Do you have the number of children you wanted/planned?

[FridgeJenga]

I wanted 2 or 3.
DH the same.

We have 3.

I never planned to have any, I changed my mind and then had 3. DH would have liked some but was happy with my decision either way. DH got the snip after 3.

I was the eldest of two and DH was the eldest of three.

We always considered having three, and three we have. DH had the snip after that. All our DDs are in their twenties now. No regrets.

No and this is a good time to write people may have kids over 40 but lots of us suffered tragic losses around that age and we don’t tend to shout that from the rooftops. You only hear the good anecdotes.

Wanted four (in my fantasy life of starting earlier, more money and a bigger house).

Planned two (in my reality life of starting at 33, less money and a smaller house).
Have three (second pregnancy, egg split!)

I always wanted 3. Way back, husband said he wanted 2 or 4. We now have 3.

A really big part of me would like a 4th, but we are so very busy with 3!

I already feel guilty about each getting enough of us, and I have next to nothing left over for my poor husband. A 4th would certainly also compromise us financially to a very significant degree (even more than the 3rd) - in the long run we'd have to move somewhere cheaper with less nice schools etc.

Also we've got 3 within 5 years, whereas to have a 4th would push the widest age gap so that we would encounter more issues around shared interests / play etc.

So we've decided to stop at 3. The thought of another baby does run through my mind but I'm not honestly sure that would ever stop until I am menopausal, no matter how many babies I have! I'm trying to remain focused on what's best for my existing children and how much more free I will be to enjoy the next phase (we're very much in the thick of it with baby and preschoolers presently) without the demands of an additional baby/preschooler.

Unless you have fertility issues I struggle to see how it is uncontrollable??

Multiples?

Planned 3.
At the key moment, I thought I was perfectly satisfied with 2.
Now it's too late I wish I'd had another. Ah well.

Imagined having 3. would have been happy stopping at 1. Ended up with 2.

I’m nearly 38 and thought I’d have two by now.

Currently struggling to get one to stick around long enough to be viable. Such is life.

Yes. None. It's worked out better than I hoped.

I have one child.

I would have liked more but I haven't met a man who wanted to be an equal partner, so I am single and raise ds myself. I could not afford to do more.

Wanted 2 or maybe 3, ideally both sexes. Have a boy and girl, very on the fence re #3

Planned 2.
have 0

Wanted 2, got 2💙💗

Wanted 2 but had termination at 17, miscarriage at 21, then fertility issues in 30s. So none. In some ways I'm fine about this as I was always 50/50 about having kids and I almost always trotted off for MAP quite a few times when I didn't want to be pregnant but on the other hand sometimes I wonder, what if?

I wanted 4 when I was younger. 2 boys and 2 girls.
I have 3 now, 2 boys and 1 girl.
Unfortunately I have realised I don't pick the best men to have kids with so I'm a single parent and raise them all alone.
I've been sterilised and have decided to stay away from men so no 4th child for me 🤣

Wanted 4 and stopped at 2. Glad I did as I did not enjoy raising teens. I'm a foster carer for little ones though so lots of kids in my life who I love.

My best friend when a teenager was adamant she didn't want DC ever, she was the eldest of 5 and had to mind her younger siblings when younger. Did all the going out and clubbing stuff with me and other friends in our mid 20s. She then had a shock pregnancy, twins and married the father. And then had another child approx 2-3 years later. She's really happy and a great mum.

Yes, OP, I do. Zero by choice and could not be happier.
☕

It isn't totally uncontrollable at all. There is an element of luck in it, but my own view is that it is generally easier to decide when NOT to have a baby than to be sure when or if a pregnancy will happen once you do start trying.

Obviously medical issues, fertility issues, contraceptive failures, miscarriage, surprise multiple births etc. can all sometimes intervene too, but I still wouldn't hold to the sweeping generalisation that it is "totally uncontrollable" so can't be planned.

Foster caring sounds awesome.

I thought I wanted 0.
I got 2.
When I got 2 I thought maybe 1 more but that didn't happen.

No. Wanted 2, got 0. Miscarriages only for me.

Wanted 2 and after many years of infertility and IVF I am extremely lucky to have 1. Unable to have any more.

Wanted 3, DH wanted 2. Got one after years of trying and multiple IVF's.....and then had a surprise 2nd. Always count my blessings that I was able to have them!