Sister is in a dilemma and I have no advice

[Lilllypad11]

To preface, I’m useless with relationship advice. My sisters been on 7 dates with a doctor, she likes him A LOT. They get on and have a lot in common. Issues she’s having are that he can take up to a day or two to reply to her messages, which obvs creates inconsistency. He said from the off he’s a bad texter. But she didn’t think it was this bad.

They went on a date and had a make out session in his car, for like an hour according to her. So she texted him to say thanks for bringing her home etc on the Tuesday evening. He then replied on Friday saying that his aunty in another country had passed away and he was unable to text back sooner. She said they normally always plan another date while they’re together but this time he didn’t ask. She now doesn’t know how or whether to ask if he’s free this week.

I’ve told her to just ask the worst he can say is I’m not free no.

thoughts?

They’ve only been on a few dates! Not all of us drop our knickers before marriage 😆

Honestly, the lack of texting to me would normally signal a lack of serious interest but with his job he could be working long hours and be exhausted. So if he's genuinely who he says he is that's probably something she'll need to accept at least initially. But it would make me cautious.

I'd message and ask how he is and how his family are holding up etc and be supportive but I wouldn't be asking for another date. At the end of the day he'll either be keen and he'll suggest it when he's ready, or he's about to gradually disappear in which case she'll know soon enough.

Dating is so hard all she can do is wait and let him show her who he is and act accordingly. I'd suggest she tries to keep herself busy otherwise so she's doing fun things with lovely people who care about her and isn't sitting waiting by the phone.

That's what you took from my post?
obviously I'm raising concerns that he might not be entirely single, since she doesn't really know much about him.

What a strange comment and emoji - do you not go to your friend’s houses?

He’s not that interested in her

A lucky bastard?

google him, if he's got his own practice it will take 2 minutes to find out if he's singe

What do you feel doesn’t add up? They went for dinner, he warned her from the off he’s a bad texter and disorganised

IME, if a man is really interested, nothing will stop him from contacting you. Only incels and people not really arsed tend to have very long stretches between texts.

Agree that if he were really into her, he would find the time to text. It literally takes seconds.

He’s married. You know that, right? We’re all telling you.

Follow him and knock on the door in the evening Do you have the address?

He’s either married or Danny Zuko.

Dr's can work very long shifts. It won't work. Your sister needs someone more married to their phone. This guy is not a massive texter. This will always bother your sister. Best to walk away now.

Pretty much what I’ve told her

Jesus wept

I don't know if he did but your sister will when she finds out the doc is already in a relationship/married 😔

My biggest fear would be him being in a relationship already . You can normally find lots if info online from someone , have you done a proper dig up on him ?

Is he a GP ..?

I presumed he works in a hospital.

You can look up if a doctor is registered on the GMC website.

He may not even BE a genuine doctor, but could just be saying it. For all we know he could work in the local corner shop.

incel literally means involuntary celibate so i don't think your post makes sense

I guess you’re thinking of the little bios GP surgeries have on their website, but this is hardly foolproof. My DH is a GP, his bio/profile thing does not mention whether he’s married or has a family. Same with several of his colleagues.

It is possible that it simply is that he isn't good at texting. I think my time frames would be similar. I think I would be slow to text if I was keen on someone - too worried about getting the texts exactly right

Dr's work really long hours, this is to be expected. I would text him and ask, when are we meeting up next?

Rockin and rollin and what not?

It screams scam to me, with a dollop of Walter Mitty.

or he’s married.

or, if he is genuine, their communications expectations don’t match.

If he runs his own practice you’d be able to find him easily online and see if he actually is a Dr. It takes 30 seconds to reply to a text so I’m always immediately suspicious of people who take days and days to reply.