If you had the money to, would you send your children to private school?

[lomp]

And why?

Not in a million years.
I work in one and I can tell you now that the pastoral side of my kids' (state primary) is far superior.

The way students are spoken about at my workplace would turn the parents hair grey if they heard it. They are mostly valued for their fees and very little else.

Yes. For secondary mot primary. We are not in a catchment for a decent school. I prefer smaller class sizes, teachers being more accountable, being more results driven, behavioural issues being resolved, mutual respect by both teachers and students, having higher expectations, having more subject options and more extra curricular activities.

Yep, but unusually, for prep not secondary, when they both went state. It's what we could afford, but also there is research to support that's when the specific offering of private benefits more. It's worked out .

Genuine question- how would you know where they've been to school? My DH does law recruitment and wouldn't have a clue where candidates went to school.
I don't know where most of my friends went to school- except for the ones I met at school obviously, and a few Uni friends.

Nope as luckily I live in a country with lots of fantastic grammar schools, with easy enough access. And fantastic primary schools.

I always said I wouldn't go private even though we could afford it.

DS is bright and got into an outstanding grammar and did really well. There is no private school locally that could have given him a better education.

DD has slow processing and will be lucky to get any GCSEs at all but we took her out of her outstanding state academy in Y8 and sent her to the local private school because the state school was failing her miserably.

The difference is amazing and I wish I'd sent her private from reception year. She'd be a different girl now. Sadly the damage caused during her time in state school ( outstanding primary and secondary) will never fully be undone.

Yes we have done state primary and now private secondary.
Local state schools are dire and DD is thriving in private.
I have to laugh at some of anti comments eg private schools employ unqualified teachers. Well guess what, so do many state schools!
She is in Yr 7 and so far I am confident that we 100% made the right decision. She isn't having to deal with bullying and vaping in toilets, violent behaviour on school buses or overtly sexualised behaviour.
Her fitness levels have gone through the roof thanks to 5 double games sessions per week and she is discovering interests that she never knew about previously.

Yes, I definitely would for secondary. Our primary school is good, but secondary schools are dire (one rated inadequate, the other requiring improvement, which is the one dd is going to next year). It would give her a lot more opportunity to be in a smaller, nurturing, supportive environment in private school and I’d do it in a heartbeat if I could. Why not? People see private doctors if they can afford them (I also can’t 😂), but wouldn’t begrudge anyone who needed to to get better care.

I think most private school parents send their kids private precisely so their DC don’t end up in media. So you shouldn’t need to worry too much about that.

Yes 100 %.

You are paying and whilst yes many teachers and heads are not going to bend to your every whim.... Still... You aren't definitely treated more like a paying customer.

You still have some minimal leeway as a paying customer.

There is usually a far more bespoke and personal service eg my cousins son has had a huge sit down and with the head to discuss future options, where is best to go What to do.

My dd didn't get anywhere near her head.

We didn't educate our children privately, even though we could have done.

I think the idea of buying advantage for one's children is immoral and that all education should be properly funded to give every child the chance to fulfil their potential. If everyone is educated well then the whole of society wins.

I also did not wish my children to grow up in the bubble that so many children we know do. Their parents went to particular schools and universities, their children follow them and they all move in the same social circles. They have no experience of what life is like for people less fortunate than themselves and until these social barriers are removed, nothing will improve.

@GradGrindian

Can you elaborate more I can't understand the post.

Are you saying that private school dc can't tell a story or have broad experience?

And if so experiences in what

@TwigTheWonderKid and what about the barriers that so so many dc face due to simple sen.

Well said @TwigTheWonderKid

I understand the moral objections.

However, in the moment, when your child is struggling, you can choose to take the moral high ground or you can just choose better for your child. We did the latter.

I went to a very deprived state school myself but was fortunate to be a straight A student and so never thought I'd choose private for my own children. But life doesn't always turn out how you think.

It would depend on the state school and private school on offer.

My eldest son had a great state education at his comp and thrived there so i cant really see what private would have done for him.

My other son has sen and goes to an independent special school. The state pays the fees. If he didnt go there, he couldnt go to school at all as nowhere else would have him.

That’s all well and good, unless your children go to a failing school on a sink estate.

I used to live in West London. Lots of people thought the same way as you. I wouldn’t have considered private school as dds school was great.

Now I live in a dump in the West Midlands and she goes to a school where other parents spark up spliffs outside the school gates. I wish she didn’t see what life was like for people less fortunate- it’s fucking grim.

By definition that's like saying everyone who didn't go to private school is an untitled d*ckhead. Absurd statement.

It depends on the school.

@TwigTheWonderKid that's really laudable and I don't disagree about what out system SHOULD be. But it's not, and simply abolishing the private sector will not achieve that...no informed economic study has concluded that it will. Are you honestly saying that if you had the means, and your child was floundering or profoundly suffering in the state sector, you wouldn't take them out and put them in a private school if it offered whatever it was the state couldn't offer? On principle?

This isn't true.

Depends what state school soooo

Yes, that is exactly what I saying.

Yes it does depend on what school, agreed

@TwigTheWonderKid then I'm afraid we will have to agree to disagree. I would never and did not put my child's mental and physical health at greater risk by leaving them in the bear pit of their state school so they could somehow benefit from the experience in the long term. They are now safe, confident and supported in their small, private environment. It's not Eton. They and plenty of their peers are not landed gentry. We live in one of the highest areas of social deprivation in the UK..they're not oblivious..just don't have their lives made fucking miserable and terrifying every day any more. I sincerely hope your children are never in that position and have their mum shove them through the gate everyday regardless, on principle.