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Original poster

Homeless man WWYD

113 replies

Fizbosshoes · 01/03/2024 20:48

Its more of a what you would have done as the scenario happened this afternoon.

I was on a work break and had my phone (i dont have applepay or googlepay on my phone) and some cash with me, and was about to go into a shop when I was stopped by a homeless man. He said "excuse me excuse me," and physically blocked my path by moving side to side so i wouldnt walk past, and said he was homeless and needed food and £10 towards a hostel for the night. I pointed to tesco metro, and said what do you want, I'll buy you something. And then he said he didn't want food, he wanted £20 for the hostel. And then pointed to the cash point, and said there's a cash point here.

I told him I'm buying something in the shop, I will give you some change on the way out. I bought what I wanted and I gave him £5 on the way out. He immediately asked had I got any more, and said he needed £20. And then said can I ask you a question, and I said no, and walked away.
I felt bad about it but I also felt pretty intimidated. (He was probably a foot taller than me) I told DH later, and he said he wouldn't have given him anything.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 01/03/2024 20:53

You should not have given him anything, and you shouldn't have engaged to the extent you did. That's my opinion. This man was aggressive and his behaviour is concerning. Blocking your path is absolutely not acceptable, and I would have told him firmly to back off.

NoMoreFalafelsForYou · 01/03/2024 21:13

I wouldn't have given him anything, he sounds like he was intimidating.
Blocking your way and pointing to a cash machine?
I'd have been like get the fuck out of my way!

WhateverMate · 01/03/2024 21:16

I would've told him to fuck off and try intimidating a man his own size.

KissyMissy · 01/03/2024 21:16

£20 round here gets you three wraps of crack.

2024horizons · 01/03/2024 21:17

Don't feel bad. I got cornered in Brighton in my 20s. Took my last £20 out from my bar earnings and gave it to a girl so she could get a hostel. Walked with her and got her into the car of the person who was picking her up to take her to the hostel late that night.

Went home. Mentioned it to boyfriend who was hmmm.

A few weeks later I saw her on a documentary showing the abscesses she had on her legs due to injecting heroin.

It's possible she was going to a hostel. It's also far more likely I gave her £20 and put her in a car with her drug dealer so she could score.

I mean, which hostel offers car pick ups. Its pretty obvious to me now, 21 years later.

Beezknees · 01/03/2024 21:19

I will give change to homeless people if I have any but I won't go to the cash point. There's a man in my local city centre who hangs around the bus stop all day asking people for money and he tried to guilt trip me into going to the cash point telling me no one had given him any money all day. Anyway I said no. I feel bad for them but I'm not obligated to give anyone any money.

TiredArse · 01/03/2024 21:20

Night hostels don’t charge.

longer term hostels may charge a small fee on top of what’s covered by housing benefit, but they will also be able to get benefits to cover the cost. Homeless people can claim benefits.

sleekcat · 01/03/2024 21:20

I wouldn't have given him anything. It's not very likely that he was going to spend the money or either the hostel or food.

BananaPyjamaLlama · 01/03/2024 21:21

It would have been a "No" from me. He intimidated you which was his aim and totally not ok.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/03/2024 21:23

TiredArse · 01/03/2024 21:20

Night hostels don’t charge.

longer term hostels may charge a small fee on top of what’s covered by housing benefit, but they will also be able to get benefits to cover the cost. Homeless people can claim benefits.

This. I've had people try similar but I always offer to call the shelters for them. Never had anyone take me up on it.

I do give small amounts of money knowing it's for Al or drugs because there are worse things than begging. But honest is better.

LakeTiticaca · 01/03/2024 21:23

Did you mention it to the shop staff? They would probably call the police to have him moved. They won't want their customers being harassed. And no I wouldn't give him anything. Some of these beggars are not even homeless

Puzzledandpissedoff · 01/03/2024 21:23

Why would he need money for a hostel for a night when they don't charge?

