If you had the money to, would you send your children to private school?

[lomp]

And why?

No. I live near a private school. It's renowned for drugs and bullying, which i believe many are. I wouldnt want to pay for that!

We have sent our DC to state secondary, their primary years were mostly overseas so when we moved back home felt it really important that they made friends who lived locally. It’s a really good school and both have been happy (one year 11 and one year 9 now). We could/can afford private but in our situation didn’t feel it was the right choice for their overall well-being

@BasketsandBunnies "The majority of DC who live in my area either go to private London day schools or are at boarding schools."

This reminds me of a line I've always remebered from a "pony"book in my childhood. "Everybody in our town rides."

The demographic in the area I live is people who are living in houses worth several million pounds and above. Many of the people who live there just choose private education as a matter of course and would choose it even if the state provision were great. Others make a conscious choice between local schools with very poor outcomes and personal safety issues, a shot at the super selective grammars or a private provision with much better outcomes in a safe environment. It's pretty obvious the choice they make. I'm guessing you don't live in London.

@BasketsandBunnies "I'm guessing you don't live in London."

You might be surprised to discover how many people don't.

And why would you assume that?

@BasketsandBunnies "
And why would you assume that?"

<shrugs> you made an unevidenced assumption about me-I made one about you.

My assumption was based on the evidence that you clearly didn't understand how it is with affluent areas and catchment state schools in London if you are comparing it to childhood books on ponies. Yours seems to be based more on simple prejudice.

No. Never.

No - I went to a comp and Cambridge. My three went to comps and two are at good unis, one is doing A levels now and predicted excellent grades.

I think if you are smart and put the effort in you should do fine anywhere. And learning to work independently is a big part of what secondary education is for - academically able kids should not need small classes and loads of attention once they are over 11 because they should be able to just find out what work is set and get on with it. I have very low tolerance for kids complaining about disruptive children in class - OK another kid is behaving badly. That's between them and the teacher but it's not your issue. Your issue is ask what you are meant to learn, after the lesson if necessary, and make sure you learn it. You can do it at home if need be. Don't moan that X was talking and that stopped you learning - because in the rest of your life there will always be someone talking and being a pain and you still have to ignore them and do your job.

And if they are smart but don't put the work in they need their parents to give them a kick in the pants (not literally) rather than special treatment. I'm not British though and in my culture the attitude to education is much more - get on with it. Schools are more basic. There's no tolerance of answering back to adults.

I am waaaaaaay more liberal than my own parents were but I was always clear with my kids that my job was to ensure they get everything they need to study - books, time, computers once they needed them. But its their job to study and no dicking around with that.

I think it is different if a child is being bullied or has unmet SEN. I'd never judge anyone who decided to move an unhappy child urgently if the school or LEA wasn;t acting fast enough to help. But otherwise I would strongly recommend teaching children to harden up. It saves a lot of money!

Surely not! Arent those issues for the children of the 'poor'? At least thats what some on MN believe

And I pay to avoid that

@BasketsandBunnies

1. The majority of underperforming state schools are I areas of social deprivation.

2 The vast majority of well off people do not live in such areas.

1. It is therefore puzzling how man posters are forced to go private because all the schools in their area are failing.
2. My mention of my childhood pony book was referring to your statement that most of the children in your area go to private school. It amused me that,as Jill did not notice the many people in her area who presumably did not ride, you presumably don't notice the children in your area who don't go to private school. It was a throwaway thought that made me smile. But nevertheless with some point to it.

No I’m not sounding chippy I’m just pointing out that people are often using the term ‘failing comps’ as a generic term.

And the reason the comps in your area were failing presumably was because you weren’t actually in a comprehensive area - you were in an area with 11+ selection where grammar schools cherry pick the most academically able children, hence the other schools would naturally not get comparative exam results. Do you comprehend that?

Not a snowball in hell's chance.

You did actually have the money. Because you paid for it.

There are no Grammar schools in our Town and plenty of failing Comprehensives (and good ones to be fair)

The situation in London is quite different. You have affluent areas right next to deprived areas and a polarisation of schooling options - pay for very good private schools, which the majority of the middle classes do, or a very poor local state provision with a lot of DC from deprived backgrounds. It is very polarised and I don't like it. We were lucky that our DC are naturally very academic and got places at super selective grammars without any tutoring. My DH is a trauma surgeon and needs to be close to London hospitals to be able to get on site quickly for emergency often life or death surgery. I went to a comprehensive school in a working class area nowhere near London. This may give you a more accurate picture.

I guess it will vary by region, but the state schools where I live are really good. Drugs aren't really a thing. My daughter's not witnessed bullying. Not saying these don't happen, but it's rare. Great that you found one that isn't rife with drugs. If I lived in an area where drugs were rife, like you I'd definitely consider paying for private.

No, I absolutely did not have the money. I prioritised my daughter's education and we both did without many, many things in order to pay for it. I retrained for a job I never wanted and spent many years in that job in order to fund the education and later a wedding. I gave up my health for it. There was no 'You did actually have the money.' No, I didn't. I fought to provide it. I worked eighteen hour days for years, took no holidays, no weekends... I did what I had to do as a single parent to give my daughter the chance of a better future.

So you can keep your smug 'You actually did have the money. Because you paid for it.' You know nothing.

@StopStartStop "I worked eighteen hour days for years, took no holidays, no weekends..."

And you think that was better for your child than her going to the sort of school 93% of kids go to? Blimey.

That sounds absolutely awful for both of you.

Yes, it was. We aren't you. We did what we had to do. We were right, for us, in our circumstances.

I have no objection to other people doing things differently. I don't need to sneer at them. Perhaps you should reconsider your attitude.

@Hoppinggreen That sounds absolutely awful for both of you.

Deferred reward. Wasn't ideal but we achieved what we were aiming for.