What's your MN Niggle

[JackThayer]

Mine is when the thread is something along the lines of "what's your favourite dinner?" Or "Worst holiday you've ever been on?" And OP replies to every single post!

We say for context IRL, I never thought it was that wild an expression.

People who derail threads with talk of irrelevant details. I am still pissed off about a thread I started the other day which didn't even get off the ground because some prissy types objected to my turn of phrase.

Who has the time or inclination to read the whole thread when some are 20+ pages long and a lot of the posts are just people bickering and derailing? I read all the OPs posts.

“Why did you even have a baby?” really winds me up. You cannot return them!

People who with absolute confidence, if not to say aggression, accuse people of being "alcoholics" because they drink a bit more than the recommended units, or they got drunk on one specific occasion, or whatever.

I am not in any sense trying to minimise the dangers of alcohol abuse - it nearly killed me and I no longer drink myself.

However, assuming you can diagnose someone as an "alcoholic" on the basis of their 75 word post is madness!

I also dislike the assertions on here that people with addiction issues will always lie, can never love you, will always love their addiction more etc etc - as if nobody in the world ever had a successful recovery. I know these are often written from a place of pain, because the poster was let down in the past by someone who should have cared for them due to addiction - but it also doesn't help those readers who might be thinking about turning their lives around to be told they are basically intrinsically worthless scum with no capacity for normal human feeling......

In this vein when someone is in a shitty situation coming on the thread just to correct their spelling and grammar or taking issue with a minor aspect of it being incorrect and harassing the person over it

"Think" As in "we went to a large supermarket, think Asda" or "I have a professional job, think civil service".

Just say what it is ffs.

YEP. Everytime someone does that, I always ask them why. Funnily enough, they never respond. It’s even worse when they’re the first person to comment so what was the need of quoting the OP? So irritating

"And you had a child with this man, why?"

Few snides make my skin prickle with dislike as much as this one.

Posters who are obviously racing to be the first to start a thread on a breaking news topic eg thread title: “Celeb x has died” and then the OP will just say “awful” or whatever

People posting seeking advice. However, it then transpires that they live abroad and that countries law is of vital importance to what they want advice on (and often dropped in after 20 odd responses) .

Mn is a UK based forum with predominantly a UK based readership, how many users are likely to know the law surrounding Turkish land boundary disputes etc?

I find that particularly grating.

It's such a try-hard attention seeking device.

I cringe for such posters.

Physically cringe for them.

When posters reply with multiple questions, very aggressively phrased. Particularly to another poster who is just giving an opinion on a life dilemma type situation. Example- should I tell someone something. Someone says yes, someone else says no .First poster attacks other poster asking questions about their life like they are trying to prove the other poster is biased or clueless. AIBU has gotten very nasty lately.

Posters who arrive on a thread just to say 'not this again' because they have seen another post or - God forbid - maybe a few, about the same subject. Maybe someone wants their own conversation. Or maybe they're new. Fair enough if someone points the OP in the direction of a similar thread to be helpful, but that sneering, eye rolling attitude of 'not this again' gets my goat.

Derailing a thread by troll hunting. I don't mean calling out obviously sleazy or vicious behaviour; but acting like a poundshop private detective by pointing out real or imagined inconsistencies in posts (especially as genuine posters may change a few details to reduce the risk of being outed); claiming that something similar was posted previously; or treating an OP as a troll if they don't return quickly enough to a thread. If you really think someone's a troll, report to Mumsnet,

Generational bigotry: Generation Z are this, and Boomers are that, etc. etc. No different really from bigotry against different nationalities.

Harshness about disabled people: acting as though mildly or moderately disabled people are spoilt brats or scroungers, and severely disabled people are a poor economic investment, and neither deserve any help from society.

Hostility to all non-drivers.

People who accuse anyone with whom they disagree of being (a) a man in disguise, or (b) a journalist in disguise,

This. This is my least favourite thing on MN.

We all see through you.

1. The worst transphobia is deleted so no we can't give links.
2. You won't accept as transphobia what most of the rest of the world see as transphobic (misgendering is rife here).
3. As if anyone is going to go trawling through old threads posting evidence.

And even worse, those who pride themselves on their pedantry but are actually wrong.

When posters use 'they' because obviously strangers on the internet knowing the sex of the person being discussed might be 'outing'. Half the time the poster gives it away somewhere with a random 'she' or 'him' and the rest of the time the sex of the person is obvious anyway.

OP "it's snowing!"

It would be useful if they told us where they were too.

Someone else alluded to this upthread, but.

A woman started a thread a few years ago about her bloating and abdominal discomfort. She was quickly diagnosed with ovarian cancer and kept the thread going to diagnose her treatment before her death.

Months on, posters were coming on to suggest she cut out gluten.

RTFT or at the very least the OP's posts. It's not likely that you have anything new to add that the other 300 (or whatever) posts haven't said.

The complete overuse of narcissistic / gas lighting / controlling.

The step parents board. So many threads where (usually) a step mum posts asking for advice or empathy on a difficult situation and the whole thing gets derailed by angry first wives demanding the poster admits to hating the children and/or being the OW when theres absolutely no evidence. It's utterly bizarre and at times deranged.

Especially saying “gaslighting” when they just mean “lying”.

Posting on a thread irrelevant to you to smugly point this out. Especially when it's a parenting related issue and a non parent comments unnecessarily. Or relationship issue and a single person comments, usually along the lines of that's why I don't live with a man, or that's why I decided not to have children etc. It's particularly bad minded..

Ooooh oooh I thought of another one!!

1. "He's cheating on you, OP"

Posters could say "I'm worried he is cheating on you" or "the signs are that he's being unfaithful" or "I am guessing she's the OW" or "are you sure he's being faithful?" or "I think I'd be worried if I were you..."

Anything that recognises they don't know for certain, how could they? - they've spotted the signs, they're pretty sure the evidence points this way.... etc.

But no, many MNers plump for "sorry OP, I'm afraid to say he's definitely shagging someone else - get them ducks in a row!"

I always read those threads and feel sorry for an imaginary innocent man who's there going "what do you mean StardustPixieFace23 says I'm definitely bonking Helen? Who the hell is that?!" 😅😅