How soon did you drive on the motorway with children?

[Merrow]

DP has recently passed their driving test and started driving the motorway route to work this week. We've a holiday booked for 2 weeks from now that driving would make easier, but is doable by train. It's pretty much a motorway journey door to door.

I'm not a driver and I find the concept of driving terrifying. Especially on a motorway, where if something goes wrong then the likelihood of someone dying is much higher. I have an issue with my visual processing which means I really struggle to work out movement (I can't really judge when it's safe to cross roads), so basically all road skills seem alarmingly impossible to me. I also am undergoing treatment for PTSD relating to DS2's prolonged stay in NICU, and have a lot of intrusive thoughts about him dying. All of which combined means that basically my ability to risk assess in this scenario is zilch.

How long were you driving before you felt comfortable taking children with you on the motorway? Particularly if you learned driving later (DP is 38). The DC are 5 and 1. DP feels more confident with every drive, but does acknowledge that motorways are frightening and is happy to take the train as this holiday is supposed to be a celebration of a year since DS2 was discharged from hospital, and me stressing about the drive is not really in keeping with the spirit.

He's assed hisyest let him get on with it Keep your anxiety to yourself and take steps to address it

I had my instructors kids in the car before I even passed. Ditto the motorway. Motorways are easy.

As others have said, motorways aren't too bad, just make sure you avoid rush hour so it's not too hectic. The main thing for an inexperienced driver is to be conscious of their speed after coming off the motorway as 30mph feels ridiculously slow after travelling at 70mph. If you're concerned about safety, the best thing you can do is ensure both children are in rear facing car seats, it's much safer for children to rear face as long as possible, in the event of an accident they are far less likely to suffer severe injuries if facing backwards. Specialist retailers sell car seats that rear face up to 125cm and 36kg.

Probably the day after I passed my test. Our town was right on the junction of a motorway and there was another one not 5 miles away. To go anywhere other then just town you needed to get on a motorway. One of my parents took me the first time and after that I was let losse.

I passed my test at age 18 and then didn’t drive for 25 years, for various reasons. Last year I took the plunge and did refresher lessons for 3
months and got my own car. My biggest fear remained motorways and I must say it’s only recently I’ve stopped avoiding them and got on with it!! I now quite enjoy motorway driving for the reasons others have said. I don’t have kids but I will say, it took me a while to feel confident enough to relax on my motorway journeys and I am always conscious of being super vigilant to everything that’s going on around me. If your DP is a bit anxious about it already, having young kids in the mix might be a bit much for a
longer motorway drive. But everyone’s different - I avoided driving for 25 years due to anxiety about it; I’m sure your DP won’t be anxious to nearly the same level I was, which will help with his confidence, nerves, and vigilance!

I drove on the motorway the day I passed my test but didn't have kids. If your partner is driving on a motorway but is too anxious to take your child in car in case they cause an accident, then they shouldn't be driving on the motorway at all, my children may be in the car with me driving the same stretch.

Id let them drive and I'd sit in the back with the child if you don't want your anxiety to rub off - keep yourself distracted with your son.

It took me a year and a half before going on a motorway, until I needed to for a job.

I now prefer motorways to normal roads x

In high winds & bad weather, stay in the left it's the safest place to be!

Remember to give good braking distance for an HGV/lorry when you change lanes but mostly the motorways will be the predictable line of traffic & road you understand.

What I'm trying to say is I get the concern...it's valid but don't let that hamper experiences, esp if your other half feels confident to do this.

If needs be, put a back up plan in place, if nerves get the better of him.

After passing, I drove into Manchester through Cheetham Hill.....anyone who knows this area knows it is a baptism of fire!

I hope you enjoy your holiday, whichever way you get there.

Learned to drive at 31 , on the motorway teh following day for 50 miles and then 200 miles on the m6m1 m25 .

Motorway driving is easier and safer. Maybe try a shorter journey together to reassure you first.

I'm in Ireland and learners aren't allowed on the motorway at all, even with an instructor during lessons.

So the first time a driver will get to drive on the motorway (legally) is after they pass the test when they can drive by themselves 😅Crazy really!

Both parents not being able to is odd, driving is a basic life skill and not being able to drive is so limiting (unless of course you live in a big city like London). See so many threads on here where it creates issues.

I think if the driver is confident and happy to drive then leave the decision to them and then whilst in the car keep your opinions to yourself .

Dd1 aged 18 passed her driving test on her 5th attempt and the next day drove me and her 3 siblings (aged 17, 7 and 2) on holiday to the Isle of Wight driving on m25 and a couple of other motorways.
If you are really anxious though I'd take the train this time.

Motorways are statistically safer OP

Can DP get their instructor to give them a couple of lessons on the motorway before you go? DD always recommended to her students that they took a few motorway lessons after they passed their test.

I don't know where the op I but you can't drive on a motorway as a learner in England either. You can drive on dual carriageways though and in some places there isn't much difference.

You can in England but only with a driving instructor and in a vehicle with dual controls.
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/learner-drivers-will-be-allowed-on-motorways-from-2018

Dh drove us home on motorway from the hospital after ds was born ( he had been driving 10years by then. I passed my test while 6 months pregnant wih dd and drive on the motorway 4 days later, drove both children on the motorway within 2 weeks of dd being born.

as long as driver is happy and confident to drive on a motorway I don’t see an issue,

A week after my test, DH gave me a motorway "lesson". DD1 came with us, then just one year old. Unknown to us, DD2 was also along for the ride!

I drove to Scotland with DH a couple of weeks after that, and to London alone (with DDs) a month after that (from Yorkshire)

Most terrifying tbing I had to learn... an extremely steep hill near where we lived ( Sutton Bank for and Yorkshire residents who will know where I mean). Motorways are easy compared to that horror.

I think I drove on a motorway very soon after passing my test. I had to, to get to work, it was just the last two or three miles.

I don't remember when we first took DS with us on a motorway, but probably when he was weeks old. It wouldn't have occurred to us that it was different from other roads.

Get Your DP to do an advanced motorway driving lesson with an instructor. Just a one off but should allay all fears

Straight away.

A motorway is just a dual carriageway with a few extra rules. It's taught as part of driving lessons and the test. If he passed his test he can do it. Motorways are generally easier and safer to drive than other roads.

He could put a P sticker on his car so other drivers cut him a bit of slack. Ask him to check oil level, tyre pressures and treads before you leave on holiday. (he should do this before any long trip anyway). Then he just needs to stick to what he's been taught. He'll be fine. Don't make a big thing of it.

Pack a bag of baby stuff to last a full day, drinks and snacks for both of you. Enjoy your holiday. 🙂

6 weeks old.

And again today, she’s nearly 8 weeks now.

I imagine a lot of people drove on the motorway to get home from hospital.

I did Pass Plus which helped me with motorways as I was terrified. I drove on the motorway after that with my DS. He was 8 and I was 35. Whilst motorway driving is scary it's statistically quite safe. Just keep away from the speed freaks.

To this day I only drive in the slow lane and take lots of breaks.