Things that (irrationally) annoy you when staying at other people’s homes

[NameName2023]

Currently staying at my MIL’s house for a couple of days and three things have irritated me and I need to get over it:

1. bed - actually applies to both my SIL and MIL. Both of their spare rooms are huge, ridiculously so. Yet they only have double/kingsize beds when there is easily enough room for a super king. This is probably my issue though as we have a super king at home so I’m used to the space, rather than having to squeeze in with my 6’5”, rugby built husband.
2. Drinks - not once have they offered anything. I’ve offered to make tea if I’ve made myself one. Also, they’ll only offer alcoholic drinks if DH is in the room (DH was getting toddler down for bed, he came in to top up the milk bottle and FIL offered him a drink, despite me being sat there without one. It’s like women can only be offered a drink once the men have!).
3. lunch - literally nothing in the fridge for lunch today. They knew they had guests but obviously didn’t think to get food in to make sandwiches or anything. I’m breastfeeding our baby and bloody hungry. I was offered a very nutritious breakfast of Rice Krispies and thats all I’ve been offered today. DH and I are going to the supermarket later. Going to stock up on snacks.

I guess some of it is my issue but it’s just really annoyed me. I just want to be back home!

Hard beds and foam pillows. I can't sleep on a hard bed and I like to be able to squidge my pillow into shape. I always take a feather pillow with me, but a mattress topper is more difficult. I also don't like staying somewhere with just one loo as I get embarrassed about leaving smells.....

Not staying with my stepdaughter (no space) but never being offered anything to eat even when we're there at mealtimes. We have to travel 6 hours to get there so we stay in a hotel, but we have to avoid mealtimes as there aren't any meals! I honestly don't think she eats lunch. We would like to see more of her when we go to see her, but it is honestly very awkward. Just a sandwich or some toast would be fine, but no.....

So much aggression just about coffee. I guess it is an addiction.

Aggression? 😂

I don't mind being referred to as a coffee snob at all. Don't worry.

Just keep digging. ☕️

One house we stayed in belonged to a friend's adult daughter and family, who had gone away. Our friends stayed there with us, it's a big house. We were put in the teenage GDD's room, the bed was a small double, old, saggy and stinky. In fact the whole house smelled very strongly of dogs, it was dusty and not very clean.
My friend changed her GDD's bedroom around so the bed wasn't up against the wall and she was panicking the next day in case she didn't put it back exactly right. (We hadn't asked her to change it!)
The family returned that day as planned, we'd been told to stay and say hello but they clearly disliked us being there - the teenager said not a word, just gave us filthy looks. Grandma obviously hadn't put her room back right and GDD absolutely hated that we'd used it. Her Dad, friend's son in law, also went off to his study without greeting us. All extremely awkward and we left sharpish.
We'd been assured it was fine to stay but it clearly wasn't. And our friends want us to do it again next time the family go away!
No chance.

I just don't get this thing about not offering food or drink to guests. To me, it's incomprehensible. Is it an English thing? My parents came from a Polish background, where not offering a guest to join in a meal would be considered the height of rudeness

All of DHs older relatives offer you stuff, whether you want it or not. SIL/BIL offer nothing. Despite knowing we drink tea they have in 30 years never gotten teabags in, or have milk in. My BIL is always angry that I don’t drink coffee as he constantly buys new coffee machines and wants to show them off.
They also offer zero food. The expectation is we get a takeaway and then we pay for theirs as well. We used to eat before going round or make dinner plans so we had to leave.

Of course it's not an English thing, I'm always offering copious food and drink to my guests

I'm sure there are many generous English hosts.

You can eat or drink anything in my home. Help yourself though don’t wait for me. Unless I’ve offered up said full fry up or a proper dinner/take away/fresh baked goods.

PG Tips is good tea? 🤣. It’s a cheap blend.

So much ignorance from you.

They don’t? Then call housekeeping and ask for one.

Five star hotels have coffee machines that take pods of some kind. Even four star ones do.

HTH 😎

Definitely an English thing

It's really not a British thing not to offer hospitality, certainly in Northern Ireland we had to cut the visits to relatives and friends as we were in danger of turning into a scone ourselves as freshly baked ones wheeled out whenever and whatever time we visited. Not to mention the Irish stew provided at 2.30pm when I had deliberately picked the visit to be outside normal eating times.

Oh and @Meowandthen I have stayed in a number of 5 star and 4 star hotels over the past few years in Jersey, Dubrovnik, Tenerife and Lanzarote. The only one that provided a coffee machine was Leonardos in Chester, the rest had the usual undrinkable machine muck at breakfast and sachets of Nescafe in the room.

Yes I’m of Irish heritage and DH often jokes that people don’t have their coat off before they’re being offered a drink. It’s automatic. I find it odd when visiting his English family that I can be sitting on the sofa a good while before there’s an offer.

I just don't get this thing about not offering food or drink to guests. To me, it's incomprehensible. Is it an English thing? My parents came from a Polish background, where not offering a guest to join in a meal would be considered the height of rudeness

I'd always offer guests a drink, and generally biscuits or something. Surely if they are coming for a meal you'd know in advance though? Is popping round unannounced and then being invited to stay for a meal really a thing? It's never happened to me (as host or guest)! Do people just buy/make enough food for extra people every meal, just on the off-chance that guests will turn up?

This puts me in mind of many instances of Irish hospitality experienced in the past - potato cakes, nice pot of tea, fruit bread buttered to within an inch of its life...mmm

A lot of meals can just be expanded - add a few slices of bread, some hummus, jar of pickles, or whatever is to be found. I find myself doing this every now and then when a hungry uninvited person comes

In the breakfast room you mean?
Most don't have them in the bedrooms or anywhere guests can access them freely.

Any kind of tea and coffee in rooms is rare outside the UK ime and when they do exist are mainly a kettle.

Quite happy to be ignorant about a drink I don't consume.
We can't be experts in everything.

"PG Tips is good tea? 🤣. It’s a cheap blend."

It's good for those of us who like strong tea. Good doesn't necessarily equal expensive.

I don't always go to posh hotels with phones. Believe me, I always go to reception to complain, but don't always get the blanket or someone to turn up the heating.

Worst hotel ever for heating was an Ibis where I was told it was heated through to March and then from April air conditioning, whatever the weather in April. They lent me a heater, but wanted it back after half an hour.

Not having a complex alarm system so nobody can go downstairs until its switched off (inlaws) and coming in to get clothes out of the (third) wardrobe before people are up and dressed (also inlaws).