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Original poster

Should DD have been served alcohol?

119 replies

HangingOnJustAbout · 13/02/2024 10:38

Two DD, 16 and 18, I allow DD16 alcohol (usually a small wine or half a cider) when we go out for meals. I believe this is legal, she drinks sensibly at parties anyway.

My dd went out with sis's dd 18 and 19 for a meal at a chain pizza place. They ordered a bottle of wine to be shared amongst them, all were ID'd which I'm sure is standard but they refused to allow DD 16 to share the wine and she ended up with a coke.

She wasn't that fussed, it was on Friday and has only just come up in conversation. I think she should have been served, she was having a meal with 3 legal adults. Should she have been? Maybe the adults need to have parental responsibility?

OP posts:
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Getthethrowonthesofa · 13/02/2024 10:39

its up to the restaurant, they can use their discretion.

Gymmum82 · 13/02/2024 10:41

It’s illegal for bar/restaurant staff to serve alcohol to a minor. Even if you say it’s ok. It’s also illegal to supply alcohol to an adult to give to a minor. So your 16 year old should never have been served alcohol with a meal.

JustFrustrated · 13/02/2024 10:43

Gymmum82 · 13/02/2024 10:41

It’s illegal for bar/restaurant staff to serve alcohol to a minor. Even if you say it’s ok. It’s also illegal to supply alcohol to an adult to give to a minor. So your 16 year old should never have been served alcohol with a meal.

Incorrect

Should DD have been served alcohol?

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ZebraPensAreLife · 13/02/2024 10:44

Gymmum82 · 13/02/2024 10:41

It’s illegal for bar/restaurant staff to serve alcohol to a minor. Even if you say it’s ok. It’s also illegal to supply alcohol to an adult to give to a minor. So your 16 year old should never have been served alcohol with a meal.

That’s not true - people who are 16 or 17 can drink certain types of alcohol with a meal if the licence holder / bar manager has approved. They just can’t buy it themselves.

https://www.gov.uk/alcohol-young-people-law

Original poster
HangingOnJustAbout · 13/02/2024 10:44

Gymmum82 · 13/02/2024 10:41

It’s illegal for bar/restaurant staff to serve alcohol to a minor. Even if you say it’s ok. It’s also illegal to supply alcohol to an adult to give to a minor. So your 16 year old should never have been served alcohol with a meal.

Are you in the UK? This isn't true here. It's legal for 16 and 17 yo to drink when accompanied by an adult.

OP posts:
Dancingontheedge · 13/02/2024 10:45

Someone aged 16 or 17 and accompanied by an adult, can drink (but not buy) beer, wine or cider with a meal at a licensed premises (except in Northern Ireland). But it's illegal for people this age to drink spirits in a pub anywhere in the UK, even with a meal.

Drinkaware information.
Can, but it’s at the restaurant’s discretion.

Seeline · 13/02/2024 10:45

Whilst it's not illegal to serve alcohol (beer, cider, wine) to over 16s with a meal if with an adult, the restaurant is under no obligation to do so.

Judgedbycats · 13/02/2024 10:45

Gymmum82 · 13/02/2024 10:41

It’s illegal for bar/restaurant staff to serve alcohol to a minor. Even if you say it’s ok. It’s also illegal to supply alcohol to an adult to give to a minor. So your 16 year old should never have been served alcohol with a meal.

This isn't true. I am a venue manager and a 16 year old can be served with beer, wine or cider while having a meal if they're with an adult. At the discretion of the management.

Singleandproud · 13/02/2024 10:47

Not true under 18s can't drink spirits but can have a wine, beer or cider with a meal so should have been served.

However, once one server decides not to serve the others can't override them, I found this out in my mid 20s at a meal with my parents and without DD and a server refused to serve me which was really annoying as I never drank when with DD and was looking forward to it.

Kalevala · 13/02/2024 10:48

Did she have ID on her? Plenty wouldn't until a provisional licence at 17.

Farwell · 13/02/2024 10:48

Management discretion.
We had this a couple of years back with son who was 16 at the time. Ordered him half a pint to have with his meal. When it arrived, they wouldn't let him have it because it was against their policy.

Original poster
HangingOnJustAbout · 13/02/2024 10:49

Thanks all, so it sounds like the server did not think it appropriate. Slightly annoying because she's been served there when we've been for a family meal so they're not applying a consistent policy.

As I say she wasn't that fussed, more bothered about having to fork out for a coke she didn't want! They'll go elsewhere in future I'm sure.

OP posts:
Fallenangelofthenorth · 13/02/2024 10:49

My daughter's the same age and I also let her drink a glass of champagne or cider sometimes. I do find chains tend not to allow it so we tend to just get her a coke when eating there - not sure if this is company policy or just lack of knowledge about the law by the servers but it's not worth the hassle really when she's not that bothered anyway.

