Sister is in a dilemma and I have no advice

[Lilllypad11]

To preface, I’m useless with relationship advice. My sisters been on 7 dates with a doctor, she likes him A LOT. They get on and have a lot in common. Issues she’s having are that he can take up to a day or two to reply to her messages, which obvs creates inconsistency. He said from the off he’s a bad texter. But she didn’t think it was this bad.

They went on a date and had a make out session in his car, for like an hour according to her. So she texted him to say thanks for bringing her home etc on the Tuesday evening. He then replied on Friday saying that his aunty in another country had passed away and he was unable to text back sooner. She said they normally always plan another date while they’re together but this time he didn’t ask. She now doesn’t know how or whether to ask if he’s free this week.

I’ve told her to just ask the worst he can say is I’m not free no.

thoughts?

Is this really you, and not your sister, OP?

You can easily check if he's really a doctor by looking on the GMC website.

You can also check his social media to see if he's married or in a relationship.

They’ve been for dinner every time. She picks the place and he meets up with her there. They’re a bit early on to know friends and associates it’s not a full blown relationship and no neither have been to each others homes, again seems too soon for that.

Yeah he’s a doctor. shes checked on the GMC register. He’s got his own practice.

So he's a GP?

Yes

She's his piece on the side.

You and your sister must be extremely close. I don't think my brother would update me on all of this!

No harm in sending a message - was just thinking of you, how are you?

Yeah... his aunt didn't die.

A sick relative. That old chestnut 🤔

Married doctor, people have spelt it put for you and you've not picked this up. Also because of his job, he won't be able to text immediately back like a teenager. Hours or even days can go by before a Dr. can answer personal texts.

If he was keen and was looking for a long term relationship she wouldn’t be left hanging like this, bereavement or not.
He's not that into her. Or he’s not single.

Your sister is just providing cheap and available sex for him.

So how old is this fabulous GP? I reckon he isn’t single. Does she know his address? 7 dates is a lot for no one to go to anyone’s home, does your sister live at home still?

Married. He keeps his burner phone at work, which is why he doesn't text back timeously.

Not sure why you keep saying they went to dinner when people suggest they might be married. Plenty of married men take their mistresses out to dinner, they just choose restaurants where they are unlikely to meet someone they know.

And if single, men are 'bad texters' only if they are not that interested.

If he's genuinely a doctor who is registered by the GMC, he should be easy to research to see if he's married etc. A friend was completely fooled by a "doctor", using someone else's name. She even stayed with him in the on-call room at the hospital. He was a HCA. We checked him out when she'd been seeing him for a year and found him under a similar name on SM. He immediately owned up to deception. Pretending to be a doctor seems popular on OLD.

He's obviously married, why are you so dead set on him not being? It's classic behaviour of someone who can't keep in touch regularly because they are at home with their wife and kids. Are you even sure he's using the correct name? He could have picked his local GP off the medical register.
Regardless, are you ("your sister") really invested in this relationship? You should raise your bar. At the beginning of a new relationship you should both be really excited and wanted to see each other regularly. You should both be excited to keep in touch in between.

"Aunty in another country died".

Yeah, ....err no.

Bin him off.

This one will always have excuses.

That's exactly what I was thinking!

Most odd. A lingering kiss goodbye after being dropped off but a snogging session for an hour is downright awful.

You can always search his new to see if he's registered as a doctor on the GMC website.

https://www.gmc-uk.org/registration-and-licensing/the-medical-register#searchTheRegister

make out session in car perfectly normal! Not everyone lives alone or in perfect circumstances that invite company at any given hour (marriage aside!!)

Hmm I work with doctors they do have access to their phones at multiple points throughout the day so him not texting for days at a time is suspect.

Especially not to reply after the ‘make out sesh in the car’ he obvs wasn’t at work then so why no reply after such a romantic encounter? Oh cos he’s probably doing bath and bed with his kids..

I’m a GP.
It’s a very busy job if you’re a partner, especially if you’re full time. But without doubt there is time to send text messages. If he’s not messaging her, it’s because he doesn’t really want to. Or he can’t, because he’s married.

I was coming on to say something doesn't feel right. I would have guessed married or not invested.

Does he use social media, has he never invited her to his home, if he's a GP how often are they making weekend plans?

He then replied on Friday saying that his aunty in another country had passed away and he was unable to text back sooner.

Ha- what a load of crap.