How are funerals so much faster in Northern Ireland than in rest of the UK?

[Masaladosai]

Sadly a relative of a friend passed away in Northern Ireland recently. From sudden passing to the funeral (burial) including open casket at home took three days. Compare that to the funerals in have attended in England in the last five years - all ranged between two weeks to over a month to happen. No complicating factors (eg need for post mortem, or police investigation).
Talking with friend, it seems that funerals are often swift in N. Ireland. And they often seem to take quite a long time to happen in England (purposefully not commenting on Scotland or Wales as I have no idea re there).
Anyone got any thoughts?

There are very few crematorium (crematoria?) In Ireland but having said that I think that over the past 5 years most of the funerals I've been to have been cremations, in our case the nearest one is a 3 hour drive away.

Even still, it is 3 to 4 days from the death. I think a months wait, when presumably you're expected to go back to work or school, is cruel.

I thought that UK went from roughly a week to 2-3 weeks due to additional checks and paperwork brought in after the Harold Shipman case? It now takes longer for NHS/Coroners office to hand over and allow funeral booking.

in Ireland it’s so quick, causes an issue for travel, literally need to get on a plane the minute you hear of a death. My relative died Friday afternoon, by 4pm next day family wake, open casket. Added to the shock factor of a sudden death tbh.

Nobody I know has ever put a funeral off because they have stuff to do.
Funerals dates are fixed by the funeral director.

I find your comment rude and smug. You need to take more heed of those sermons you’re listening to.

There is only one crematorium for the whole of Northumberland. When MIL died the service was in the church, then we had a 40 minute drive to the crematorium. So, there is bound to be a delay between death and cremation.

I'm in London; a friend had to wait SIX WEEKS last year for her grandad's funeral. It was very distressing for the family.

It’s usually fast in Scotland too, unless the family choose otherwise.

we had a family member’s funeral within two days, in other cases normally within the week.

the delays in England seem very cruel to me.

Is it a cremation vs burial thing? We lost a family member on a Thursday (died in hospital) and his funeral was on a Friday (in Scotland).We are Muslim and it's always done very quickly, biggest issue is always getting the dr to sign off quickly and get the death certificate.

I attended a funeral for a Scottish friend and it was done within 7 days.

It’s just the way it is in Ireland. Someone dies and are usually brought home that day or the next for the wake. The wake is a few days of the house being packed with visitors paying their respects although this last while I’ve noticed more people are having a closed house with family only. The funeral is nearly always in the 3rd day, starts from the house and everyone walks behind the coffin to the chapel - the coffin is carried for some of that walk. The funeral mass is usually about 45 minutes and then everyone walks behind the coffin to the graveyard for the burial. There’s a ceremony at the grave and then people shake hands with the family. There’s usually sandwiches and soup back at the house after or in a local pub.

I don’t know why I’ve ended up describing the whole process but it’s all I’ve ever known so would feel strange if it was any other way.
There has started to be a few changes over the last few years though, as I said some wakes are now private and there have been a few that have used a funeral home for the viewings instead of the house. Cremations have increased in favour of burials but again this would be within the 3 days.

82.4% of funerals are cremations in England & Wales, 71.6% for Scotland, 23% in N Ireland and 20% in Ireland.
I think this will account for the time to arrange a funeral, especially when you consider the higher death rate during the Covid epidemic in recent years.

My mum's funeral was a few weeks.

She died between Xmas and New Year so the crem was actually shut for the holidays.

Are NI and Ireland less ethnically diverse? Jewish Hindu and Muslim funerals are normally done within 24 hours. Sikh funerals are normally in within three days.

I know it didn't used to be, someone I worked with married a man from NI and when she visited she used to be stared at because she wasn't white.

A quick look at the last census data 1/3 of the population where I live were born outside the UK so that adds an element of family possibly flying in.

One of my friends mother's funeral some relatives flew in from Jamaica and brought some Jamaican soil to mix in to the English soil.

I don't think it's been mentioned yet, but the Harold Shipman case and subsequent enquiry 20 years ago changed the way in which death certificates are issued especially if the deceased had not been seen by a medical practitioner within 28 days of death. I think these cases have to be referred to a coroner (correct me if I'm wrong). This adds an extra layer of paperwork.

