Would like to know how I should have / can handle this situation which I'm sure plenty of parents have experienced.
My DS age 3 (3.9 so nearly 4) ran like the clappers across a very busy road today. We were just leaving his childminders and walking down her small driveway bit. I was doing up his bag, then suddenly he just bolted out across the road. It's a very busy road (B road?) usually streaming with traffic, bus route etc, especially busy at that time of day. By some stroke of miracle luck there was a gap in the traffic as he ran and he reached the other side unharmed. I shouted stop really loudly as he ran but he completely ignored me. Obviously it was awful and he could have been killed.
For context, he's always been a bolter and a very lively energetic boy. I had him on a bag with reigns when he was smaller and still hardly take my eyes off him and often feel on edge and unable to turn my back like I see other parents sometimes do. He will do silly things. I've been taking him to childminders with me on foot or in the bus recently (London) so haven't used the buggy since he was 3.5. I've been gradually trying to trust him more, with things like letting him go a few metres away safely when it feels safe, eg inside a museum, or not holding my hand if he doesn't want to if we are in certain settings like a pavement on a quiet street. Eg I used to hold his hand tight up until he was inside the front door of childminders, but now I let him run up her driveway himself. Normal expectations for a child at nearly 4.
I've always held his hand next to roads or on pavements and been teaching him about stopping, looking etc. I thought he was starting to get a bit more "sensible" and that I could trust him slightly more.
I was so shocked and frightened today I thought I need to make him realise what he did was never to be repeated, so I spoke very sternly towards him and properly "told him off" saying you must NEVER do that etc. His response was to say "I don't like it" (mummy sounding cross) and not listen to me. He put his hands over his ears.
I don't usually "tell him off" in a cross tone and generally prefer using a gentle but firm tone. I'm a teacher and use similar techniques so I never shout. The only exception to the rule is in health and safety situations like today when I shouted stop, but instead of shocking him in a good way, it fell on deaf ears! Also my telling off was very passionate and cross because I deliberately wanted him to realise the importance of the lesson. I thought that given I never speak to him like that normally he might be shocked into hearing the lesson.
Unfortunately it seems he didn't learn a thing and now I feel how can I trust it not to happen again. Next time we might not be so lucky.
How do you get through to them at this age about this stuff? How should I handle this?