We bumped in to OW

[Loomy]

I posted a while back that I found out then DP had cheated. We subsequently broke up except 6 months later he wore me down and caught me at a low ebb and suggested we went for a walk. I agreed as I needed to get out the house. We were walking and ex suddenly said oh look at that dog etc to which I looked at the dog and then at his face puzzled as he hates dogs. Then to where he was looking, and a woman walked past with an elderly person and made a kind of goldfish action. Like she was going to speak to ex and didn’t, then to me and didn’t and carried on walking at which point ex start rambling about the dog in a high pitch voice and I just knew. I said that’s her isn’t it? He said yes and was laughing and acting all silly and weird.
Part of me wanted to run after her and out what they did in front of her mum and screaming how fucking dare you.
Instead I settled on swearing at ex until I reached my car whilst secretly wishing I wasn’t so passive and had yelled at her too!

The OW was just a participant - he would have probably gone with anyone he could manipulate and likely sold her a sob story that you weren't putting out or were shagging someone else to get a pity party in her pants.

The problem when you start focusing on her is you risk comparison between the women, which also does no favours for the victim. He has the control here and manufactured the situation to hoodwink the OP and get his cake and eat it.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe gosh you’re getting very angry with me for some reason. I’m sorry if what I said has triggered you.

My point was in response to the repeated advice “it’s not the OW you should be angry with”, and the frequent statements that OWs have done nothing wrong. I strongly disagree with this. OWs may not have made the promises that the DH made, but I’d like to think we should all make an silent promise to our fellow human beings that we won’t deliberately shit on them just because we want to.

I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on this subject.

Don't @ me, *MumblesParty, please.

I'm not angry with anybody, I responded to your post asking an inflammatory and goady question, that's it.

It's up to the partnered people to stop being unfaithful then there would be no OW or OM. I'm not about to make other women responsible for my husband's fidelity. He made vows with me and if he cheats then that's on him. The woman involved is irrelevant.

Happy to agree to disagree on this topic, that is usually the case as any reference to cheating husband is minor -v- vitriolic for OW. I have no respect for that view.

Goldfish action? Are you drunk, op?

How difficult is it to NOT shag around when you're with somebody?

And how difficult is it to NOT shag someone when you know they have a partner?

Even if they got the “my wife doesn’t understand me” speech any decent woman would tell them to come back when they are single. And if they don’t then they are trash and deserve as much as the guy

You’ve just ‘but’d your own sentence! 😉

Sorry not helpful. BUT I couldn’t help but notice.

Jesus! Kicking a person when they’re feeling down make you feel nice does it?

I think you did very well OP. Please ignore the people on here who are lecturing you in your distress.

You can say think or feel whatever you like but you were dignified in that you didn’t make a scene and showed your ex that he has no chance. Well done and hope you’re feeling ok.

Not particularly, but then again that’s not what I’ve done. I’ve merely pointed out two things to the op - firstly that her anger would be better directed at the person who was in a committed relationship with her rather than the ow, and when she tried to backtrack and claim that was the case, I pointed out the inconsistency with a previous post. This is a site where people give advice, some of which the op might not like, or agree with, but that’s the nature of advice. It’s not a cheerleading site.