If you had the money to, would you send your children to private school?

[lomp]

And why?

@pippabg the kids who held down son and threatened him with scissors? The kids who physically held him back so he couldn't get off the bus at his stop? Yes, I'm perfectly happy calling them violent thugs thanks. And just like calling all private kids "thick poshos" or "entitled dickheads" is a ridiculous generalisation, so would it be if I called all state school kids violent thugs. I didn't. I specified my kids in their old school. As has been said many many times on this thread, IF you can afford to live in an area with a lovely catchment, and IF your kids are generally NT and confident etc then great. But there's so much that can and does go wrong and the right private school (in my case, small, non selective) is a million times better and i am and will continue to beggar myself to keep them there.

We do have the money and have chosen not to. DCs went to our fantastic local primary and on to our local comprehensive secondary which I think is great.
We are in the fortunate position that if they started to struggle, academically or socially, we could look for alternative schools, including private.

No. But we chose to move into the catchment of one of the best state Secondaries in the Country instead (and a very desirable area that we wanted to live in anyway) - which I'm aware is essentially paying for education by stealth.

Absolutely not. A complete waste of money.

In my opinion I wouldn't, because I think there's a lot to be learnt with mixing with other children from a wide variety of background.

I do believe that there are other factors involved with how well a child does in school, down to their own intellect, desire to do well and interest in a subject. The teacher does have to be able to motivate children and make learning fun on occasions.

However, if my child was not succeeding in a particular subject, I wouldn't think twice about a private arrangement with a teacher for additional support.

I do have a few friends who have sent their children to private school. One went there via scholarship.

No I wouldn't. But only because we have an excellent state secondary locally.

If I was surrounded by failing schools then yes I'd go private in a heartbeat.

We do have the money and haven't sent our DC private.

The difference between the selective independent schools and the very good state secondary locally is not significant enough to spend £20k a year per child on it.

Depends on the state options really. If you're offered the local failing "crap" comp, then, 100% yes, it would be private. However if there is a good (in all ways) state comp that I could get my child into, then no.

My brother went to a private school in the 70s because he'd been allocated the local "sink school", and my parents scrimped and saved (driving a crappy old car, no holidays, etc) to pay for it, father was a shop manager, mother a secretary.

We'd have done the same for our son. But in the end, he was allocated into one of the best state schools in our catchment area and there was no need as he excelled, mostly because of little bullying, little disruption and little behaviour problems. It was a strict school and then suited our son.

@BibbleandSqwauk well said

Absolutely not!

No I can afford and we don’t. Having mixed with a range of adults in my professional life, struggling to see what the obsession is. I think it’s an abomination though how private school kids dominate sports, music, politics etc and I’d happily ban them.

Agree.

We can afford it and never would. My only reason would be for SEN (as in, struggling in a normal society level)

Teaching at private’s is shit.

Yes, I did.

My ds won a maths scholarship to an indie and wanted to take it up. He'd been bored stupid in yr 6 of primary and was so frustrated and unhappy. It was at the same time that the local state senior school trust was judged failing & even Ofsted said it wasn't safe. Bullying was rife. It was wound up the following year.

For us it was the right thing to do at the time. It's worked for us. Ds is happy & on track for 7s & 8s this summer.

My finances are stressed to say the least but we're nearly there. If a safe decent free alternative had been available we would have taken it. There wasn't.

Not if they want to go into media or academia.
DH, I and some colleagues have a bit of a pact not to hire private school kids.
We don't quite have a '478 days since we ' notice board' but it is a topic of conversation. And I think particularly women in management are less likely to be charmed or make assumptions about ability these days.
In the case of media, unless their parents are bank rolling the Production Company, the public school kids people tend to be very narrow in their experiences and storytelling. If you are prepared to commission my film then I'll find a runner job for all your mates kids.
I also can't bare the pompous confidence that they generally have - I've got PTSD from growing up near Eton.

I never thought I'd say this, but yes I would now for secondary. Our local schools just can't pull behaviour into line anymore, and they don't seem to possess the powers to do so, and the kids know it. I work in my son's secondary school so I see it it happening.

