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Been in tears all night - lovely staff and massive breakthrough for dd

105 replies

Beeninhappytearsallnight · 21/02/2024 08:05

My dd has autism and has another condition that causes seizures that have tourettes like tics. Life is really hard for her, she struggles a lot.

She has barely been out of the house for the last few years, part time school, hasn't really been able to do anything or go anywhere.

A band she absolutely loves was playing last night, I bought her pretty expensive VIP tickets as they had a little Q&A thing with 3 acoustic songs, and then I thought we would leave before the actual gig.

I spoke to one of the staff at the venue about possibly letting is out a quieter exit, and off she went, came back with the most lovely security guys. They told me that dd was more than welcome to use the accessible area, that she would be given a seat, explained what to do if she felt anxious at all (go to the person working the accessible area and they could take her to get some air if she felt overwhelmed) and were just absolutely amazing honestly. She sat down, they kept checking in she was OK, even complimented her ear defenders 😭

At one point she needed the toilet so they escorted her down the back stairs, escorted her right to the front of the queue at the toilet, and then waited and back up the same way and got us back to the seating area.

They allowed us to wait until the crowd had cleared before we left as well.

I've spent the whole night crying, I never thought in a million years that my dd would be able to attend a full gig, let alone actually enjoy one. The way those staff went totally above and beyond was absolutely amazing honestly life changing for my dd.

No real point to this post, just a very proud Mum today who is absolutely over the moon at the way all of those lovely security people have been trained, and made a teenage girl actually feel like a teenage girl for a night of music.

Ignore me.... I'll be off somewhere crying all day.

OP posts:
TheseLegsDefinitelyUsedToBeLonger · 21/02/2024 11:37

Amazing... I have the biggest smile on my face now. That's just lovely @Beeninhappytearsallnight for you and your daughter.

WmFnKdSg1234 · 21/02/2024 11:38

What you've described, OP, is so wonderful it's made me well up. I am absolutely thrilled for you and your DD. It's lovely when things go well for our kids isn't it? I hope this experience has a tremendous impact on your DD's confidence and ability to manage her conditions. Flowers

Sdpbody · 21/02/2024 11:48

Your post made me cry. You can see the pride, the happiness and the sheer delight in having your daughter supported and cared for.

Keep going!!

AccessibleArea · 21/02/2024 11:59

Such a lovely post. Several years ago a very similar thing happened for us and whilst it sounds like an exaggeration, it was literally life changing for them. We now travel to several different venues and whilst some trips are more successful than others, I still feel that same joy seeing the look of happiness on their face.
Attitude is Everything is a great resource for disabled gig goers but if I can help with venue suggestions I’d be happy to (you mentioned that one wasn’t local to you).

Genuinely so happy for you and your daughter.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 21/02/2024 12:01

Lovely post to read, my cataracts are cloudier than usual after that. Thank you for sharing this, @Beeninhappytearsallnight, and good luck to you and your daughter in future.

Rarewaxwing · 21/02/2024 12:20

Beeninhappytearsallnight · 21/02/2024 10:47

Consider it a massive win.

I hope those of you in the same boat as me take a little hope in the fact the world is changing, and our kids WILL be able to do things like going to gigs ❤️

I'm in the same boat and I really hope you're right.

MorningSunshineSparkles · 21/02/2024 12:43

Aww that made me tear up, I’m so happy for your DD 😁😁😁

SootysCaravan · 21/02/2024 12:57

Absolutely love this ❤️ You must also give yourself huge credit for making her feel safe enough to go too!

Iwant2beJessicaFletcher · 21/02/2024 13:02

Ive got tears in my eyes reading this. So lovely to read

helpyhelperton · 21/02/2024 13:18

This is such a lovely post. I'm so happy for you and your DD.

We are in a similar boat but a few years down the line.

The staff were brilliant - good on them. All staff should be like this (most we've encountered have been).

I haven't read every reply and I don't know if you already know but you can ring the assistance line for all gigs, even sold out ones, for accessible tickets. Mine have to be near an exit and not too high but not too near front, we always get them. Because i am carer i usually get a free ticket.

My DC gets a disability payment so we send that as proof / but i think a diagnosis letter would suffice.

Lovely, lovely thread - long may your DD love gigs like mine do ❤️

rainbegone · 21/02/2024 13:25

Another one you've made cry

Richard1985 · 21/02/2024 13:25

What a lovely thing to read!

