What is the ballpark for a cash wedding gift for a couple these days?

[Allshallbewell2021]

Just wondering the range of what people give these days.

Thanks, it's for a relative.

Honestly don't worry about it and just give whatever you can comfortably afford. We got married in 2022 and it ranged from £20 - £100 per couple. We certainly didn't think any less or judge people who gave small amounts, we were just grateful that they came and it was a bonus that they gave us anything, even the small amounts soon add up

£50 is ok, relatives or very close then £100.
If it's an evening do, just a card.

I was going to pipe up and ask what are the odds of getting a thank you. That might determine how much to give.

I'm fed up of attending weddings and never getting a thank you card. One was over Easter once which involved cancelling other plans, 400 mile round trip so an overnight stay required. Not a peep afterwards from the bride and groom.

So I'm a bit cagey now around wedding invites generally and my level of generosity!

It depends what you can comfortably afford surely ? We would probably give £50-£100 .

Between £50 and £100 is plenty. We gave £100 to friends of ours recently and they messaged us afterwards to ask why on earth we had given so much.

Weddings already cost a fortune to attend, any more than that would mean we just couldn't go.

At our wedding ( 2 years ago) the most common gift was £50 per person, so most couples gave us £100.

Close relatives (i.e. siblings/parents) gave us more or paid for a part of the day (my DPs paid for the cake, for example but also gave us money).

We did make it clear that we didn't expect any gifts, but people do like to give something.

We married close to where we live, but all my friends and family are spread out, so most people stayed in the hotel at least 1 night. We also had a paid bar, but the table wine from the wedding breakfast spilled over in to the evening in to a "help yourself" arrangement at the end of the bar, so wine drinkers were effectively free!

We were very surprised by how much we got (over £4k), which we put towards our honeymoon.

I got married about three years ago. We were given anything between £20 and £100. I can't remember who gave what, it didn't really matter. Give what you can afford, nobody should ever feel pressured to give a gift of a certain amount.

That would make me cross too, and would definitely make me consider how generous I was! Thankfully all of the weddings I've been to have given a thank you card. I would definitely keep a mental note of any that I didn't get a thank you from and would likely do a passive aggressive cheap crappy Christmas card from that point on but, of course, never say anything!

Our photographers gave us some "sneak peak" photos a week after the wedding and we used one to make up the thank you cards, so they got sent out quite quickly after the wedding.

Some were pre-printed with "thank you for your generous gift", so we did only send them to those that had given a gift.

We also had some blank ones made up so I could send them to our suppliers, and also used those to handwrite messages of "thank you for coming" to those that came but didn't give a gift as ultimately they still had the expense of staying over in the hotel, which wasn't cheap.

I've been to about 10 weddings in the past 2-3 years and I don't think thank you notes are that common anymore.

We always do £50

Sons wedding, the meal was £60 per head. I thought after that I'd refuse a future wedding invite and send £100 otherwise everyone is out of pocket.

I've seen hen do's on here for £400 plus a pop. I think the Cypriot wedding I witnessed was a better idea. The whole village comes give the bride and groom cash, get some sugared almonds a chicken drumstick a dance and go home.

It's a gift. It doesn't matter what the bride, groom or family spent on their wedding, that's their choice.
How much it cost the hosts "per head" is neither here nor there and wouldn't affect my gift.
It's not a quid pro quo.

I always give £50 and don’t overthink it.

Cover your plate? You’ve been invited…you’re not turning up to a restaurant (where you can choose what you eat). You’ve been invited as a guest. Do you charge friends when they come to your house for a meal?
sorry but as an invited guest there should be no expectation of a monetary gift…and those tack poems asking for money are just a real no no.
When I say ‘you’ I’m talking about everyone who’s said this!
Putting my flack jacket on now!

"cover your plate" is so rude, I agree @Gall10 .
As if they're doing you a favour! I dislike that attitude.

I’ve only once had a ‘thank you’ note…very close relatives (think god-daughter and one very close nephew) didn’t even say thank you for coming verbally…let alone a note/card/txt.
Maybe they were too busy spending the money they asked for!

If people don't want to send thank you cards, they can at least do it by text or whatever. The last wedding I went to, the couple messaged everyone their thanks and attached a nice picture. To do nothing is bad mannered.

Agreed

I'd always over the cost of our meals.

Surely people don't get married expecting their guests to cover the cost?

If someone chooses to have an expensive wedding then any money given should be a bonus, their guests are already covering the travelling and accommodation costs, outfits to suit the day, drinks, giving up their time to go.
If someone is choosing a £75 a meal venue they should be able to afford that or have a cheaper venue or smaller wedding.

To avoid seeming mean, the minimum I would give is £75 per person. For close family - sister or brother I would give around £250 per person.
But it does depend a bit on your circumstances.

Why on earth do you need to cover the cost of the meal? You've been invited as a guest. You would take a gift of some sort, but the meal is surely provided.

It's their choice to spend £75 per head. There should be no expectation that it is "covered" by guests.
Of course it "costs them" to host you! That's what hosting a wedding is about.

The Bride and Groom have no expectations of guests covering their cost but I'd feel bad not to do so for a young couple just starting out when I can afford to do so.

So what do you do? Text them and ask how much it costs per head?
If they're a young couple starting out, they've chosen to host an event. If it's beyond their means that's not the guests problem.