How are funerals so much faster in Northern Ireland than in rest of the UK?

[Masaladosai]

Sadly a relative of a friend passed away in Northern Ireland recently. From sudden passing to the funeral (burial) including open casket at home took three days. Compare that to the funerals in have attended in England in the last five years - all ranged between two weeks to over a month to happen. No complicating factors (eg need for post mortem, or police investigation).
Talking with friend, it seems that funerals are often swift in N. Ireland. And they often seem to take quite a long time to happen in England (purposefully not commenting on Scotland or Wales as I have no idea re there).
Anyone got any thoughts?

Yeah it's very quick here, usually 2 days after the day they die if they die in the morning, and 3 days after if they die in the afternoon.

We normally bring the body back to their house or a family members house and have a wake from that evening to the day of the funeral. Family and friends drop all and visit the house at all hours. I don't think I've ever been to a wake at a funeral home. You go to funerals of people you have never met if you know someone in their family well too.

It’s a cultural thing. Personally l think it’s healthier to do it sooner rather than later, rather a drawn out wait for the funeral. But as others have said it’s hard to find slots of cremation / burial etc

I seem to remember when I was younger in the 1970's and 80's one week was usual in England, its gradually become a longer wait, why I don't know.

I'm from NI & agree with all of this.

It's so lovely to be able to bring the body home and say proper goodbyes - I find it very comforting. However, I appreciate this is cultural as my DH (English) thinks this is awful and would never want a 'dead body' in the house (which is not how I view the deceased).

Anyway, no idea how we can do it so much quicker but we can - it's totally the norm, not the exception. Assume it's due to a lot smaller population.

I'm a funeral arranger in SE England. Everything here is slow. From waiting for the hospital to forward the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death to the registrar, to the family getting an appointment to register the death and get a death certificate, to getting an appointment at the crematorium (unless you already have a plot in Greater London there are few cemeteries that have space for burials). Don't get me started on trying to get GPs to complete formal paperwork if the death was at home! I always wondered how they did it so quick in Ireland.

Like others have said it's mainly cultural as here in Ireland traditionally the funeral would be over and done with within three days. My mil died suddenly on the Saturday night seven years ago and even with a post mortem she was removed to the church on the Tuesday night and buried on Wednesday morning. However with population increases and lack of priests and more people opting for cremation etc it's being pushed out more and more as well and you'd occasionally now hear of five or six days or more when it would be two or three so I'd say in a few years it will definitely be a week or more.

My mother died on a Saturday early evening, the funeral directors collected her Sun early morning, returned her Sun evening and she was at home with us until Wed morning when the funeral was held. Family and friends stayed the entire time, at no stage was she alone. It was incredibly comforting, the Monday night was the wake when approx 150 people were there for prayers, food, memories and chat. I'm in Ireland and this is normal here. The funeral directors are local and they took care of everything.

I'm from NI but lived in England for 8 years. I remember being really taken aback the first time I realised there was such a big difference in funeral timings. Someone I'd previously worked with passed away on a Tuesday so I was expecting the funeral to be on the Friday but it was 5 weeks later. Two-three days is very much the norm here; my GM passed away a couple of years ago in the very early hours of a Friday morning and a couple of older relatives thought it was a real delay that her funeral wasn't until the Monday.

In NI do you ever have the problem of people wanting to attend but not being able to make travel arrangements fast enough?

@2Old2Tango what proportion of people are buried vs cremated there?
Just saw it mentioned up thread and wondered.
As an Irish person I can only think of 4 cremations I've been to off the top of my head. All the rest have been burials

Its definitely an Irish thing, my dad was brought home to his bedroom, we had visitors and friends round for the two days and I actually stayed with him for most of the time.
I think that funeral hones are becoming more the norm with younger folk coming up so possibly I'm old fashioned, but I love the last chance at togetherness we all had as his family and friends.
We actually had a good laugh talking about old times and he would have loved it.

I'm so sorry for your loss

If there is someone who shouid be there that can't in time we can speak to the funeral director to get it delayed.

I don't know but it's crazy in England. I can never get my head around the fact that a funeral could be a month after the person is dead, or delayed to 'minimise inconvenience' for people attending.

A funeral is the last piece of respect you can offer the deceased so in my mind it is respectful to lay them to rest (or cremate) quickly. Not have them hanging around on ice.

Also for the bereaved, there is a limbo period between death and the funeral and they can only start moving on after the funeral.

@FredaFandango I'm in Ireland and I've only ever known two people to be waked at home and I've a massive extended family so lots of funerals (especially the past few years unfortunately). I think there is a definite urban verses rural difference.

I grew up in rural Ireland, live in Dublin now. 3 days is the norm back home, but for the last couple of funerals I have been to in Dublin it has taken about a week to arrange a funeral time in the local church.

I have only been to a handful of funeral homes, they surprised me at how nice and peaceful they are. I had always expected them to seem more clinical. The vast majority of wakes I have been to have been at the family home.

I keep telling my Dublin colleagues, I love a wake. Of course if it has been a tragic death, that is awful. But a wake at home with the deceased family... I always think it is a privilege to be able to do that for your loved one.

Where I live in England a big problem for us catholics is a lack of priests. Nowadays they are spread between two or three churches, and you can’t have a separate service, you have to use the daily Mass to piggyback on. I remember who some people were at my mum’s funeral and apparently they were just elderly parishioners who attended Mass every day.

I'm Belfast.

When my father died last year (in England) there was four weeks between death and funeral. It could have been shorter if we'd wished. I was grateful for the delay as otherwise I could not have been there (I live abroad.) His funeral was packed out. I'm sure the delay allowed plenty of other people beside myself to attend to pay their respects and I think that's a very good thing.

Not everything abroad is better.

This seems like a good thread to ask.

Do you have to be embalmed? Have all that shit done to you?

I don't want any of that.

I want to go from being dead to being in an urn as quickly as possible.

I want to be interfered with as little as possible.

I don't think so, I think the speed of it all means embalming isn't always necessary.

It’s the same In Ireland even if being cremated…they have the ceremony within 3-4 days but the actual cremation won’t happen for another week or so.

I'm Belfast too @FredaFandango

My dear friend is from NI, she can’t understand why funeral take so long here either.

Registering the death also seems part of the issue. The registry office here is open 9-3 and you have to make an appointment. Previously for a death you could just drop in.

When FIL died we had to wait two weeks to get an appointment to register the death. None of the other arrangements could be firmed up before that was done.

Less than 20 years ago when my Nana died we popped into the registry office on the way home from collecting the paper work from the hospice, waited 25 mins and registered the death.