I went to a strangers house last night ...

[blinkofaneye90]

It was a friend of a friend type of thing who was hosting a beauty event. OMG her house was amazing. Probably valued around £2m, it was immaculate. Enough space to have not any clutter, a walk in shoes & coats cupboard, minimalistic, absolutely everything matching, all decor finished to a high spec. It was like a magazine show home. We have a fairly decent modern house, new kitchen installed last year, but it made me want to come home and rip out my new kitchen and everything else in my house and start again. Whereas I cant do that, I have cleared the very little clutter we had hanging around and this weekend will be doing a huge clean just to make everything smell/look/feel fresh. Will treat myself to some flowers too. The owner of the house was also immaculate. Slim, lovely manicured nails, softly spoken. I looked at myself - a little overweight, wearing a bobbled top with leggings and a tatty old pair of trainers (which I wouldn't usually ever wear, I put the wrong pair on by mistake).

I want to bin off work today and crack on with the house. And then go and buy myself the same lovely smelling Neom diffuser this house had, but it's £45 and I cannot ever justify that cost for a diffuser.

All of this. Bird song and a beautiful sunrise absolutely make me very happy to be alive, when I cycle to work. But I can afford to work part time (I want to work and love my job). I can afford to stay at home when I’m sick. I am lucky to have travelled to very nice places around the world with my family, which have given us wonderful memories. I can afford to buy food without looking too much how much it cost. I can afford to have my heating on in my house by the sea 24hrs a day, because I hate to be cold.

It would be extremely rude of me to tell someone who can’t afford any of this that money doesn’t in a way buy happiness.
When I couldn’t even afford to buy milk, that was all I could think about. Worrying. And I’d love to have the house op describes, there is no way I could afford it and that is fine. But I feel no need to put the woman living in it down.

A £2m+ house they are (and the majority below that figure). I know a lot of rich people.

People who live in immaculate homes may be overly worked up/neurotic. I have met a few.

How grim! I always feel depressed and inadequate visiting places like that. They always strike me as clinical and lacking in character. Give me a place full of clutter and character any day.

Exactly!

Clutter - now that’s depressing if anything. No clutter doesn’t mean no character. If so you need to look up decorating tips or ask someone who knows how to decorate.

You don't see a 2m house as normal so feel intimidated when you go back to your lovely home.

Quite a few of my friends live in 4m+ houses. Mine is less, 2.5 or 3 (don't know) but I can tell you when I walk into some of these 4m+ homes I feel exactly the same as you do.

Which proves it really is that people judge their homes and lives and perhaps general life satisfaction with that of their friends, not necessarily what is average nationwide.

This is such a contradictory statement, why do you feel inadequate and depressed if you also feel it’s clinical and lacking in character. Surely if you feel it’s only negative things you’d not feel remotely inadequate?

Clutter doesn’t represent character, it’s just clutter. There is nothing pleasant about a cluttered home.

I was adopted by a family who were abusive to me after they had a biological daughter after me. Their biological daughter joined in with their abuse. They built a house for their biological child, as well as leaving her everything when they died. While I just live in a tiny rented flat.
It's sad how people admire those with lots of money, even if they're not nice people

Me too x

I agree that clutter is depressing but I am a natural hoarder and have OCD which prevents me from throwing anything out. This is why it makes me feel depressed and inadequate, but I also dislike clinical homes because I feel they lack character. Sorry if this offends you.

Same here!

I agree that

I agree that clutter is depressing but I have OCD and find it really really difficult to throw anything out. My mum was like that too. As for getting someone in to help I would love to be able to afford that but living on a pension ain't easy 😒

You can spend the :45 squid - it'll do you good and it's only the price of a blow dry!

That's your next post ' looking for a handyman in (post code} to freshen up walls and woodwork. For the clutter:
Dealing with the whole house feels like a mammoth task which would take at least a week. My solution starts with picking up everything that's in the wrong place. That's everything: clothes, books and magazines, toys, tennis rackets, whatever. Stuff into a spare room (if you have one) or in a cupboard - anywhere out of sight. Now, see how that feels. Sit down and have a coffee and enjoy the lack of clutter. From then in, you can decide how many hours you want to dedicate to getting this pile of stuff where it belongs. However long, up to you to decide - stick to that.