Homeless man WWYD

[Fizbosshoes]

Its more of a what you would have done as the scenario happened this afternoon.

I was on a work break and had my phone (i dont have applepay or googlepay on my phone) and some cash with me, and was about to go into a shop when I was stopped by a homeless man. He said "excuse me excuse me," and physically blocked my path by moving side to side so i wouldnt walk past, and said he was homeless and needed food and £10 towards a hostel for the night. I pointed to tesco metro, and said what do you want, I'll buy you something. And then he said he didn't want food, he wanted £20 for the hostel. And then pointed to the cash point, and said there's a cash point here.

I told him I'm buying something in the shop, I will give you some change on the way out. I bought what I wanted and I gave him £5 on the way out. He immediately asked had I got any more, and said he needed £20. And then said can I ask you a question, and I said no, and walked away.
I felt bad about it but I also felt pretty intimidated. (He was probably a foot taller than me) I told DH later, and he said he wouldn't have given him anything.

The moment he said he didn't want food or a drink I'd not have given him anything. I regularly give homeless people who walk up and down by traffic lights when cars are stopped £1 or a bottle of water or an apple or an orange. They are always grateful for whatever I offer. I have to drive up and down this road 4 times most days to drop DC to and fro college and these homeless people have very red faces from the cold and are there all day. I think they might be illegal immigrants so can't claim benefits. They are so thin and I've seen them in the McDonald's on the corner there counting out their change to buy a burger and a hot coffee. I've often bought them a 🍔 they are in genuine need of food. I buy a few extra oranges and often give them an orange. They recognise my car and occasionally have asked if I have a bottle of water they can drink. They have never been rude or aggressive.

I regularly give money to homeless people.

I used to just buy them food from my limited options I gave them...I chose what they spent MY money on.

A long talk with a friend who works in the sector made me change my attitude. If I was spending every night on the streets would I prefer the third sausage roll/McDonald's of the day or a hit of alcohol/crack to get me through yet another night of cold hell on the streets.

Hostels round here charge. I once took a man in and paid for his night there.

So I now give cash. I let the person have dignity in making their choice with their money.

Having said all that, I wouldn't have given to the man in the OP. I will not be bullied into giving money to people.

This is difficult. Hostels are often full and in a crisis, without an address people can be pretty desperate and it takes time and a clear mind to navigate possible benefits. Some people do not qualify for any benefits at all ( failed asylum seekers eg.)

A charity I have links with offers a night shelter ie the floor of a church to sleep on. Better than being out on the streets on a cold winter's night I guess.

I've had some experiences speaking to people which have made me think.
One evening after picking up my daughter from the station at 11pm we were walking back to the car. I noticed a chap 30s?,looked dreadful, painfully thin, walking very slowly along. I went over to him, said 'I think you've dropped something' and gave him a note. It was awful. He just cried and kissed my hand, and said 'you've saved my life'.

Another time waiting for dd to choose something at BlockBusters ( long time ago) I spoke to a lad sitting, hunched up outside in the rain. He had nowhere to go and was depressed. I've also spoken to ex service men ( a sleeping bag can be a sign they are genuinely homeless) and women who've been thrown out at night by a partner etc.

I guess an experience I had when I was a child, walking along in the centre of Manchester with the Irish nanny of a neighbour's children has stayed with me. There was a very poorly dressed oldish man, wanting to beg maybe but not really upto it. She went over to him and gave him 2 half crowns. He also cried.

I let that person have dignity in making their choice with their money
Well I'm not going to give money to support a crack habit.
Give money to a proper charity, donate to a food bank or soup kitchen.

There are regularly homeless people who get onto the train and have what sounds like a scripted piece that they say in each carriage, including needing money for a hostel. Part of me is suspect because they all say almost word for word, the same thing, but I do sometimes give them some change

please don’t do this. They are professional beggars not homeless people. You’re literally encouraging gangs to traffic people by supporting this.

I’ve worked very closely with homeless charities in my professional context and they all beg people never to give money on the streets. It fuels the abuse of the very same people. You are not helping.

Hostels. Do. Not. Charge. There are more than enough free spaces for every homeless person. We used to literally go around night walks with the charities offering spaces.

There's a van that drops off women who sit in our city centre, begging. They usually have a baby with them. They're professionals. Don't give.

Sorry, I should have been more specific. Night shelters don’t charge. And there are more spaces than needed. Long term hostels do but these can be paid for via housing benefit. When people go to the night shelters they get help and guidance for doing this.

A lot of them you can smell from ages away and I don't think anyone would be like that through choice

Unfortunately that's what addiction can do, and yet plenty still insist they don't care what beggars spend it on

You'd think they'd realise there's a reason homeless charities keep telling us that giving on the street's unwise, but apparently they know better

There's a van that drops off women who sit in our city centre, begging

There's one around us that drops off the Big Issue sellers too
Friends in the police tell me they're mostly Romanian gangs now and that there's a lot of violence if others invade their turf, so I'm afraid I no longer buy that either

You get taken aback and don't know what to do. In future I would draw attention to someone if they're behaving aggressively so others look. We have a big issue seller who can be quite aggressive and I try to avoid him.