It's your money and your choice OP, but unfortunately you've just encouraged him to go right on doing this and unfortunately that's going to affect others he'll try to intimidate

bows101 · 01/03/2024 21:29

He found his perfect target in you :-( I'm sorry this happened to you, it does catch you off guard sometimes. I wouldn't have given anything either, but I know other female family members would in this situation.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 01/03/2024 21:30

I would have given him precisely fuck all. You were very generous.

Newsenmum · 01/03/2024 21:31

Oh dear, he was wanting his fix op. Don’t engage again. Buying him drugs does not help anything. I knew someone who worked for a homeless charity and he always said don’t do it!

Newsenmum · 01/03/2024 21:31

Also he will recognise you so don’t give him anything next time.

determinedtomakethiswork · 01/03/2024 21:32

Do they have to pay for the hostels? I assumed they didn't.

Original poster
Fizbosshoes · 01/03/2024 21:33

I read so many different approaches and when someone is physically in front of you and feel intimidated, it's hard to quickly know what yo do, although I wouldn't have gone to a cash point even if I had had my debit card with me.

I used to see another guy outside tesco regularly and I sometimes got him a coffee or chocolate bar and I knew which ones he liked but he was never aggressive or intimidating

OP posts:
1984Winston · 01/03/2024 21:35

I say this as someone with a homeless brother, I wouldn't give them a penny, because it won't be to pay for a hostel

Pondering89 · 01/03/2024 21:38

I think it’s irrelevant what he needed the money for. He knew what he was doing by intimating you and you went off instinct to get out of the situation.

Not to defend his behaviour, but I take particular umbrage when people try to dictate how homeless people spend money given to them. ”I’ll buy you a sandwich but I’m not buying you drugs!” They aren’t children, if you’re not happy with their life’s choices then don’t give them anything, simple. Perhaps this guy had already been given three Costas and when low and behold the coffee didn’t work as a smack replacement, he has taken to more drastic measures of accosting a woman on her own to get what he wants.

At the end of the day they are still people, you don’t know what they have been through or how it must feel to find yourself begging on the street to go shoot up in some doss house. If you can afford it, there are worse things than giving someone a 10er to get them through another day, regardless how they chose to spend it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/03/2024 21:41

Happy to buy food /hot didn't

Not give money

Ans he was rude to block your way

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/03/2024 21:42

Drink !

DyslexicPoster · 01/03/2024 21:44

I don't give to any beggers ever. Unless they are still out after 10pm. We have beggers bought into the big town by mini bus and our little market town has beggers get the train from London daily. I don't trust they are real.

In the big town some real and well known homeless people was asking an lady for money, when she opened her purse he was saying "just give me that £20" I know they are genuine- but aggressive.

Local homeless lady lives in tent and leaves a cup by it so people can put in a £1 or two for her to eat and drink each day. She is lovely.

Lollypop701 · 01/03/2024 21:49

Pondering89 · 01/03/2024 21:38

I think it’s irrelevant what he needed the money for. He knew what he was doing by intimating you and you went off instinct to get out of the situation.

Not to defend his behaviour, but I take particular umbrage when people try to dictate how homeless people spend money given to them. ”I’ll buy you a sandwich but I’m not buying you drugs!” They aren’t children, if you’re not happy with their life’s choices then don’t give them anything, simple. Perhaps this guy had already been given three Costas and when low and behold the coffee didn’t work as a smack replacement, he has taken to more drastic measures of accosting a woman on her own to get what he wants.

At the end of the day they are still people, you don’t know what they have been through or how it must feel to find yourself begging on the street to go shoot up in some doss house. If you can afford it, there are worse things than giving someone a 10er to get them through another day, regardless how they chose to spend it.

On this occasion I’d have said no and walked.

agree with pondering89 - give or don’t give, don’t judge because if I was sleeping rough then I’d probably take shit too.

Soarkle · 01/03/2024 21:53

There are a couple by my work with signs begging for money for a hostel. I know hostels don’t charge. By 5pm they are gone and they leave behind the small pile of food people have given them as they don’t need it. Never ever give money to seemingly homeless people. Give it to charities that help them.

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