When my GP died in England just over 20 years ago, I remember my DM telling me funerals were normally held within 7 days.

I think cremation is now preferred in England, and the infrastructure for this has not been updated in decades. There are only two crematorium in my nearby city with a population of 500k. And my county only has one for a population of 400k. There's obviously a limit for how many can be cremated in one day, and services are often held there if not religious.

For the funerals I’ve arranged personally I’d say 70% cremations. It’s a diverse area and there are still some faiths and cultures that demand burial of the body.

My mum died just before a Christmas, so the closing of things like registrars and crematoria over the holidays meant we couldn’t hold her funeral until the new year.

Three days would have been a blessing for me, but my dad wouldn’t have coped. He spent a lot of time at the funeral home talking to her.

I’ll be opting for direct cremation. If my family and friends want a knees up, they are welcome to have one, I’d just rather they not have to deal with the formalities of a full funeral.

In Northern Ireland it is cultural/religious reason think of Easter , Jesus rose the third day.

Very interesting posts

The way I dealt with it was knowing it wasn't my parent lying in the fridge, it was her dead body. We needed a delay for various reasons and that wasn't my Mom in there.

Why not look up the population of England and the number of Funeral Directors and Crematoria so you can calculate the proportions being dealt with?

I suspect we have a far, far greater ratio of dead being served than RUK.

As for Judaism and Islam I rather think they have their own undertakers who bury their dead in accordance with their religion. I don't know whether other Religions that cremate their dead are included in the general crematorium or have their own systems.

My parents were both buried in three days, with a wake and Rosary at home on the second day. (Scotland, but a place traditionally populated by Irish immigrant families). That was twenty years ago. Nowadays it may take between 5 to 7 days.

My sister will have been dead just under 5 weeks when we have her funeral on the 12th of April. I’m finding it very difficult to understand but not because where I live people are buried the same day and there’s no such thing as an undertaker or funeral home. People are taken care of by family and everything is done at home before being taken to the Mosque. That said though more and more graveyards now have facilities where the deceased can be prepared for burial at the graveyard.

When I was growing up in the Uk funerals were done exactly as they are in Ireland and that’s the model I find most comfort in even though I’ll be buried according to the Islamic way when my time comes.

Truthfully though Id even be ok with being thrown in the sea but that’s not possible.

Scotland, but a place traditionally populated by Irish immigrant families)

Yes. That’s how we did it also.

In the Netherlands a funeral has to be within 6 working days after the day of death. My uncle died on a Monday and his funeral was the Tuesday after. My DH went to a funeral in the UK the same week, the deceased had died 6 weeks before.

I find the UK way very weird! It seems to be such a long time before you can start processing. Also in the UK open caskets aren't common? DH legitimately was very upset at the thought of seeing my uncle.

The funeral directors don't choose the date of the funeral - they liaise with everyone involved in the funeral - usually starting with family for a general idea of when they would like the funeral, then checking availability crematorium or graveyard, and of clergy or celebrant who'll be taking the service. They also need to factor in venues for funeral tea, if there is to be one, having enough cars for family etc.

I'm a Church of Scotland minister - it can take a day or two to get a date and time fixed, but usually the biggest two factors which cause delay are not getting the paperwork in time - and in my area the local authority won't accept a booking for a burial until the death certificate is issued - and those times when a higher than usual number of deaths coincides with public holidays. December and January/Feb can be difficult but 4 weeks is the longest I've seen families have to wait, and they found it very difficult.

When my next door neighbour died they deliberately delayed the funeral because of grandchildren taking final exams at university. I think that is a perfectly legitimate reason to delay.

Sorry for your loss @StrawberryJellyBelly

@mrsdineen2 I think that everyone on this thread had been respectful of one another's views, there are many ways to celebrate a life. To infer that your way is the only one that is respectful to the dead is incredibly rude.

I am living with a life - limiting illness and have recently had discussions with my family about my funeral, with some of it being about what will be easiest for them. If they have to leave my body in a drawer for 2 months then so be it, I know damn well that they love me now while I'm alive!