What should an 8 and 13 year old wear to funeral

[seriouslygooey]

We've had a sudden death in the family. My partners uncle. I've two kids that do not own anything smart and I haven't had the chance to get them anything. What's acceptable for children at funerals

Death is a part of life. When we shield children from events like this we only make it harder for them to process the “big” deaths.

Also dark jeans would look OK with a long sleeved top. Preferably without a giant logo. Maybe a smartish looking jumper/sweater

This is amazing! What an honour

I wouldn’t take them.

School uniform is a common choice for children this age. It will be presentable tidy and beyond that nobody cares what the children wear.

Unfortunately went to a very well attended funeral last week (as a family friend) of a much loved Nan and Great Gran, 15 Grand Children ranging from adult to early teens, and 20+ Great Grand Children. Teens through to primary age. Most of the school age children were in a variation of school uniform dark skirts or trousers, shirt/blouses with blazer or jumper/cardigan. Older boys wearing ties. All looked so smart and did their Nan proud.

Death is a part of life. When we shield children from events like this we only make it harder for them to process the “big” deaths

any evidence for this? I wouldn’t go to a partners uncles funeral usually let alone my children.

Don’t do that just over a ‘suitable’ clothes issue. Funerals are about so much and clothes worn by children are not even on the radar. If it’s a sober affair, I’d say, just avoid bright colours are you’re good. Let him go in his jeans and a plain, or ‘plain ish’ top!

This sounds ideal. So easy to pick up school shirts.

I was brought up that smart-ish and plain-ish are more important than dark for children.

Kids can wear what ever they want as long as it's not got a massive e logo on. When my mum died the boys wore black school trousers, got black polos from Asda cheap and smart. The older boy black shirt and waistcoat fro H&M. Dd black skater dress from Vinted. Mil was shocked they all in black. Mum was there closest GP and their first funeral so trying to teach them funeral etiquette. But that was my wish. I don't think it's the norm. School uniform would be perfect. Unless they feel uncomfortable in it.

You do really and you won't go wrong. Sorry for loss

Oh and I would say black or plain colour jeans are fine (some look more like chinos) but I would steer clear of blue denim and joggers if you can.

Mine wore school uniform to grandparents' funerals which took place in term time.

Do they want to go/need to go? I wouldn’t be too keen on an 8 year old going unless close family i.e. parents or GP’s.

For FIL’s DD slightly older wore a black dress I got online on sale with with tiny white print and a black cardigan she already had black tights and black boots and DS wore black school trousers a pale blue dress shirt open and black school trousers and shoes.

For my dads they both wore black school uniform trousers and black school shoes. DD wore a white blouse and DS wore a pale blue shirt.

When my uncle died I was about ten. I went in school uniform. So did my cousins.

I wouldn’t take children to a funeral unless absolutely necessary. Just my opinion though.

I think uniform is awful, sorry. I wouldn't wear a work uniform to a funeral and I wouldn't expect a teen to be in a suit with blazer and tie.

A plain black trousers, even a decent pair of jeans, plus a dark top with no logo/slogan is absolutely fine. This is what my teenage nieces wore at my dad's funeral.

I think it is important for children to go to funerals if there is a death in the family.

My boys similar ages wore tan chinos, polo T-shirt and loafers to the last family funeral we attended

@seriouslygooey
Smart casual wear style of clothes they feel relaxed comfortable in,
I feel they don't have to wear traditional black mourning clothes,
they could wear for example deep purple, wine colour grey clothes ect

If I was taking my 8 yo DS to a funeral I would put him in school trousers and shirt and then a dark jumper or coat. I would only take him to a close family members e.g. grandparent funeral.

The funeral I was at today the 8 and 13 yo boys were in tracksuits. As it was their Dad's funeral I don't think anyone cared what they wore!

Generally funerals do seem less formal now.

A funeral is no place for children, especially as they aren't even related to this person.
If you still decide to put then through this, you should dress them smart. Dark trousers with a smart shirt, either white with tie or a dark shirt that could be top button undone. A smart coat over the top should suffice. Dark coloured.
I was horrified to see someone suggested that no one dresses for funerals anymore and that jeans and a sports top is adequate. Do not listen to them, they are wrong. Really though, try and leave them with someone so they don't have to go.

How lovely!

Unfortunately DS (10) has been to a couple recently. School shoes, school trousers and a black jacket seemed appropriate.

Gosh I went to funerals throughout my childhood - I don't think going is a problem at all. I sat quietly, then read a book in a corner at the wake/chatted to aunties and uncles etc. I don't think taking them if you need them to go so you can go is in any way an issue.

School uniform, maybe without a tie might be a viable option or otherwise I think anything dark and non logoed. If you can make it to a supermarket I'd be tempted to add a plain black non sweatshirt jumper like this:

https://direct.asda.com/george/school/jumpers-sweatshirts/black-v-neck-school-jumper-2-pack/G007481754,default,pd.html?cjdata=MXxZfDB8WXww&cjevent=3a8e6085d81d11ee80c0000e0a18b8f8&utm_medium=affiliates&utm_source=cj

Do an 8 year old and a 13 year old need to go to a funeral. Or do they want to go?
Personally I’d be not thinking of them going unless they had a specially close relationship with the uncle and they wanted to go. Is it go be a cremation or burial?

Team what he has with clean dark shoes and a white shirt.
Anything tidy and clean is fine for children at a funeral and kids add reality and hope to funerals.

It is more how respectful they are. I have never seen a child behave badly - they seem to take on the mood and learn a lot about the process of life and death. So, I would take them.