Has your parent turned in to a miserable old bigot since retiring?

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Mine has! She used to be quite hip, she went to Glasto and dropped acid in her youth, was good company etc.

Since retirement she's started watching GB News and now talks endlessly about boats, refugees, drains on the NHS, how people should "go back home" etc. Its pretty unrecognisable. She makes comments on same sex relationships even though she has gay friends "thay are different" apparently.

The irony is she just asked me to take her to the local asian supermarket so she could stock up, then turning her nose up to half the stuff in there and making tutting sounds.

I'm at a loss, calling her out just ends up in circular discussions, I'm not going to go NC over it, just want a whinge really. Anyone else's parents getting belligerent and hard to be around?

Mine has a wine problem and seems to think her opinion is the only one, my child is manipulative and I am a hoarder anything to deflect from her sad narc alcoholic tendencies tbh. She needs to get out get friends and a hobby and leave me alone. I get moaned at for not visiting or phoning, I don’t tell her things as I get attacked. Or they get used against me she literally will scream at me.

Can’t see anyone else’s point of view, mental health is nothing, because she hasn’t suffered it, autism etc wasn’t there in her day so therefore is bad parenting, she judges people’s clothes, parenting and actively says she doesn’t like fat people. I am fat - I have no thyroid but she smokes and drinks and spews bile continuously. Anyway felt good to get that off my chest. Fun times parents eh 🙄

Jeez. I’m not too many years off retirement. I hope on my last working day I don’t get that switch flipped that turns me into a raving racist bigot, who also interferes in my kids’ lives, barges into their houses uninvited and rearranges their furniture, demands lifts everywhere instead of buses and trains, and all the other crap that retired parents are reported to do on MN.

Well I'm retired and I get more left of centre every day.

I do have some friends of my age who've got into GB news though, and I find it harder and harder to spend time with them.

I'd be wondering about possible dementia, personally, if this is out of character.

How old is she OP?

Bigot no, but my dad got very very dull. My DM forced him out volunteering and he got better.

Now my DM is very elderly and everyone she socializes with gets all their news from the Daily Mail. Sometimes it drives her mad and sometimes she tells me far far too much about her feelings on Megan and Harry.

Shes young, 60!! It's not dementia, it's like she's got too much time on her hands and it's turning all her thoughts sour.

I've suggested loads of nice things she might like to do, she has a husband, some friends (I don't know how), she's well, plenty of money, she could be having the time of her life!

I had a great aunt who was like this and Mum would talk about how awful and draining she was, and now she's morphing in to her. Just getting more right wing and hateful by the month.

I have an (older) friend who retired a couple of years ago in her early 60s. I’m seeing similar with her too. She’s not got anything to fill her time except swim twice a week and go on a bike ride on a Sunday. I think she’s spending way more time than she used to on social media and getting caught up in conspiracy theories - something she would never have done a few years ago. She also seems to have lost her filter and say things that are very rude, again this is a big change and I really don’t like the changes in her.
She is the only retired friend that I have, the rest are friends of parents that I’m not as close to so this has come as a bit of a shock tbh.

Yes, very much so. My mother (who used to live in France, speaks at least 5 languages and has worked all over the world and used to read the Guardian) now regularly announces that she thinks that Boris Johnson is wonderful (despite her husband dying of Covid alone in hospital); reads the Daily Mail, calls the EU a bunch of unelected tyrants and blames immigration for most ills. My MIL who is equally well educated says that black people are all too arrogant since the Black Lives Matter protests and that muslims are all dirty. I call both of them out regularly for this. It's like they've been brainwashed into the cult of populism. It's weird.

No. My mum is 76 and the opposite of your mum. Friends of her age are all lovely too.

Please stop stating age as a factor for people turning into twats.

Must have always been there, but she must have more time to ruminate over things now.

I've a friend in her 40s like that. She seems to have lost all her filters since the pandemic. And she works full time.

Oh come on, we haven't had a 'let's hate on the bigoted ignorant oldies' thread for WEEKS.

@SweetFemaleAttitude I'm not blaming her age, she's young!!! I'm blaming bloody GB News and whatever other shite she's watching.
She told me the other day that "Arabs only have anal sex". I asked how the Arab countries populate as you can't get pregnant up the bum, she told me to stop being ridiculous. How do you argue with that??

I do think we become what we feed ourselves with

And that's why I don't watch gb news and prefer to live in a guardian/radio 4 echo chamber

I was bored out day during lockdown and started reading some conspiracy theories online - many hours later I was starting to doubt the moon landings honestly, it's very easy to turn into a tinfoil hat wearing loon

Hmm, well if it isn't dementia or some sort of cognitive decline, who knows?

I certainly don't think it's a normal trajectory for older people, and age is no excuse for bigotry. My parents are both in their 80s and they're not in the least bit bigoted. Neither are my other older relatives or neighbours.

It isn't an age/retirement thing, so maybe your mum has always been this way inclined and she just feels more at liberty to express it these days.

You both sound weird.

Nope. Parents in their 70s and as socialist as ever! Thank god.

My friends have got very insular in retirement, they retired early fifties. Not bigoted, as such, but their world has shrunk so so much, it’s like they are scared to leave home and do any of the stuff they used to do.

It’s all supermarket, baking, local community centre, bingo, fishing and gardening type stuff now, instead of gigs, meals out, travel. All the stuff they used to do they just stopped. And they hang out with their neighbours who are all 20-30 years older than them rather than all their friends of decades.

its really put me off retirement to be honest.

Their health is fine, they have the funds, but watching telly, baking, going to play cards at the community centre, hanging out with their very elderly neighbours is now the stuff of life for them.

they seem happy enough to be fair, although I think he is getting bored, but all their plans, all the cool stuff they wanted to do and used to do has all been put on the back burner. Watching bargain hunt is now a daily treat aa is walking round the nearest shops in the village.

whem they invite us, we always say yes, and they come to us , but if we suggest a gig or weekend away it’s an immediate no thanks. It’s really surprising how much they have shrunk their world and we are at the point of just letting them go.

It's amazing the different ways Mumsnet can be ageist!

It definately sounds a lot like "too much time on her hands" , which is a natural result of being retired I guess.

I think the world getting smaller can be an issue for some retirees. I've had to really work at expanding mine, and meeting people from all kinds of backgrounds and of all kinds of ages. Fortunately my volunteering is with refugees and asylum seekers, so I'm never going to be headed to the right!

I think retirement can shrink your world unless you work very hard combating it.

Why would going nc be a consideration just because you disagree with your mum and she annoys you Op? I find it weird that you state you're not going to, like it's a feasible option for disagreeing with how someone is.

Also pp says you become what you feed yourself with so reads the guardian. That just made me laugh.

What very narrowed view points some people seem to have, especially when it comes to Women over 50. Quelle surprise!

My mother has a very small life now, she doesn’t like to leave the house and gets funny when my father leaves the house. It’s not that she is scared of the world I suspect she just likes to drink too much and has to hide it from everyone so she can talk about how much everyone else drinks and how messy their house is.

The thing is, you have to be pretty bigoted to watch GB news for any length of time. Most people would watch a bit, see it for the bile that it is and then turn over. I don't think people are likely to get brainwashed by it unless they're already inclined to buy into that kind of narrative. Unless they have a significant cognitive impairment, in which case they might be vulnerable.