I went to a strangers house last night ...

[blinkofaneye90]

It was a friend of a friend type of thing who was hosting a beauty event. OMG her house was amazing. Probably valued around £2m, it was immaculate. Enough space to have not any clutter, a walk in shoes & coats cupboard, minimalistic, absolutely everything matching, all decor finished to a high spec. It was like a magazine show home. We have a fairly decent modern house, new kitchen installed last year, but it made me want to come home and rip out my new kitchen and everything else in my house and start again. Whereas I cant do that, I have cleared the very little clutter we had hanging around and this weekend will be doing a huge clean just to make everything smell/look/feel fresh. Will treat myself to some flowers too. The owner of the house was also immaculate. Slim, lovely manicured nails, softly spoken. I looked at myself - a little overweight, wearing a bobbled top with leggings and a tatty old pair of trainers (which I wouldn't usually ever wear, I put the wrong pair on by mistake).

I want to bin off work today and crack on with the house. And then go and buy myself the same lovely smelling Neom diffuser this house had, but it's £45 and I cannot ever justify that cost for a diffuser.

I do know envy with houses. My twin sister has owned her home for years, they moved into their (albeit) small 2 bed Victorian house the same time as we moved into our 2 bed new build rental. I loved our home and it was brilliant for us, but there was always the nagging feeling that we were not "good enough". She also managed to keep her house decorated and her style, whilst we had to limit what we could do due to renting. We were given notice last year as landlord wanted to sell, and it was the kick up the ass to get us moving. We now OWN our own home, still new build, still 2 bed so small, but it is ours and I couldn't be happier, it is tiny in comparison to some and people may see it is a shoebox but it is ours and I love it!!!!

Mention of naked under a raincoat... I met a new bf naked but for a coat and high boots. Felt an absolute disgrace as I popped into Morrison's for a bottle of wine first!!

If anyone is feeling a bit meh about their home, I recommend Maximalist Design and Decor (FB group) some people there have a LOT of stuff! Makes me feel quite minimalist by comparison!

My house is a riot, but it’s also filled with kids, dogs, work and above all else a lot of love. As long as it gets a once over every now and again I don’t stress - I hate the show home look, it’s just not for me, I want visitors to feel welcome and not scared of spilling and ruining an expensive white sofa….they sit at my table and add a few pieces to a random jigsaw that’s laying out! I have photos and pictures everywhere, I have books and crafts, recipes, tat….you name it but it makes me smile and I love it.

I'm a single mum and owning my house is one of my proudest achievements, I’ve worked so hard to get it and for us it’s our safe space and that means it’s a chilled and relaxing place to be.

I bet your house is gorgeous

Happiness is learning to love what you have.

I'd far rather have the Nemo diffuser. I am imagining schools of clownfish bobbing about in a kind of drifty woo aquarium. Definite gap in the market. OP, get inventing, make your fortune...but anyway d i bet any house you have would be tons more homely and happier than MLM acquaintance's.

Don't let comparison be the thief of joy. But do channel your energy on improving your space. Do the jobs, declutter, make a list of stuff you need to do but can't afford and word through it.

Start running and buy a sofa throw, job done.

It’s hard not to compare ourselves to others, but I bet you have plenty people who love you for you and don’t care about the tattie trainers. Your house sounds like a home and I bet it’s lovely and welcoming. I’m sure the people who love you couldn’t care less if you were immaculate with everything matching. It’s just not for everyone, I don’t see myself as immaculate and I never will be, but I do get plenty compliments when I do dress up and make an effort. I just can’t be arsed making an effort 90% of the time, I’m comfy. We’re our own biggest critics, no one is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself.

I am soooo much happier in a friend's house when it's just a normal house. I feel 'on show' at a 'show house'... if that makes sense.
I don't mind drinking my tea next to their drying laundry or seeing their toothbrush by the bathroom sink.
I quite like having to move a few kids books / toys to get comfy on the sofa.
I like my friends to have real lives and not put on a show for me....

