Sister is in a dilemma and I have no advice

[Lilllypad11]

To preface, I’m useless with relationship advice. My sisters been on 7 dates with a doctor, she likes him A LOT. They get on and have a lot in common. Issues she’s having are that he can take up to a day or two to reply to her messages, which obvs creates inconsistency. He said from the off he’s a bad texter. But she didn’t think it was this bad.

They went on a date and had a make out session in his car, for like an hour according to her. So she texted him to say thanks for bringing her home etc on the Tuesday evening. He then replied on Friday saying that his aunty in another country had passed away and he was unable to text back sooner. She said they normally always plan another date while they’re together but this time he didn’t ask. She now doesn’t know how or whether to ask if he’s free this week.

I’ve told her to just ask the worst he can say is I’m not free no.

thoughts?

Has she actually checked him to the photo of the doctor he is supposed to be ?

How you meet him?

Christ, Op - you've come on here as you supposedly have 'no advice to give' but you're being so defensive!

I thought the exact same as others - he's married or in a relationship already and hence not available for contact often.

Also agree that 'making out' in a car is for teenagers. Truly ick-worthy.

If she has any sense she'll get on the internet stalking. He should have a profile somewhere that helps put a few pieces together.

sounds like he is either married, or dating loads of woman and can’t keep up texting them all. He probably just waits to see which woman texts him first, and thinks that the keener the women are the more likely it is he can bed them. I would ditch him asap.

Can't help thinking that if he was interested he would have replied sooner.

"Thanks for bringing me home"-there was surely an opportunity there?!

I woul have disappeared after a make out session in a car. To me, most adults are well passed that.

Perhaps he was hoping to be invited in rather than an hour in the car?

His aunt is alive sounds like a scammer

OP, on the assumption that your sister lives in the UK:

If your sister's date is qualified to practice as a GP, as opposed to a hospital doctor or consultant, does he work for an NHS practice or for a private practice?

She should be able to find his name on the GMC GP Register and also if he is working as a locum GP.

You've said "he runs his own practice".

Not many NHS GP's these days work as sole practitioners. So if he "runs his own practice" does he work in private practice or is he a sole practitioner with an NHS GP practice?

If he's a partner in an NHS practice he'll be listed as a director of that practice and your sister can search for him here, on Companies House site:

https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk

His name will likely also be listed on the practice's website.

NHS hospital consultants who also do private work in private clinics or who spend some of their week working in private hospitals are likely to be listed as directors of their own Limited Company. Their wives are also sometimes directors of the Ltd set up for their husband's private clinical work.

Before worrying about whether or when he's going to text again or if she should text him, I think she first needs to establish that this man is who he says he is, that he lives where he says he lives, where he works and in what capacity,

And also why they go to restaurants and why he's not suggested they spend an evening at his place.

But it’s just like he says one thing and does another
you haven't given any examples of this? He says he is a bad texter and he is. She just needs to decide if she is happy with dating without texting.

However, I would say it is normal to visit one another's homes within the first 7 dates so am also concerned he isn't quite telling the truth.

On the off chance he's legit, tell your DSis to get used to being left on her own and having plans 'hang fire'. Most doctors live extremely 'busy' lives and due to the nature of the job (in a lot of disciplines) family/partners have to take 2nd place to the needs of patients and on call hours. Frankly, I'd probably only date a dermatologist lol.

On the off chance he may NOT be legit, I'd sit back and see if he contacted me. If he did, I'd probably try to find a way to arrange a date for a time when most married men would find it harder to escape the house, like a Sunday afternoon. And I'd try to arrange it to be on 'his' turf.

Best case scenario he’s just not into her. Remember the last time you were interested in someone and left them on read for days? I don’t.

If he’s a GP, then it’s easy to find their details on the surgery’s website. Most have a bio of their doctors, although may not give family details.

I never believe the “I’ve been too busy to reply” excuse. How long does it take to send at least a one line reply? As for being bad at texting that sounds like nonsense. He has fingers and can read and write so therefore he can text.
An old but true quote from a Jilly Cooper novel:
”Men are rarely too busy for sex. It’s love that buggers up their schedules”

This thread doesn't sit well, and doesn't really ring true.
If it is real, the OP and her dsis sound very trusting or at best naive.

I thought only American teenagers "made out", UK adults have sexual intercourse or fuck or shag.

So they have sex in a car parked outside her HOME ???

This.

When the aunt died was she holding his phone and he couldn't therefore text her?

I'm not convinced about the dead aunty. I'd bet my house that he's married, though.

Why wouldn't she invite him in? Very odd. Is she 16?

Saying right from the off I'm a bad texter is him seeing what he can get away with. He should be interested and keen at the beginning..

Or being careful as doesn't know him..

Just flagging the creation of a beautiful new word, timeously

That's not a new word, but it is a good word.

If he's married, would he not need a penis beaker to wash away the smell of his girlfriend before he got home ?
Just saying...