I just said "Sausages"

[SlightlyJaded]

So, yeah...

I just said "Sausages" in the stupid, growly "That's Life" 'talking dog' voice (you'd have to be old to know what I'm talking about) to the Ocado delivery man, and now I can never order from Ocado again.

I don't know why I said it. I don't think I've ever said it out loud in my life before. I was about three when it was on TV and didn't even know I'd stored it in my brain.

I glanced in a bag and saw some sausages and it just came out.

Delivery man was quite young and fit and looked at me very briefly like I was mad. And then didn't react at all - which was worse. We both sort of pretended nothing happened.

"Sausages". In THAT voice.

FFS

Oh yes! One of the most memorable ads!

Watch until the end (Bodyform also gets mentioned), Rock Profile (skits on musicians), best thing Matt Lucas and David Walliams ever did.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lrLO0F-nKYs

Hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣 I am laughing out loud in the middle of the night. When I saw the title I read the title in that voice!!!

I'm always saying SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE RANGE about whatever singer is currently on trend and noone gets it. It causes me massive grief

This thread reminded me that when football loving ds was little, I would tell him that if he didn't drink up his milk he would grow up to play for Accrington Stanley. And yes, I did the accent.

I'm insomniac in the USA and this has given me the best laugh I've had for ages, but I'm having to stay very quiet in order not to wake DH up - and he's American so the sausage-saying dog will mean nothing to him. Thanks for this!

Fabulous!

Once the OP moves house, she should become vegetarian just to make sure this doesn't happen again

I was at a dinner once where one of the guests was a Deputy Ambassador.
I whispered this to my friend sitting next to me and we got absolutely hysterical, trying to do the silent laughing thing.
He had to excuse himself in the end and go to the lavatory because he could hardly breathe

Let us not forget "chewy mints? CHEWY MINTS? 'as tha gone soft, lad?" 😆

oh god, i'm ticking all these off in my head as you remind me that I also say all of these things.. WTF

and my favourite.. 'it's in the saaaaaaannnnndd' in THAT voice 😱

Pea and ham - from a chicken?

DH and I say this every time we see it on a menu 😂

These have made me feel much better this morning. I am starting to come around to the idea that Ocado ManChild needed cultural education and that i was, in fact, providing a valuable service.

Holding fire on house move to see how I feel tomorrow and in the meantime, making a shopping list of things he 'ought to know'

Sau-sa-ges TICK

'Language Timothy' will require him to say something sweary, so I may have to provoke him first. UNDER CONSIDERATION

Shake n Vac: Yes. Could do the shake and wiggle walk into the house PENDING

'Secret Lemonade Drinker'. Might get DH to cover this one off. TBC

'Cadbury Flake'. Struggling as i don't have a bath outside or a Gekko but could fashion DDog into Gekko like creature using green tarp, and get her to sit on my shoulder whilst i recline on the wall singing "only the crubliest flakey...". PROS: involves buying Flakes. CONS: The bath/gekko conundrum

'It's in the saaaaaaand'. Won't fly unless someone is mixing cement nearby and I can somehow - artful dodger style - extract his van key from him and fling into cement mixer. BACK BURNER

I might scratch my chin and say "Jimmy Hill" if he claims to have completed the entire list without substitutions

And as I parting shot, I could call out "If you see Sid, tell him".

Any more for any more?

You could offer out a trebor mint on your next delivery...

Now that's clever!

Oh dear, he'll probably take a deep breath when you start all this. To which you can say "TUUUNNNESSS"

Offer him a "canny bag a Tchoooda"

@SlightlyJaded
Any chance you could work in "I'll have a P Bob" ?

Order some coffee for your delivery, and then say…

”Gold Blend would be too good for my guests”

Offer him a fruit pastille, whilst betting he can't put it into his mouth without chewing it. This will be a more immersive learning experience if he happens to look like a Harlem Globetrotter.

You’ve brightened my day up, so funny! It’s the only way to say sausages

Anyone old enough to remember “pastille picking papa, lay those pastilles down”? (Obviously I’m not old enough, I’ve just heard rumours about it 👀, ahem)

In our house we use the Patsy Cline and Gnarls Barkley songs interchangeably for gravy.

Has anyone done Club biscuits yet? I saw TRIIIIIOOOO upthread?
If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuits, join our club (club!!)