Sister is in a dilemma and I have no advice

[Lilllypad11]

To preface, I’m useless with relationship advice. My sisters been on 7 dates with a doctor, she likes him A LOT. They get on and have a lot in common. Issues she’s having are that he can take up to a day or two to reply to her messages, which obvs creates inconsistency. He said from the off he’s a bad texter. But she didn’t think it was this bad.

They went on a date and had a make out session in his car, for like an hour according to her. So she texted him to say thanks for bringing her home etc on the Tuesday evening. He then replied on Friday saying that his aunty in another country had passed away and he was unable to text back sooner. She said they normally always plan another date while they’re together but this time he didn’t ask. She now doesn’t know how or whether to ask if he’s free this week.

I’ve told her to just ask the worst he can say is I’m not free no.

thoughts?

It’s a bit crass when he’s recently bereaved. He could be comforting the parent whose sister has died.

She’d be better asking how he is and sending condolences than asking for a date.

Personally, I'd wait. If he's keen, he'll be in touch.

She's not been to his house?

How confident is she that he's single? Has she been to his house?

He’s married, obviously.

They went for dinner and he picked her up and dropped her off and made out at the end. It wasn’t a date in the car

Yeah, he’s married.

Doubtful he’s a doctor too - more likely a scammer!

Yeah that’s not normal

Either he’s not that into her or he’s married

They went out for food and got dinner and then made out in the car. Not like it was a date in the car

He’s not married lol , thr paranoia on here. Someone will be along to say another woman. He’s busy. As most docs are and bereaved. She should just text him and ask how he is, how everything is, she will give him space for his family and to text her when he’s free and feeling like meeting up.

😂

You sound young and naive - just like the OP and her sister.

Who above the age of 17 has a make out session in the car?!

Well something seems off.

Yes he could be married or in a existing relationship with the erratic messages.

You know the saying about if they are into you, you know.

He seemed to be erratic even before the family member passed, so it doesn't seem new.

If this was my sister I would be telling her to out him on the back burner and see how it plays out. It's early days, so it could just fizzle out really.

Someone who's married or living with a partner ?

Hes not single.i can guarantee that. And probably not a doctor either 🤣

To be fair, I did not that long ago.

I'm 51. 😂

I'm glad I did as after 30 minutes he gave me the creeps so I said good night and left. (he was trying his luck to come home with me ).

So, yip it does happen.

He could be not single, that's for sure. It sounds paranoid but if you know his name then he should be very visible on Google as being a doctor.

Forgive me if I'm old fashioned but grown adult professionals of high esteem shouldn't really be 'making out' with people in cars for an hour? Is he 17?!
Surely you'd go to either ones home, or even suggest a hotel which again seems a bit suss but more adult than car groping? It sounds like he may have something to hide.

The bereavement could be true regardless so I'd park the suspicion about that at the door. It's more that he's lying about his relationship status I'd be concerned about.

Is this actually you OP?

I'd just leave it. His actions are telling you his intentions

I know some people are bad at texting, but generally you know when a man is keen.

Is she sure he’s single? Been to his home? How did they meet, online? I think I’d be doing a bit of digging to find out more about him.

I'm in camp 'something doesn't add up'

I'd step back and wait for him to contact her.

What do you feel doesn’t add up? They went for dinner, he warned her from the off he’s a bad texter and disorganised.

He sat her down on the last date and said he’s looking for something long term and wants a partnership it’s just that because he runs his own practice his life’s extremely busy. Which is fair. But it’s just like he says one thing and does another .

People who are married, but not to the other person in the car, that’s who.

Okay op, we get he took her out for dinner.

What have the other dates involved?
Does she know him in real life? Any friends/associates in common?
Has she been to his home?

If a guy really likes you, he'll chase you. If he's just not that into you, he won't.

That is the bottom line.