@firstimemum23 the teaching at my private includes how to use apostrophes properly. A plural "privates" does not require one. Please do go away with your ridiculous generalisation. Every single teacher at my school has at least a bachelor's degree in the subject they teach and often a masters or PhD. They all have QTS minimum and some post-grad teaching qualifications. Many of them are involved in outreach booster classes for A level students in neighbouring schools for subjects like physics. And this is a non selective school with the full ability range so it's not just "easy" kids. Most of us use every lunchtime for clinics or extra curricular clubs. We teach until 4.30 everyday and do duties in the boarding houses until 10.30 regularly. For the same pay as in state. We do it because the kids are a pleasure to teach; I haven't been spat at, sworn at or threatened in any way in the 12 years since I swapped from state. But yeah, we're all shit 🙄

If someone gave us an open cheque only to be used for private school, no I don't think I would. We have an excellent state school within walking distance and the nearest private school would require a house move or change in lifestyle to get them there, I don't think my kids would would overly benefit from private, I'm really happy with their school provision.

But if it was a life changing sum of money enabling house move, change of lifestyle etc then yes I'd likely consider it.

Absolutely not. not Boarding, anyway. I was sent to one and it absolutely fucked me up for sixteen years after I left. If you are in any doubt, then read the book ‘Trauma, Abandonment and Privilege’ about the work therapists do with Boarding School Survivors and please, PLEASE take heed.

Not in my case because my children all went to local grammar schools which were excellent and a private school would struggle to give a better education.

I wouldn't want to have sent DD to private school when younger, but I know that's more for my sake than hers.

She was adamant she wanted to go private for sixth form. We couldn't afford and not really on our radar, so told her if she wanted to go, she had to personally enquire. She did and her first choice came up with a bursary and large scholarship - she's not an A*/A in all subjects but got in.

She struggled initially, said it wasn't what she wanted, but decided to stick with it. She's nearly 23 now, said it was the best thing she ever did. She's very independent, we never her PS for uni and she got five offers, she sorts out problems I wouldn't know where to start, met some lovely people who she's still in contact with - it ended up beinga lovelyexperienceforus and her (level of support, inclusion, ambiance). Also, she doesn't think she'd have got her current job if she hadn't gone private (boss has only ever taken on graduates from private backgrounds!).

Like a shot.

The schools where I live are terrible. Really bad. Bad ofsteads, terrible behaviour, parents fighting in the playground.

Dd is very bright and the school have told me many times they can’t support her, they spend so much time dealing with the badly behaved kids that she gets ignored . I’ve had to stop them using her as some sort of TA helping out the less able children.

We do work at home and she has tutoring.

For me, no, I think it's morally reprehensible that education is elitist in this way. A child's opportunities and the investment in them shouldn't be based on parental income and what they can afford, every child should have equal opportunity in the world.

I'd also say that as a youth worker I've worked with troubled young people going to both public and private schools and the ones in private school got so much less support. I also train teachers in a few niche areas of pastoral care and it was very very difficult to get into private schools but the amount of issues uncovered once we did get in was shocking - so much sweeping things under the carpet to preserve reputation and so much lack of awareness.

My children are past school age now. Both attended brilliant state schools throughout, have excellent GCSEs and A levels, and both went to / are at universities that are ‘elite’ for their chosen subjects.

However, as a teacher, I know the effect of underfunding both of schools and of support services (SEN; social services; health) and of the exponential increase in need. I know that teachers are leaving in droves, and that the breadth of subjects that my DC thrived in (DT; Textiles; Art; Music) is being eroded, along with high quality extracurricular provision both in school and via eg county music services.

So - as someone who could have paid but chose not to - might my decision be different today? Possibly.

Yes, as soon as we were in a financial position to, we sent ours to private prep. We moved house so we could be walking distance (it is now our closest school). DCs are very happy there and are thriving educationally and socially. The local state schools are good but can't compare with the small class sizes and specialist teaching and trips, and behaviour is excellent. It's a real bubble but a very comfortable one.

No, but we basically did the "private by stealth" catchment jig. In other circs? Maybe. Though the nearest high-flying ones are a 30-minute drive each way through the guts of south London.