Tell us something awful you did as a kid.

[Friedchickenrocks]

Aged about 8 our grandad was staying with us and I hid his glasses. Nobody thought it was me but he knew. He was literally almost blind for a week and even went poking with his walking stick down the loo. "I know it's her. I just know it, little bitch" Eventually they magically re-appeared on the sideboard. I never did own up and my mum never thought it could possibly be her blue eyed girl.

Aged around 8, I poured a pot of ink all over my granddad's typewriter out of curiosity, ruined it, then blamed it on my cousin.

Oh Jesus I was a really evil kid, I’m not sure why- I think I was struggling with self esteem, I am a decent human now I promise

i was once at a restaurant with my family that had a play area, and next to the play barn was entry to the kitchen and a table where all the orders were on slips of paper. When nobody was looking I took the papers and squeezed them in my hand and threw them into the play area. Que a very upset waitress who didn’t know where the orders had gone. Luckily we left 2 minutes later and I never got caught but I saw her upset and I did feel bad. No idea why I did it.

i lied that I had a baby sister, I wanted one so badly as I had a brother- then when my friends came round to play and asked where she was I said she had died and one of my friends cried.

One of my friends came round to play and I wasn’t really fond of her as she was quite mean to me so one day I retaliated and I squirted my mums false tan at her face and she had a massive brown spot for 2 weeks

I still don’t know why I was so weird 😭

My nan was on the phone in the pay phone cubicle box thing that used to be every where. And one day for god knows what reason I decided to trap her in there. She was shouting to open the door because a wasp was in there. We didn't. She got stung on the neck by it.
Another time me and my brother was just being absolute bastards, terrorising my granddad in Sainsbury’s and out of anger and desperation he hit us both on the head with a French stick baguette and snapped it in 2. 😂😂

Some of you are absolutely horrible!!!!

my(adored)dad got a new job what was -reason we all hadda move far away(together)for first 3 months(til m+d chose new house)he left on sun eve-return fri night
I HATED IT
he called us every night in life,on friday his case opened-and wow-spolied EVERY WEEK.til..prob 3rd or 4th.my ma(the cold one.lol)said.stop that. gift if you must-but-calm doon.
he bought me a rubber\eraser-know them green one end/jaggygrit grey other.IT WAS ABOUT 6inches by 4inches(then pointy ends.
i got sick.
off school-went back,popened my bog standard 1970s desk. my HUGE erser was 2 bits.SUSAN at next desk was laughing
i am not psychic,but i have a big sister.100 % susan did it
dad had bout me a set square(triangle,ruler,crinkle cut scissors and..scissor scissors.
i got out my chair n walked spit distance to susands desk.she had pulled tight either side of head "bunches" and I cut one off.
at the bobble
and
i still am not sorry

I stole one of those plastic jif lemons from the local butchers when I was six felt so guilty and put it back the next week.

And you cracking up has made me giggle.

Think we were year 2 infants I pinched a keyring off my friends jelly bag that was hanging on her peg. I was jealous I wanted to collect keyrings and show them off like that. My mum found it in my pocket and made me take it round her house. The front door was open but second one was closed so I chucked it in and ran back home. Nothing was mentioned about it and I still got invited to her birthday party.🤣🤣🤣

Killing a creature by chemical burns is nothing to joke about.

When I was 5 or 6, I cut a huge round chunk out of the front of the neighbor girl’s hair. She was about 3.
Her mum came over & spoke to my mum about it, but I didn’t get in trouble. After they left, my mum was in hysterics. She told my dad and they both had a good laugh.
I didn’t couldn’t figure out what the big deal was.

But my mum. When she was little, my granddad had a friend over & Mum was running around in her little nightgown and being a pest. There was a tiny hole in her nightgown and my granddad put his finger in it and ripped it all the way down.
That made my mum furious so she went into GP’s bedroom with scissors & cut the arms & legs out of his pyjamas.

My mum liked to tell the story of when I was about 2, and she had bought a fresh cream sponge cake for a treat when my auntie came to visit. Cake was placed in the middle of the dining table and mum and auntie went into the kitchen to make the tea, and probably share the gossip that wasn’t for “little ears”. When they came back the table was bare and me and the dog were underneath it, sharing the cake bite for bite.

