Did you get love and affection from your parents as a child?

[PennyLany]

And as a result, what type of parent are you with your DC?
Do you feel that the amount of love, attention and care that you have or haven’t received has shaped you as the adult you are today and how so?

My mother was loving and affectionate, my father uninterested but dutiful. He would give us lifts anywhere or help us with practical stuff but never really made conversation. I knew I was cherished and possibly adored but it always felt a bit conditional. They were very upwardly mobile and obsessed with what others would think. I was very aware of what i might do to bring shame on the family and was aware that I would be kicked out if I got pregnant for example. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't gone to Uni or gotten a piercing that would also fall into the 'shaming' category, which also included getting drunk or being friends with people from 'rough' estates. There were many many rules.

I was over praised by my mother, so much that it caused distrust and i dismissed her words very quickly. She was possibly compensating for my uninterested father. I was always THE cleverest and pretties and if anyone didn't adore me and fuss over me then of course it was because they were jealous. If I didn't win a medal it was because the judge was misguided or they just felt sorry for the other contestants, I was obviously the best!! I learned at a young age this was BS and found it hard to accept my very averageness. I hope I'm a bit more balanced with my kids.

My parents were very loving, though my dad much more so than my mum. This never changed and when my mum sadly passed away I was more than happy to have my dad come to live with us abroad as he was such a lovely man and wonderful grandfather.
DS was very wanted and much loved and he is very aware that's the case. I think it's helped make him become a lovely man and kind partner.

Yes I felt very wanted as an only child but there were no physical hugs given to me and my dad was a major stroke survivor so I had to be considerate as he was physically and mentally affected.

I got no affection really from my dad and over the top ‘overcompensating’ affection from my mum, very much in a ‘this is more about me and my low self worth than you’ sort of way. I am a loving parent but still quite boundaried with my dc and not over the top. No wasn’t a word in my house growing up, but my dc know that they don’t get everything they ask for. I’m affectionate, but it’s not excessive and disproportionate. So yes, I think I’m definitely this way because I’ve my childhood.

Same goes for me. Really affected me in terms of adult relationships Although, now parents are older they are getting better. But i think thats down to the affection I show my daughter.

My mum was aggressive and emotionally abusive. As a teenager she was very verbally critical and would go days either completely ignoring me or picking apart everything I did to the point I was a nervous wreck. As a younger child she was very rarely physically affectionate and preferred me to play upstairs all day, either that or she would roar at me and was physically abusive in a minor way. With my own kids I make a point of showing affection throughout the day and I take time to show interest in my teenage kids. I remember between the ages of about 13 and 18 just feeling really lost and not having anyone for guidance or support. From young childhood to when I moved out in early 20s I never felt secure or comfortable at home.
So I hope I provide those things.

When I was a baby/child, the prevailing view was that too much affection made children spoilt, and you should hide your love behind a brisk and stern exterior. She still showed us she loved us in a million different ways, and I never felt starved of affection, but she wasn’t massively huggy.

I’m very affectionate with DS, and he is still very affectionate with me, and DM has said a few times that she wished she’d felt “allowed” to be like that with me.

Yes loads. And I give my kids hugs all the time. And even at 18 and 20 they hug me too!

This. I was born in 1959, and my parents never once said they loved me (my husband said his parents were the same). They didn't need to, we KNEW we were loved by the way we were cared for.