SingingSands · 21/02/2024 13:36

"Music is for everyone"

This, and your post and follow ups have made my eyes water.

Pure.Dead.Brilliant.

BoohooWoohoo · 21/02/2024 13:38

A lovely uplifting post with brilliant updates. I’m glad that you named the venue too. 😍

Shivermetimbers13 · 21/02/2024 13:38

That is just so lovely to read! Bless her, I bet she had a fantastic time!

KnitFastDieWarm · 21/02/2024 14:24

This is so lovely to read 😊
I’m autistic myself. Doesn’t this show how a few simple adjustments and considerations in a world that’s not built for us can make a massive difference? I’m
so glad your DD had a wonderful time!

ButtonMoon5 · 21/02/2024 14:44

Reading your post made me really happy 😊 I'm glad your daughter had a wonderful time. Thank you for sharing this.

user1471556818 · 21/02/2024 14:54

Thank you for sharing this lovely story .I think we can often forget that there are really decent people out there doing their jobs really well with kindness and compassion.

Salaaaaaaaah · 21/02/2024 14:55

rivercobbler · 21/02/2024 08:59

I appear to have something in my eye

Such a beautiful story, thank you for sharing and giving us hope for humanity

Yes, we need more stories to remind us that humans ain't so bad.

Very nice story OP. Glad your daughter enjoyed her night. The response you got about music being for everyone was bloody marvellous.

Oldraver · 21/02/2024 16:37

Its good to hear she had a wondeful experience at Mother Mother, it shouldn't be any other way. MM is one of those bands that appeals to people with many differences (and the lead has had many battles himself)

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 21/02/2024 16:38

I'm on another thread where someone who works with autistic teens has used the phrase "showy self harm" to describe the behaviour of some of the teens she works with.

We are not where we need to be yet with supporting autistic kids, nowhere near.

PandaChopChop · 21/02/2024 16:40

I have heard really good things about Barrowlands and their accessibility. Legends!

Beeninhappytearsallnight · 21/02/2024 17:09

Thank you all. That's us home now, long day travelling, but bra is off, PJs are on and coffee is in hand now 🤣 DD is up in her room now just decompressing bless her.

I totally agree that most places pay lip service to being accessible, usually a wheelchair ramp kicking about somewhere and a member of staff who did a course in 19 oatcake. This is the first venue I've been to which has been truly accessible for all.

@AccessibleArea thank you, our closest big cities are Aberdeen and Inverness, pretty sure Inverness doesn't have a music venue any more since the Ironworks closed. Aberdeen has the P&J and the Music Hall, and I have no idea how accessible these places actually are, but I'm going to look into it. I really don't mind travelling to Glasgow though, just a long round trip, but if its a band that one of my dc want to see I'm happy to.

It doesn't sound dramatic saying it's life changing either. Before last night it was a struggle to get dd to a library, some lovely staff later and she's there singing away at a bloody gig.

@helpyhelperton I wasn't aware of that, thank you. I'll be keeping an eye out for artists she likes and hopefully go again at some point so that's really handy to know.

I keep laughing remembering it because there were all these absolutely gorgeous, done up to the nines youngsters everywhere, and then there's mid forties, pretty chubby old me wandering about saying thank you 9 million times to everyone with teary eyes and a wobbly chin, I must have looked crazy 🤣

I knew a few of the Mother Mother songs, wouldn't have really said I thought anything of them one way or the other really, but at the Q&A bit someone shared a really heartbreaking story with them, and the singer was so sweet to her, so it makes sense if he's been through some stuff too. They were also really good live so I'm probably a fan now (albeit double the age of their current oldest fan I imagine 🤣)

Thank you for the Google review link as well, my mission this evening is to find everywhere I can with a review section and sing their praises so others kno they are safe there too.

I'm so glad other people have had great experiences at the Barrowlands too.

OP posts:
Rarewaxwing · 22/02/2024 10:31

@Beeninhappytearsallnight - hopefully, this will be a turning point for your DD.

Beeninhappytearsallnight · 22/02/2024 10:55

Rarewaxwing · 22/02/2024 10:31

@Beeninhappytearsallnight - hopefully, this will be a turning point for your DD.

She's on a part time school schedule, and part time home school, but actually hasn't been into school for quite some time.

I've just dropped her off and she is going in until lunch time at her request.

This has given her a confidence I haven't seen in her for years.

I really really do hope this is a massive turning point for her. The seizures have really knocked her confidence.

OP posts:
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