I do feel sorry for homeless people especially at this time of year. Yes many are substance misuses but so would I be in their shoes!

I donate by DD to St Mungos and give ad hoc to Crisis, Shelter, the Sally Army etc.

If there's a homeless person outside a supermarket I do offer to buy them sandwiches, water, hot drink if there's a Costa counter in there etc

St Mungos are dodgy...a lot of their staff are on drugs and they misuse money.

This thread in general made me think a bit as I could volunteer at local places even if to do the cleaning. I'd give a couple of quid at times to anyone on the street and don't care what they spend it on. It's not like picking up a cat and getting it deflead and dewormed and finding a safe home. Some people choose to operate outside the perimeters.

That’s all fair enough. But it would be nice if beggars didn’t collect through fraud.

TBH I’d be more inclined to give money if they said “I need £20 for some heroin. I’m an addict” or “got a couple of quid for some cider?”

I often give food or money but I would not in those circumstances. I’d also tell the shop manager that customers are being intimidated in their doorway.

@WhatsTheUseOfWorrying yeah that would be upfront.

The sort of pleading about getting a roof over their heads tends to get people's backs up

I would have said sorry, I don’t have any cash, now fuck off.
It can be very intimidating.
Just because he’s homeless doesn’t give him the go ahead to tell you to give him a tenner. You might not be able to afford a tenner yourself!

There was a man sat outside the Tesco when I went to buy a sandwich for work. I gave him a £1. Other people had bought him sandwiches and hot drinks. On my way home, I saw him stand up and walk away. Leaving packets of uneaten sandwiches and hot drink cups on the ground. He must have been sat on the sandwiches.

There’s access to food and drink in around our town centre. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and tea/snacks. Is it ideal? No. But I’d rather access those places for food, than sit outside Tesco. It’s mostly cash they want obviously, whether choosing their own lunch or more likely spending it on drugs. Our homeless provision is good, there are hostels and people are placed quickly- unless they take drugs/ cause problems/prefer a tent. We had one man who simply preferred the tent and his own rules rather than living in a hostel. He didn’t want a flat, he simply wished to be left alone.

These are not bloody homeless people they are professional beggars. Stop being taken in by it. The vast majority of truly homeless people are not begging in public transport of outside of stores. One of our local Tesco has a regular 'homeless' guy outside who sits on a blanket all day with a scruffy take away coffee cup for his donations. His clothes are immaculate and he gets dropped off each morning around 11am by Range Rover.

Honestly OP if you want to help homeless people please donate to a charity that can help. Don't give random beggars anything

How do you claim benefit if you dint have an address?
Genuinely, how is that working?

If that was that easy, there would be little homelessness then (as sleeping rough in the street type).

There has been a few trials done where people who are homeless were given a home/flat as well as some spending money. Much less than it actually costs to ‘look after’ them when they are in the street.
Most (and I mean about 80% of them if my memory is right) settled, found a job etc… within that year. In big part, because they didn’t have to jump through all those hoops.
So yes that system exist and it helps us, the wider population, feel better/that we don’t just ignore them. It doesn’t mean said system is actually suitable to the problem.

@BlueSkyBlueLife

How do you claim benefit if you dint have an address?
Genuinely, how is that working?

There is a procedure, look it up

I would definitely ring the supermarket OP. If they have CCTV which covers that area, they can look to see if this is a regular pattern. I don't think the police are going to be too keen on a man who is aggressively begging.

I agree with PPs that in general if I have change on me, I will give it rather than offering to buy food but it would usually only be a couple of quid max as I'd rather give to a charity.

Sorry you had this experience - I can see how it would leave you feeling quite shaken.

Thank you. That is oh so helpful….. 🙄🙄

I wouldn't have given cash, but I'd have offered to buy food. If he didn't want it that's up to him.
In our town the advice is not to give cash. There are secure, vandal proof collection boxes in 3 places to give donations which go to an organisation who help the rough sleepers locally and a QR code in a shop window if you want to donate by phone.

@BlueSkyBlueLife

Thank you. That is oh so helpful….. 🙄🙄

I'm not sure why you are rolling your eyes at me. You want to know so you look it up. I was just helpfully saying it does exist so worth looking up of you are interested.

Where I live they accost you at your car as you get out and harass you to the door. I just say No repeatedly. It's very intimidating.

I used to give cash and felt that it was up to the person how they spent the money. If they wanted drugs who was I to judge? However, a loved one is now an addict and I realise this thinking is funding dealers, which means drugs will continue to be available and he will continue to use and most likely will die.