ve never come across the idea that you should pay what it costs to host you. It’s not as though you choose where you’re spending your day or the food you’ll eat.

We are going to the 2nd wedding of someone who cheated on their first wife. I’m really struggling to think what is an acceptable amount here.

Would you vary what you gave depending on how much you thought they were spending on your meal?

In that case £100

Oo I've been to one of those weddings we gave £50. I didn't want to go but felt obliged it was a total hoha and the marraige lasted 6 months!

£70 recently but a lot more than that on travel, hotel, outfits for the kids etc.

Not sure how relevant it is but the happy couple were homeowners with kids, together for over 15 years. So didn’t really “need” anything. So that felt generous to me.

@Businessflake It would but I'd never give less than £250 even if it's a knees up at the pub with some pizzas.

One of my best friends has married twice. I was very generous at her first wedding.
second time I bought them a lovely rose bush for their garden

I just look at where reception will be. That gives me an idea of cost. No one ever said it's the guests problem. It's just polite to not put people out of pocket for inviting you IF you can afford to do so.

The hosts "being out of pocket" shouldn't be the guests' consideration, any more than how much they paid for the dress or flowers.
They chose the venue and the catering, it's not up to the guests to make up the cost.

Corinthians, no one is asking the guests to make up any costs. I simply stated it's nice to pay your way IF you can afford to.

I understand. However, I do think "pay your way" is a strange approach to being a wedding guest.

£50 unless they are providing accommodation

Agree to differ.

I gave £120 to a close friend who married last year (me and partner invited to full day wedding). I had no idea if that was appropriate but I tried to balance the fact she'd have paid more than £60pp on food/drinks package but we had also had to pay for flights etc to travel to wedding.

Fair dos.

£50 for evening do or a bottle of champagne

£100 for all day unless especially close

If it’s to cover your plate, I’d rather not go somewhere turning out 50 dry chickens and Creme brulees and ‘pay for my plate’ somewhere with actually quality food.

I think it’s tacky to ask for money anyway - if you can’t afford a wedding, don’t have one.

£200 - £500 for a first wedding. Less for a second.

My family understands that as a lone parent on not a very good wage I'm often down to my last penny. I usually give a hand made card and scour charity shops for something lovely and sentimental. I found a gorgeous vase for my sister and her husband that they put their anniversary flowers that I buy them in every year (followed by cute social media post)! If it is a friend I usually give £20 as I often don't know them quite well enough to buy them an actual gift. I'm not tight fisted, just struggling financially.

Nowadays I'd give 150 to the couple, regardless of whether I'd travelled and paid for accommodation.

In the past, I've given 50 quid when we've had to travel and pay petrol/accommodation and couldn't afford more.

We tend to give £100 if we're both attending, so £50 if only one of us goes. For close friends or family, we'd give a bit more (~£150).

If we were only attending the evening reception or they were close friends but we couldn't attend the wedding at all, it would be £25-50.

Honestly at our wedding, we were grateful for whatever we got.
Am shocked at how much some people give !!

£50 per person at the minimum if cash. If there's a registry you can get away with choosing a lovely gift worth less than that instead.