Should a reoffending child sex offender see their child supervised?

[Coffeeeclair]

What would you do if you were the mum and this was the father of your children? Would you allow supervised contact (in a contact centre or supervised by a friend/family member)? If so, how often and for how long? Or would you stop contact altogether? What do you think would be better for your children?

Man got in trouble with the police once but reoffended a year and a half later. He's on the sex registry after possession of indecent images of children. Children featured in the pictures are 1 to 17 years old. So the whole range of childhood.
Your kids are toddlers.
He blames porn addiction and says he'd never harm a child in real life.

What would you do?
And why?

Thank you

This

While you maybe can’t legally leave the country you could move within t(e U.K.. if at all possible I’d be moving hundreds and hundreds of miles away and doing that now without telling him.

But he has harmed a child in real life by viewing those images. Does he think those children don't exist?

Say that you don't know if he is safe to be around the children and would like some support to make that decision. Say that your over riding motivation is making sure your children are completely safe.

She's trying to work out how to best navigate a system that routinely gives sex offenders contact with their children. She's smart imo and doing more than many. Clearly people on this thread don't even realise this happens - she's switched on enough to anticipate and ask for advice on what to say to minimise the risk of court ordered contact.

I couldn't. I just couldn't.

Forgive the crass image but I would be worried that, without access to these images anymore, the only thing he's got left is seeing his children. I would be sick at the thought that the visits might give him a kick.

I wouldn't even want him to have photos of them if I could prevent it!

If he's on the Sex Offender Register, he will not be allowed contact with any person under the age of 16 without supervision. If his offences involved children of your DC's age, on line or otherwise, it is unlikely he will be given access until he can prove he has been rehabilitated. Refusing the course you mentioned will count against him.

Well done for seeking advice and support in how to best navigate a system that doesn’t seem to prioritise child safety. I’m sorry you’ve had some harsh comments here from people who don’t understand some of the challenges.

There really should be some sort of law which automatically removes parental responsibility from someone convicted of a child sex offence.

I wouldn’t allow contact (if possible) and I’d like to think my children would be grateful of this in the future

Absolutely not.

The mothers main responsibility is to safeguard her children.

A sex offender...regardless of whether it's 'only' pictures ( even though this is still a giant red flag to possible escalating sex offending ) he's still a risk to any child.

Of course he's going to say ' I'd never hurt a child 'in real life' ...however, him viewing children being abused IS harming a child 'in real life' as without these pervs these children wouldn't be used like this.

Absolutely no contact...he's lost the right to be around anyone's children.

So here's the thing. And hear me out. I have actually walked this walk.
He's been charged, right? He's out on bail/investigation is going on, am I correct He will likely be found guilty and sentenced.
The moment he is found guilty/sentenced you apply to remove or severely limit PR. If the family court has, before its eyes, hard evidence of the father's guilty verdict (attend his sentencing hearing! Get the transcript! You will need this as evidence https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/65c1ff1663a23d000dc8225a/EX107_GN_0224.pdf), they will remove PR or at least severely limit it. It doesn't matter if he receives a custodial sentence or does time in the big house. Guilt is guilt. And proof of his crime will aid in removing his PR. You'll have to apply to the family courts to remove PR. You would be very wise to do this.
Your children can decide, as they grow up, if they want contact with their dad. For now, your role is to safeguard them. You can't care if they are unhappy with not seeing dad. Dad's dangerous. They are children and can't possibly understand that their dad is a harmful person. And it's not their responsibility to carry this right now. But it's your responsibility to barricade them from his harm. Removing his PR also grants you enormous freedom as a mother. You can move ANYWHERE.

Hell would freeze over first.

Absolutely fucking not.

I wouldn't allow at all until he went to court. If my children were upset about this when older I feel I could with good conscience say this was for their own good

Say no, if he takes you to court (I highly doubt it) then you throw everything you can to put obstacles in the way.

I have similar experience of this, when social services asked me this question, I immediately responded 'over my dead body will he see my children again' and they responded 'good, because if you'd have said anything else we would be putting your children on a child protection plan and potentially remove them from your care'.

Another argument you can use in court is ''if he thinks photos aren't harmful how will you stop him sharing photos of his own kids with other abusers?''

Over my dead body would this man have any sort of access to my kids or any other kids. I'd go to prison first.

They definitely don't remove PR automatically on charging.

DSDs mum abused them sexually. She went to prison for it. She still has PR despite not legally being able to see the children. When she comes off probation (she's out of prison now, serving remainer of sentence in the community) DH is legally obliged to notify her of any changes to education, health or religion.

She also was able to deny me having PR, despite the girls living with us and her losing custody, so I can't do anything medical with them, take them out the country, and if anything were to happen to DH, they'd go into care rather than stay with me and their half sister.

It's fucking batshit, but there we are.

My ex has a child abuse conviction and still has PR (I was advised by solicitors it's incredibly hard to get removed, mostly due to child support reasons) but I inform him of jack shit. My solicitor said if he tried to enforce anything the courts would laugh him out. His solicitor has clearly informed him the same as he has never bothered. I was going to grant my mum PR as she does so much for them (essentially became second parent) and was told courts would have no issues but it was going to cost a lot so I haven't bothered.

They definitely don't remove PR automatically on charging.

That’s just not remotely what I’ve stated. Please read my post. I fought a good and hard fight to remove PR. I won. And I want mothers to win what is a ridiculous fight to be having. Every solicitor deterred me.

But if you apply to remove PR via the family court and you have hard evidence of a conviction in the form of a transcript of the sentencing hearing, your chances of removing PR from a convicted sex offender are very high.

If the offender is not found guilty/sentenced and is not convicted, chances of removing PR are slim.

You must produce evidence to the family court. You can’t just say ‘he’s in prison’. You must have the sentencing hearing’s transcript which basically is Gospel.
If you don’t have hard proof of a conviction, PR will be much harder to remove.

And I get maintenance!

Please believe me. I feel so passionate about this because I know the utter shock and pain that hits when you realise how fucking uphill a battle it can be to remove PR. What makes it so hard is that most people don’t have the hard proof. The family court needs absolute evidence.
It’s insane that it should even be a fight. But it is.

PR was not removed after my first hearing. I applied again with evidence (police statements, list of charges that had been sent across by police, and cruciallly, the transcript of the sentencing hearing).

I’m sorry to go on and on. And I come across as antagonistic but it’s only because in a world full of NO YOU CAN’T, I did. And it was so hard. And I did it by myself without legal representation. I write this for all mothers who live in fear and feel imprisoned by the facade that is PR.
And although I get maintenance, I wouldn’t care if I didn’t. In fact maintenance is unaltered by loss of PR. If a parent loses PR, maintenance is still expected to be paid.

Court are likely to support supervised access unfortunately

No I wouldn’t feel comfortable with this and I’m all for rehabilitation. The fact that he reoffended would bother me a lot.

Paedophiles should have no access to any children whatsoever, including their own.