How are funerals so much faster in Northern Ireland than in rest of the UK?

[Masaladosai]

Sadly a relative of a friend passed away in Northern Ireland recently. From sudden passing to the funeral (burial) including open casket at home took three days. Compare that to the funerals in have attended in England in the last five years - all ranged between two weeks to over a month to happen. No complicating factors (eg need for post mortem, or police investigation).
Talking with friend, it seems that funerals are often swift in N. Ireland. And they often seem to take quite a long time to happen in England (purposefully not commenting on Scotland or Wales as I have no idea re there).
Anyone got any thoughts?

It's not so much the country, as the religion.
Jews & Muslims have far quicker funerals in UK than others.
I'd love to know how it can be arranged.

DH died on Sunday night and was buried on Tuesday lunchtime. In England. Faith funeral

That's the whole of Ireland, it's usually 3 days (could be longer if post mortem) I was shocked when I went to a funeral in England it was weeks after the death, such limbo for the grieving family!

I only have experience of arranging funerals in England (my parents) and I would have hated to have them too quickly.

Neither funeral was where I lived. I had to travel to pick up the death certificate, then register the death and then talk to the undertaker. I had to liaise with other family members about dates and timings. In both cases, most attendees had to travel some distance and some booked hotels. In one case, a grandchild flew over from the US to attend.

I also wanted to make sure that the funerals were as my parents would have liked. That meant choosing hymns, readings, flowers, coffin etc. I needed time to think about those and would have hated to be rushed into making quick decisions.

Obviously that could have been avoided by my parents having been planned their own funerals but the planning process gave me a great deal of comfort and helped with the grieving process.

As someone from NI, I personally think it's too fast (in certain circumstances).

I'm very fortunate to have never had to deal with any death involving a child or younger person, under tragic circumstances, only ever older relatives and I hope to Christ I never have to.

I cannot imagine having to bury a child in 3 days; surely you're still in a state of shock and devastation? I know it's personal preference, I totally get that and respect anyone's choice to do it this way, but if I were 'advised' by a funeral director to have a burial only 3 days after, would I be forced to oblige?

Even if it were DH, I don't think my mind would be in the right place to accept that he'd been buried/cremated not even a week after he'd been here.

Again I just want to reiterate this isn't judgement in any way, just my own thoughts.

I know of 2 funerals in NI (a couple). They lived in a small village, and were not Catholic. One died Wednesday morning, the funeral was Friday afternoon. The other died on a Friday and was buried on the Sunday, which was a great surprise to us.

Quite honestly, we planned my mother's funeral the night she died. We just knew her favourite psalms/hymns, her favourite colour for the flowers etc. I'd have hated to have to wait for weeks.

I do think there's a rising trend for cremation in Ireland and that delays the funerals somewhat as there's a wait for a booking.

You wouldn't have to do anything you weren't comfortable with. Just because something's traditional, you can have things however you want to.

That’s good to know 🙂

I'm in NI. My dad's funeral was 3 days after his death back in 2010 and that was with a PM. My mum died last year, no PM, and we waited 10 days. This was much longer than the norm, but to be honest I was glad of the breathing space, especially since I was the one organising the funeral this time. I honestly don't think I could have sorted everything in 3 days and am now wondering how everyone else manages it!

If immediate family are abroad, the funeral is often a day or two later than the norm to give them time to get home and catch up with themselves etc.

But because the quick funerals are the norm, we tend to go into autopilot once the death is announced and book flights etc straight away so often there's no need for a delay either.

Where abouts are you? I live in an urban area and the only time I heard of someone being Waked in the funeral home was a friends granny,they were protestant,every other wake (Catholic or protestant) has been in the person / relatives home. I've been to 3 wakes in the past 2 months.
Definitely a culture thing and everyone attends.

I remember my sister in law ( in England) her granny died and they went on holidays a few days later I couldn't believe it - her funeral took like 6 weeks! And it was family only like 20 people.

Also NI, my mum died on a Tuesday lunchtime, she went for post mortem and we had her back in the house by lunchtime the following day, waked over 2 nights and buried on Friday morning. Cousin was one of the first to be phoned as he was in New Zealand and he called into the house on Thursday night.

I think the funeral directors in NI/Ireland are just really efficient. They literally organise everything. I don't know if it's the same elsewhere.

My dad was exactly 3 days from death to funeral. We waited an extra day with my mum to avoid my DC's 3rd birthday 😢

Thanks to everyone contribute to this thread, it's very interesting. Condolences to all who have lost a dear one.