There was the time I persuaded my younger brother that if he sniffed up pepper it would make him sneeze, mum would think he had a cold, and he wouldn’t have to go to school. I think I can honestly say we were both surprised that didn’t work…

When I was 9 or 10 I discover granny’s knee length bloomers. And most surprising of all was a black, floral pair. I was fascinated for some reason. Then one day it popped into my head that these would make the most fantastic kite! Timing was everything. I had to get them when granny took the dogs back to the steading, and wind conditions had to be right. Finally my lucky day arrived. I’d already set aside some knitting wool in a suitable length, I got the bloomers out of the cupboard, tied them with the wool and ran up and down the field outside the house. Nothing. Never lifted off. No pretty floral kite. One last try. Threw them up in the air, the bloody knot came undone, the wind took them and they got caught on the chimney stack. I was in tears. Luckily the wind blew them back down before granny got back and I was able to return the slightly sooty evidence. Then had to tell granny I’d been crying because I fell in the nettles…

Oh and something which I still do the odd time I go to my sister's house. Which isn't often she's a narcissist. She's always liked everything in it's place but OCD so I used to go in her room when she wasn't home and move stuff around just to see if she would notice.

I don't go in her bedroom now but she has a lot of ornamental stuff as she's obsessed with the Victorian era. So I just move stuff around or swap stuff to see if she notices when she's out the room. She usually does I once hid a bag of sweets I didn't want the kids eating before tea under a table cloth. She spotted right away it wasn't exactly as she put it. So she had to put it right and obviously found the sweets.

God knows what they must have thought being woken every night on the dot by some child with a strange accent saying 'hello' 'hello'.

^^

Actually dying here 😅

These are brilliant

You were kinder than me. I remember sneaking a little fistful of tombola tickets, along with what I'd paid for. I was desperate to win a little bell. I went away from the stall and opened the stolen tickets and had some winners. My parents wouldn't give me more money when I asked though. I knew I'd be in trouble if I told them what I'd done, but wanted to be able to legitimately redeem my tickets. Told my brother and we agreed to share the prizes, so he 'bought' more.

For some inexplicable reason, turned the chest freezer off at my cousin's house. Didn't really think of the consequences. My aunt and uncle went nuts the next day. I didn't own up.

I had a note to get out of PE. I snuck back into the classroom and swapped everyone’s clothes around.

Class bully also wasn’t doing PE that day. I knew he would get the blame - that’s partly why I did it. I cried at the mere suggestion it could have been me.

He got the blame. I went through the next eight years of school with the satisfaction of knowing he was the boy who cried wolf and that no one believed his cries of innocence. I regret nothing.

When I was pre school, my favourite place to sit was under the huge table in the kitchen.
We had numerous delivery men come to the house, including “Fred who delivers the bread”. He used to come with a great big basket on his arm, full of loaves.
I must have seen it on TV but for some reason I decided to rugby tackle him.
I really went for it and launched myself at him in a surprise attack from under the table, grabbing him round the knees.
Poor Fred, I'll never forget his face as he went down.
I got into huge trouble for that.

😂 I feel so terrible for laughing at this, but I find that too funny 😂

I think I speak for us all when I say, “Eh?”

when I was 7, I unscrewed the top to a jar filled with seasoning I knew my mom was going to use…when she went to sprinkle the contents onto the chicken, the top fell into the bowl and behind it all the seasoning.

She was livid as I had ruined the meal she planned to serve at a dinner party 😵‍💫

Oh ffs. You seriously think, as a nearly 40 year old, that animal abuse is funny?

Stuck a pin through our rocking horse saddle ready for my stepfather, as he sometimes used to come and sit on it sideways when he came in to chat to us or tell us something. Watched in awed fascination as he sat down on the pin then jumped up sharpish!

I once tipped away half a bottle of sherry as I knew he'd get the blame, and would hide his things. I didn't much like him. I would say it was just jokes if caught, though I'd still get into trouble.

One of my siblings wouldn't contribute something to a good cause, but expected me to because my item of sentimental value wasn't as important as theirs, obviously. So I threw their item away at the first opportunity and denied knowing where it was.

Some of these are hilarious when I was around 7 I shaved the eyebrows off my sisters friend she was only about 4 it was so bad I got into so much trouble and even now 35 years later the friend still mentions it 🤣

The poster who deliberately pinched the baby at the childminder’s has just made me so glad i’m sending my second child straight to nursery!

Some of you are being harsh on yourselves though. Like the poster who made their mum feel bad by making their slap mark look worse, and the poster who chased their dickhead neighbour with a rake. I remember slapping a nasty girl at school around the face but it remains a very proud moment.

@HotChocolateNotCocoa .tough

A friend of mine used to play 'God' with ants. It involved simply putting the ants into a bowl of cold water and deciding which of them to save. Shocking really!

A family member used to go and tip salt over the slugs. I really hate slugs to this day, but the thought of them melting in pain was too much so my brother and I used to go and pour water over them to rinse the salt away. We were also concerned that the poor frogs (who we loved, and there were lots as there was a stream at the bottom of the garden!) would try to eat the salted slugs.