Not allowed in our housing to use candles (would not want to anyway) but do use diffusers. I bought the Neom one once when I had money. It was ok but just as happy with cheaper ones. At the moment I only live in one small room. No point buying flashy stuff!!

Nothing wrong with being inspired but don’t try and emulate if it’s not the real you as you’ll just set yourself up for disappointment. Sometimes when I see a beautiful house on tv it gives me a bit of a kick up the arse to tIdy and clean up a bit more but it only lasts a day. I bought a diffuser (the one with sticks) for £35 and I can’t even smell it! My dream is for my house to look and smell like the The White Company but I doubt it’s ever going to happen. I’m a bobbled jumper and leggings type person myself :)

I live in a council flat. Couldn't care less about massive show homes. Can't take it with you when you're dead.

I find it so weird on these threads that people insinuate that because someone has a ‘show home’ style house it’s not filled with love or comfortable, some people are just tidy and have good taste, it doesn’t make them heartless robots 🤣

Don’t compare yourself.

Weirdly we’ve been viewing houses lately - looking at upsizing (not quite the £2m type but 4 bed detached) and it’s actually made me realise as lovely as these other houses are that our current 3 bed terrace is actually really nice and homely. My guess is her home probably wasn’t that homely.

Now the woman may have anxiety. Sorry, she may have CRIPPLING anxiety. My God, this is becoming sooo tedious.

@blinkofaneye90

I 🤔 think like the Karen White Author of a book on how dynamic prominent and no so prominent achieve things in life
says a bit of envy emotion can be a useful constructive along as its used in the right way,

Such as you can't emulate your friend in having an identikit house as hers,

but what is the emotion of feeling a bit envious telling you about something about your life ect?

It could be telling you to have a more clutter free life so you can think with more clarity to do projects you want to focus on in your life ect,

Also perhaps your house wall decor looks a bit tired and bland,
maye need to jazz it up make it look more personable

All emotions have a reason for them

even what is percieved as negative socially unacceptable emotions such as jealously and anger,

Such as Anger is a emotion screaming 😱 yelling at you for example that someone an Arsehole has transgressed your personal boundaries in some way,

For example if someone is a bit jealously of their friend meeting a good man for a change instead of usaul jerk type of men,
they often talk about their misfortune of coming across those types of men,

The emotion of envy in that kind of situation could be telling the envious friend,
that they need to see a good therapist to heal from embedded long standing trauma and improve their self cofindence and be more selective about who they date,
this is the positive aspects of using that emotion to benefit themselves in self development...

Sometimes a house like that is lovely but they are not always happy. Great if they are but I'd rather have a happy family (who make a mess occasionally) than a spotless house.

Yeah I think see it as inspiration about what a lovely environment you could make for yourself if you choose to, not that you SHOULD- I bet a lot of what makes her home feel lovely is that it's clutter free (not how much she spends on her diffuser although you could ask for one for Mother's Day if you want that) and de cluttering is either free or you can make money from it!

I was thinking oh no but you are still alive, and posting here.

I just checked out the diffuser you mentioned, just in case anyone doesn't know, anyone with pets should not use essential oil diffusers because they are toxic to them.

About the rest, it almost sounds like you have a crush of sorts on her.

The amount of money, time and effort it takes to make a home like that is verging on the frivolous in my view. I tend to admire people who pour their resources into more important things.

Grass is always greener. No one has a perfect life, everyone has secrets and foibles.

I know people like this and they always have at least one of the following:
OCD
Alcoholism
An eating disorder
Loneliness
An unhappy marriage
Clinical anxiety

Aww that's lovely ❤And I agree i'd rather have my gorgeous dogs curled up with me and sofa throws everywhere than a show home!

We're the tiny house on a road next to the millionaire's house. And I can tell you after 3 years of living next door that they are no fucking happier than us.

They may have more money, but they are no more happy - in fact much less that I've seen.

And the money they waste keeping up appearances. Ugh so many better things they could do.