Hi, I posted earlier at being from Belfast and waking at home.
I think it's more of a family belief or practice, we are Methodist and all our family come home, my Catholic friends also, but I do notice younger folk coming up aren't doing it so much.

To the poster earlier, you would never be made to have the funeral in 3 days, that's just tradition but the funeral director would go by your wishes if you needed longer.

That was and still is our practice in Co Antrim x

I don't think it's necessary to actually register the death prior to the funeral in Ireland. A medical certificate pronouncing death and the cause is enough to proceed. However the death needs to be registered within three months. That system must help speed things up I'd say.

Unexplained or sudden deaths etc. may require a PM, but again even if the cause is not established, an interim death certificate can be issue to allow funeral, and when the inquest gives a verdict, then a full certificate is issued.

I think death is very much a cultural thing in Ireland. There are announcements on local radio every day listing those in the locality who have died. Then everyone for miles around knows and can go to the funeral. For many it's an opportunity to meet with neighbours friends and locals. There is no such thing as an invitation to a funeral, or stressing over whether to go or not, All Are Welcome!

The deaths are (in the vast majority of cases) listed on RIP.ie, a portal for all deaths in the Republic anyway. So you can go to all the funerals you want. And more often than not, the funeral is live streamed from the church or crematorium for those unable to attend in person.
RIP.ie - most recent death notices | rip.ie

Funerals are a very big social thing in Ireland, and although there is a lot of sadness of course, it is a gathering of family, friends, colleagues, neighbours etc. to support the family of the deceased.

Sounds like you aren't too far away from me!

My dms timeline- she passed on the Tuesday, death certificate ready Friday, registered it that day and used the ‘say it once service’. Booked in with the Coop to decide funeral service, waited for priest to get back from holiday. Took about 3 weeks in all. It’s also the prayers, hymns, service and permission from the other churchyard. She was being buried with df.

I remember we weren't allowed to talk when the deaths were being read out in my granny's house,then the night of hers we all sat and listened for it.

Funeral times is the website in the North,possibly covers donegal too?

We had quite a long gap with my DM, set by us. It was just post Covid when funerals were opening out again, and she had a massive circle of friends. It was a huge do. My Aunts and I were so overwhelmed by grief (it was very unexpected) that organising her funeral took longer than would be considered usual. My DM wouldn't have cared less, she loved us dearly and would have wanted it to be right for us. I don't agree that you're in limbo until after the funeral, I was grieving both before and after the event and it took months before I stopped crying every day.

Each situation is different.

Some people don't even have a funeral. A lady I know didn't attend her husband's cremation - nobody did. That's the way they wanted it.

In Ireland it's an absolute cultural norm to be so fast. I love the idea of an open casket but it's abhorrent to most in the UK!

Where I am, catholic country, it's generally 3 days. 1st day pronounced dead, 2nd day the dead person is dressed and prepared and brought to a small building where relatives will sit with the body and friends and family will come and say goodbye and offer condolences to the relatives. 3rd day funeral.
Unless a violent death occurs I don't think any embalming goes on.

When my mother died in 2016 and when my father died in 2018(England ), it was administration that delayed their burials. It took a week for my mother's GP and over a week for my father's hospital doctor to issue the death cert which had to be collected. (Lots of frustrating phone calls trying to find out when it would be issued) Then it took another week to get an appointment with the registrar. You can't have a burial or cremation before the registrar gives you the form to allow burial. The law gives you five days to register the death but in neither case was it possible. We were fortunate that we were able to organise burials for about three weeks after their deaths.

I’m not from NI, and that’s how I feel too. My husband was under 50 when he died suddenly and unexpectedly at home, on a Monday morning. If he’d been cremated before the end of the week then I think I’d still be suffering from trauma now. The first day was a blur, and just letting his parents, our families, and friends know. It took a week for the results of the postmortem and a death certificate to be issued. The coroner called to explain the findings and cause of death, which was also an important part of the grieving process for me. While waiting for a death certificate I could provisionally book and plan the funeral. I had two sessions over 3 or 4 days with the celebrant, making sure the service was right.

So as it was, the three weeks between him during and his funeral was just the right amount of time for me to come to terms with the fact he was dead, and to plan a funeral broadly the way I think he’d have liked it. It also meant that it was well attended, with people travelling from round the world to be there. 3 days, for me, would have been far too quick, and unhealthy. But everyone’s different