Windydaysandwetnights · 13/02/2024 10:49

Yabu to be OK with your 16 yo drinking alcohol at all.

Kalevala · 13/02/2024 10:50

Why order a coke you don't want? Just ask for water for the table surely?

YireosDodeAver · 13/02/2024 10:50

It would have been legal for them to allow her to be served wine (so long as the legal adults were paying) but in a group of similar-aged people ordering to a table it's not clear who is going to pay, and it would have been illegal if she was paying for herself. A bit of a quagmire, best avoided. This just means the restaurant wouldn't be prosecuted or lose their licence if they chose to serve a 16yo. They aren't under any obligation to do so though. Access to alcohol isn't a human right.

Should DD have been served alcohol?
Wibblywobblylikejelly · 13/02/2024 10:50

HangingOnJustAbout · 13/02/2024 10:49

Thanks all, so it sounds like the server did not think it appropriate. Slightly annoying because she's been served there when we've been for a family meal so they're not applying a consistent policy.

As I say she wasn't that fussed, more bothered about having to fork out for a coke she didn't want! They'll go elsewhere in future I'm sure.

You can't see the difference between them allowing it with older parents and some immature 18 year old?

Yours ans your daughter ridiculous fancy is not worth a person's living.

Dacadactyl · 13/02/2024 10:52

I think it's down to the discretion of staff at the place.

notknowledgeable · 13/02/2024 10:52

HangingOnJustAbout · 13/02/2024 10:49

Thanks all, so it sounds like the server did not think it appropriate. Slightly annoying because she's been served there when we've been for a family meal so they're not applying a consistent policy.

As I say she wasn't that fussed, more bothered about having to fork out for a coke she didn't want! They'll go elsewhere in future I'm sure.

so? they are not obliged to adhere to a "consistent policy" for your convenience.

It would be a stupid policy to attempt to adhere to a "consistent policy".

Fallenangelofthenorth · 13/02/2024 10:53

Windydaysandwetnights · 13/02/2024 10:49

Yabu to be OK with your 16 yo drinking alcohol at all.

The answer to the question no-one asked 🙄

Original poster
HangingOnJustAbout · 13/02/2024 10:54

Kalevala · 13/02/2024 10:48

Did she have ID on her? Plenty wouldn't until a provisional licence at 17.

Yes, she got a citizen card (I think). We needed it for proof of age for some 'extreme' sport we tried.

OP posts:
ZebraPensAreLife · 13/02/2024 10:54

Windydaysandwetnights · 13/02/2024 10:49

Yabu to be OK with your 16 yo drinking alcohol at all.

Yes, it’s so much better to let them loose at 18 with no experience of drinking rather than having a sensible amount with a meal…

WestendVBroadway · 13/02/2024 10:55

I had a similar issue with my now 22 year old DD, when she was 17. We went for a family meal( me, DH, DD, DPs,Dsis her husband and 2 late teen DC). I ordered 1/2 cider for DD. The restaurant asked for her ID and refused to let her have it. I had already paid for it and they tried to take it away. I explained that it was not illegal, but they said it was their rules. I said I would drink it, but they still tried to take it away. We said if you don't let me drink it I want a refund. They kept watching me to make sure it was me who drank it. I may have also said, "f you take it away we will all walk out now, and you have already started cooking 9 meals"

Marblessolveeverything · 13/02/2024 10:56

I imagine it is easier for premises to have a blanket rule. ID over 18. I imagine if you're was with three random adults and served they may not want to deal with parents (incorrectly) saying they would sue.

However why would anyone facilitate a 16 year old consume alcohol? Are you aware of the impact on a growing child's liver? The UK is seeing a huge growth of young adults with acute liver failure. I have a 16 year old I can't imagine buying them alcohol. In Ireland it is illegal.Here is a UK reference with the information https://anitacleare.co.uk/should-i-give-my-teen-alcohol/

Photo of teenage boy to illustrate advice by parenting expert Anita Cleare on teen alcohol use

Should I Give My Teen Alcohol? | Anita Cleare

Lots of parents believe that giving a teen alcohol in a controlled way helps protect them. But what does the research actually say?

https://anitacleare.co.uk/should-i-give-my-teen-alcohol

glusky · 13/02/2024 10:56

HangingOnJustAbout · 13/02/2024 10:49

Thanks all, so it sounds like the server did not think it appropriate. Slightly annoying because she's been served there when we've been for a family meal so they're not applying a consistent policy.

As I say she wasn't that fussed, more bothered about having to fork out for a coke she didn't want! They'll go elsewhere in future I'm sure.

Not necessarily the server, it might be a change of policy or a different duty manager.

I wouldn't vote with my feet because I wouldn't want to send the message to DD that her getting alcohol is important enough for that.